


A Way Home

by FallsTogether



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 21:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 47,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2482841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallsTogether/pseuds/FallsTogether
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magic beans allow Emma and her family to return to the Enchanted Forest, but Regina decides it's better for everyone if she remains alone in Storybrooke. Emma doesn't like that idea, but agrees. A few months later, Emma isn't enjoying her life/can't move on from the feelings she has for Regina, so she finds a way to visit. After Season 2 finale. Henry isn't taken to Neverland. Rated T for now but definitely M later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Whole New World

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time in any way and have only borrowed my favorite characters for some fun and not at all for profit.

**Chapter 1: A Whole New World**

Darkness flooded the woods around them. The moonlight was barely able to penetrate through the tall trees, thick with the leaves that covered them. Emma and Snow sat on their horses making their way almost blindly through the forest, most of their light coming from a torch Emma had enchanted, so it glowed but wouldn't cause the brush around them to catch fire.

"Is there somewhere nearby we could spend the night?" Emma asked her mother, not liking how she couldn't even see ten feet ahead of them. She also couldn't deny that she was sore from riding all day, since they had left the site where the final battle against the ogres had taken place early that morning. The giant creatures had finally been defeated by Snow and Charming's army along with Emma's magic, and it was time for them to go home.

Snow's face was conflicted, as she thought over Emma's question. The shadows dancing over her fair skin contributed to her haunted look.

"What? Is it somewhere horrible? More ogres or dragons or something?" Emma tried to tease, but her mother's face only became more troubled, almost remorseful.

"The castle I grew up in," Snow offered quietly. "It's just beyond the trees and the valley behind them."

That was when Emma understood what had her mother so upset. "That was her castle, right? Regina's?"

Snow gave a solemn nod in reply. "If we head there now, it shouldn't take us more than a half hour."

The Savior had every desire to object and continue riding onto their own castle, but she felt exhausted from the day's events and was barely able to keep herself from sliding off her horse. All she wanted was somewhere comfortable to lie down and rest until the sun came up. But of course, with her luck, it  _would_  be Regina's former castle that was closest to them. Still, there were worse possibilities and right now, even the castle where the Evil Queen had spent her reign, sounded like an answered prayer.

"There's nowhere else around here to stop?"

A quick shake of Snow's head told her daughter no, and Emma let out a less-than-amused laugh at the irony. "Well, no one should be there. Most of her army was defeated by you and any that survived were forced to remain in Storybrooke."

"It should be empty," Snow breathed in confirmation. And that was when Emma realized the fact that it would be vacant was what was really bothering both of them. Regina wouldn't be there sitting on some throne, or sauntering around defiantly with her chin held regally high, wearing a dress only the former Evil Queen could pull off.

It was funny to Emma how easily she could picture the woman as her fairy tale self when she had only ever seen Regina as the uptight mayor and mother back in Storybrooke. Sure, she had witnessed the Evil Queen poking through the closed off woman, who used sass and sarcasm to belittle others and protect herself, but it wasn't as though Regina was traipsing around Storybrooke like she had jumped right out of Henry's book. Thirty years had passed since she'd fully been who she was in the Enchanted Forest, and that want of a happy ending, and later, the will and desire to change, had caused her to become someone who was only shadowed by the Evil Queen.

That was what had torn at Emma the most, once they had collected enough beans to return back to the place Emma had been born. The woman had been about to sacrifice herself, risking her own life to delay the failsafe from blowing up Storybrooke, so that the inhabitants of the town could escape. So that Henry could leave with the rest of his family and wouldn't have to be alone. Yet, even after Emma and her family had gone back to the mines to try to save Regina, and Emma ended up using her own magic to work with Regina's to stop the destruction…Even after, they had ended up succeeding, the town was grateful, but still cold toward Regina. There were too many years of fear and hate between them for one heroic act to end the anger and distrust toward the woman who had cursed them all to the world that was without magic. It wasn't enough for the changed woman to earn some kind of understanding or true forgiveness from them.

Plus, by the time Regina and Emma had gone on to erase Greg and Tamara's memories and get them to leave Storybrooke for good, everyone had been too distracted by the knowledge of the last remaining magic bean to care about any more of Regina's good deeds.

Almost everyone (aside from the fifty or so who remained in Storybrooke, Maine) had been ready to go back to their world, now that the magically-constructed town was no longer safe. All anyone could focus on was how long it would take to cultivate enough beans from a stalk that sprouted from the bean they had stolen back from Tamara. Then, after two weeks, Snow White had announced that they'd be returning to their land the following afternoon.

Deciding what to do about Regina had been a huge debate that started between Snow and David, and continued with advice from their council. It wasn't until Emma and Henry fought for Regina to come back with them that anyone else even leaned in that direction. The problem was that many of the townspeople didn't like the idea of her living freely among them in a place where she had had such strong powers, but Emma pushed her parents to come up with some kind of compromise. At one point, she had even suggested to her mother that Regina move into their castle and she'd keep an eye on the former queen constantly at the risk of fireballs being thrown at her. Snow had considered it, but much of the council felt Emma would be too trusting of Regina to be an effective guard against her. Finally, it was settled that Regina would remain in jail without magic, if she were to go with them.

_"We can work on getting them to change their minds, but you have to come with us," Emma had beseeched her, the night she had gone to the white mansion to deliver news of the council's decision to Regina. Henry had begged to go with her, but Emma had insisted on seeing the woman first, and then if Regina wanted, she'd bring their son over the next morning._

_"I will not be a prisoner. Especially, not in the cell they kept Rumpelstiltskin in! He was insane by the end, Emma! I don't want that."_

_"So what? Are you just going to stay in Storybrooke?"_

_"The town isn't invisible anymore," Regina reminded. "Your mother and father were going to see to it that people from this world started moving in, so that it'll remain thriving for anyone who wants to stay here. I could ensure that it remains successful."_

_"Then Henry and I will stay with you. He shouldn't be taken away from you."_

_"You're the only one who believes that," Regina exhaled, her eyes meeting Emma's wearily._

_"So does he."_

_"But he wants to live in the world he should have been born in," It was a valid argument, but one that had Emma losing hope of achieving a simple alternative. Regina looked to her from the other end of the sofa they were both sitting on. "He'll resent me if I'm the reason you force him to stay here. You'll resent me. You need to go with your family. We'd end up driving each other crazy. You hate me now; you'd hate me even more after a few weeks."_

_Emma stared at her for a moment, taking in the pain that clouded Regina's eyes; the unhappiness. She hated that they were even having this conversation. Why had she even broken the curse? Sure, she was glad to find her family and bring their memories back to them, but now she wondered if the family she had made with Mary Margaret and Henry, could have worked on bringing Regina into it, if the curse hadn't broken and things had been different. If she hadn't been such a threat toward Regina and her relationship with Henry back then, maybe they could have found the common ground they'd recently settled on. But there was no use in thinking about it now. Plus, breaking the curse was probably inevitable anyway, and she was forgetting how much she had despised Regina, before they worked to save Henry from the poisonous apple turnover all those months ago._

_"I don't hate you," Emma said quietly, her eyes connecting intensely with Regina's._

_Regina studied her, her brown eyes searching Emma's. "Perhaps that's true, but you would learn to."_

_"Maybe, but-"_

_"No. I want you to take Henry and go with them."_

_Emma felt her lips tug downward. She felt how Regina was attempting to push her out of Storybrooke and her life, but the brown eyes looking at her seemed to only want to pull her back in._

_"We won't be able to come back. The magic beans are too much of a threat. The council has voted not to harvest them anymore. They want portal hopping to become more difficult and my parents agreed. They will each keep one in case of emergency, but that's it."_

_Regina looked at her intently, like she was considering something, and stood up. She walked out of the room, returning a few minutes later with a small felt bag. "Here. For you and Henry in case you ever need them."_

_Emma took the bag and opened it, spilling out two beans into her hand."_

_"Where-"_

_"I picked those off when I first found where the dwarves were growing them. They were the ones I was going to use to take Henry away with me. Of course, one would have been enough for that, but it never hurts to have another just in case."_

_"But-"_

_"Take them, Emma."_

_"What if you change your mind?"_

_Regina's head moved back and forth in answer. "Knowing my son is safe and has the freedom to leave that place if he chooses or needs to, is more important. And I won't change my mind," Regina said firmly and Emma almost believed it._

_"Thank you," Emma whispered, understanding that there was no point in arguing. They both knew her gratitude was for more than the beans. The blonde stood up from the chair she was still sitting in, and walked with Regina to the door._

_"Send Henry tomorrow before you go? I want to give him something and say goodbye."_

_"I will," Emma agreed, her eyes lifting from the pouch in her hand to Regina's face. "He's not going to like this."_

_"We don't always like what has to happen in life, do we?"_

_Emma shook her head. "I'm sorry."_

_"For?"_

_"Not being able to fight them more on this."_

_"I thought you were going to say for coming to Storybrooke in the first place," Regina smirked._

_"I can't really apologize for that; I found my family. But if there's one thing I'm sorry about it's taking yours away from you."_

_"I suppose I'm just meant to be alone. I'm sure I deserve it after all I've done."_

_Emma found herself reaching out and taking Regina's hand; rubbing her thumb over it. She felt Regina flinch at the touch, but she didn't pull away._

" _No one should be alone," Emma took a step toward her, noticing the tears that were rising in Regina's eyes._

" _If there's one thing I'm sorry for in all of this, aside from what I'm about to do to Henry, I'm sorry I'm the reason you were alone," Regina kept her eyes locked on Emma's, even as she brought one of her fingers up to catch a tear before it tumbled onto her cheek._

" _I don't really blame you for that," Emma told her truthfully, watching how little effort it took for Regina to hold herself together emotionally after so many years of practice. "My parents made a choice."_

" _That they wouldn't have had to make if it wasn't for me."_

" _I guess this was just how it was supposed to be. Like I said, I don't hate you."_

_Emma raised her other hand to Regina's cheek, cupping it. Traces of fear flickered through Regina's glassy eyes, but she leaned into the touch. "Go," Regina breathed, with the smallest of smiles, but Emma looked at her conflicted. "Henry's waiting for you."_

_Regina stepped out of Emma's hands before the blonde could do anything to make this even more difficult for both of them. The older woman had seen it in the green eyes. The briefest thought to lean in and kiss her, but now wasn't the time. They were letting go, not holding on, and especially not when doing anything to keep their stories linked would have disrupted everything that had already been decided. Some things just couldn't be, no matter how right they suddenly felt when you were about to walk away from them._

"This is it?" Emma wondered almost inaudibly, as if raising her voice any louder would unleash a secret curse or the guards that didn't exist here anymore.

They brought the horses to the stables, and gave them food they found there and water from a nearby well. Snow made some off-handed comment about watching the stable hands tending the horses once, but how after her father had died, Regina never allowed anyone near them, except for the people she hired to take care of them.

They made their way to the entrance of the dark, almost forbidding palace, but the coldness Emma could sense from it, was too familiar to inspire any foreboding or intimidation that she knew it was meant to. It may not have been the mansion on Mifflin, which was a studio apartment compared to this, but it still felt like Regina. Her presence still carried itself through the halls and was absorbed by the walls.

"It feels lonely," Emma said without thinking, but it was too true to take back.

She followed her mother past the mirrors on the wall, seeing her wild blonde hair reflected in the glass, fighting hard to stay in the ponytail it had mostly fallen out of. They entered a room with the largest mirror, and Emma recognized the looking glass from a page in Henry's book.

"Sidney's not here," Emma observed when the glass remained a reflection of herself and the room behind her.

"He wouldn't be. Not when she's not here."

"Cursed to look upon her forever," Emma remembered the line from one of the stories she had finally read during her bouts of insomnia the first few nights she'd spent in her parents' castle.

"Follow me. We'll go to where my old room was."

By Snow's urgent tone, she guessed it was too much for her mother to be there, surrounded by Regina's aura, especially when they were in her chambers. Emma walked a few paces behind her mother and pictured Regina roaming the halls, but not only as the strong, intimidating, fierce monarch she had been. She pictured the Regina she had known (just a little younger and less cold) finding her way around the enormous palace when she first came there.

"Was she ever happy here?" Emma wondered forlornly to herself, but her mother heard the question she had spoken aloud. Snow's head turned sharply, so she could face her daughter. For a moment, Emma wanted to unsay what she had said, not liking the violent stare her mother shot at her, but it quickly melted into sadness.

"I don't know," The confession was almost a whisper, as Snow's arms crossed over her stomach and she gave a small shiver, while she hugged herself. "I wanted her to be."

"But that doesn't mean she was."

"No, it doesn't."

They continued walking, but Snow started talking again. It seemed as if Emma's question had finally forced her to think about something from a point of view other than the one she had only ever used to justify her actions with.

"I thought Daniel left her. That's what she had me believe for years," Her mother explained in a voice that sounded caught in between the present and the past. Emma made sure they were walking side-by-side now. "I didn't know Cora killed him. I was a child, and I thought somehow Regina had a change of heart because Daniel had abandoned her. I loved my father and figured she'd somehow come to care for him too."

"She didn't," Emma stated, tasting something as vile as what she felt at the thoughts of Daniel's death and King Leopold. The young princess Snow White had been when a youthful Regina wed her father may not have pieced together the reality of what that marriage meant for the innocent, quickly breaking young queen, but Emma did.

"She killed him," Snow confirmed sorrowfully, but Emma also picked up on the lack of bitterness or anger toward Regina that she assumed would be communicated in her mother's words.

"Was he ever good to her?"

Snow thought it over. Her face wrinkled in uncertainty. "It seemed he was."

"You can't say for sure," Emma concluded.

"I rarely saw them together. In the beginning, before they married, she only seemed slightly more reserved. But she became colder over the years. I tried to…she wasn't the Regina I hugged when she saved me from my horse. Just as beautiful, but inside she was never the same," Emma saw the tears gathering in Snow's eyes, until she looked down remorsefully. "I never wanted that to happen to her. I spent so many years hoping she'd find that woman inside of her again."

"Some things change us and we can never go back to being who we were."

"No, we can't. You and Henry were helping her find it again, though. The good. You let her know you saw she was capable of change and believed that she could, longer than I ever did."

Emma nodded as they stopped in front of a wooden door. "I understood. I didn't always do a great job of showing I was on her side, but I wanted to. Wasn't easy with everything else going on."

They were silent for a moment, until Snow found her words again. "I hope she finds the happiness I never meant to take away from her."

"I wish she wasn't so stubborn and came back here with us," Emma vented with a frustrated sigh.

Snow placed a comforting hand on Emma's shoulder. "I'm sorry I couldn't get them to agree to anything but jail for her. After seeing Rumpelstiltskin there, I'd do anything to avoid that."

"She said the same thing. I would have stayed with her. I swear I would have gotten her out."

"I know," Snow soothed. "I don't think it was only avoiding that jail. This world was a prison for Regina. Magic was the only way she had any control. It wasn't somewhere she ever wanted to come back to."

"Yeah, not even with her family," Emma scoffed bitterly and Snow wrapped her arm around her in a hug.

"We'll take care of Henry. He won't forget her."

"It's not just Henry she abandoned," The words were heavy and rushed, but Snow caught them and pulled back from Emma to look at her, obviously trying to identify what her daughter was feeling. Before she could say anything Emma was shaking her head. "Sorry. Nevermind. Forget it."

"Emma," Snow touched her arm, silently letting her know she could confide in her mother.

"No, it doesn't matter now, right?" Emma forced a pathetic attempt at a smile. "Regina made her choice and I followed through with what she told me she thought was best for us to do. We're where Henry wants to be, I'm learning how to be a good mom, and I'm sure Regina's fine with the decision she made."

"Emma," Snow repeated, giving her arm a gentle squeeze.

Emma felt the frustration bubbling within her, but it faded with the breaths she took. "I just—why is this so hard? She was the Evil Queen and we were always at each other's throats before the curse broke. It should be easy to forget about her and move on."

"She raised Henry. You saved everyone's lives together. And like you were saying before, you understood who she was trying to be. In some way, that must make you feel connected to someone no matter who they are," Snow offered with a thin smile. Emma returned the smile half-heartedly, agreeing with what her mother was saying, but still feeling like there was so much more to it. Not that it mattered, since there was nothing she could do about it even if she ended up figuring out the mess her heart and brain seemed to be cluttered with.

"We should get some sleep. I'm going to take a bath," Snow decided when it seemed like there was nothing left for either to say.

"I'll take one before we leave tomorrow. I'm pretty tired."

"You stay here in my old room. I'll stay in my father's."

"Okay," Emma glanced at the door in front of her, then, back at Snow. "And thanks."

"Of course. If you need anything-"

"My mom is right down the hall. Got it."

Snow left Emma, as her hand drifted to open the door. She paused until she heard another door shut further down the long corridor and knew her mother had gone inside the other room. Emma sighed and found herself unable to enter the room in front of her. There was too much on her mind for sleep. She turned away and headed back in the direction they had come from.

It wasn't long before she was entering Regina's chambers again. It was still so strange and mind-boggling to Emma how the magic she had performed with Mr. Gold and the fairies had restored everything to exactly the way it had been before the destruction the curse had caused. The furniture, trinkets, and fireplace that Emma used her magic to light, had her stunned by how perfect and in place they seemed. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought the curse had been a shared nightmare throughout the land.

Her hand came to rest on a knob to a large wardrobe and Emma opened it to find dresses made from rich material and decorated with sequins and jewels. Emma had discovered Regina had brought them to Storybrooke and knew that they remained in the mausoleum there, but somehow magic had found a way to duplicate them.

She ran a hand over them, feeling soft velvet, smooth leather, and slippery silk. Each garment was unique and made to fit Regina, whose essence she sensed in each one. For a moment, she tried to imagine Regina in them: the material tight around her hips; her stomach forced to be sucked in at all times; the plunging necklines that intentionally displayed the way her breasts would be purposely lifted and accentuated. Some were open at the back, the material eventually coming together as it lowered to the waist. Emma couldn't help but stifle an amused laugh at how revealing some of these dresses were, when the mayor of Storybrooke had almost always been dressed in suits. Maybe the blouses and pencil skirts were tight, but any lower necklines or buttons that remained open to reveal a little skin, had been prim and proper compared to these.

She ran her hand over a blue velvet one once more, wishing to feel Regina's warm body beneath it, but it hung limp and cold, as it moved with her touch. She closed the doors to the wardrobe and allowed her eyes to drift over the room again.

It must have been her solace; her only place to just be Regina, if she ever shed her Evil Queen persona. Emma thought back to the conversation she had had with Snow and the thoughts that rose in her mind during it. She could almost see a relieved Regina asleep, after being summoned to her husband's chambers that night. The thought made her stomach clench, and Emma had to force the mental image away.

It had been different here back then. She was told many times how common arranged marriages between royals were. Even her father had almost taken part in one. But not having grown up where such a thing was the norm, Emma couldn't even begin to process what it must have been like. Marrying someone and not having any say over the matter seemed cruel and horrible. Especially, when there was obviously a great age difference. Emma also had an idea of how loveless the marriage must have been if Regina had resorted to murder.

She climbed onto the bed she had instinctually wandered over to and curled up; hugging the pillow she rested some of her head on.

"I'm sorry," She breathed into it, and when she inhaled against the soft fabric, she was amazed that the familiar, soothing sent of Regina filled her senses.

All Emma could think of was how they shouldn't have left her alone in Storybrooke. Her stomach twisted at the feeling of loss and the thought that she'd never see her again. Then, the nervous butterflies filled it, as she tried to figure out when caring for Regina had first seemed appealing. She grunted unhappily when she couldn't come up with an exact moment. It seemed like she was always being pulled toward the other woman and at some point she stopped minding it as much. There had come a moment when she didn't think twice about pushing Regina out of the wraith's path, or realizing the feeling of relief when Henry begged them to return to the mines to try to save his other mom.

Maybe when it happened wasn't even worth figuring out. Maybe just accepting that it had happened and that there was nothing she could do about it now, should be enough and she should just let it all go.

Emma closed her eyes, expecting to be welcomed into a troubled sleep filled with lots of tossing and turning, but instead, she found the deepest, most refreshing sleep in the darkness beneath her eyelids. Immediately, she had sunken into the best sleep she'd had, since leaving Storybrooke. Perhaps, it had to do with the brunette who had an arm wrapped around her, while they sat on a bench and watched Henry swinging higher and higher at some playground that sleep had used Emma's mind to invent.

"We can do this," Regina spoke from beside her and lowered her head to Emma's arm, nestling against her.

For the first time in the two months since she'd left Storybrooke, Emma felt complete. Too bad it was only a dream.


	2. I Won't Say I'm in Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer in Chapter 1.

**Chapter 2: I Won't Say I'm In Love**

Emma tossed her body to the right. Barely a minute later, she flung herself onto her back. A beat passed, and she was turning onto her left side again. A hand slid beneath the pillow that had gone from too puffy for Emma's liking, to feeling flatter than a pancake, so she used the arm that slipped under it to bunch it up. An exasperated sigh rushed from her mouth and blew onto the cotton-material that met the side of her head. Her eyes burned with tiredness as they adjusted to the moonlight beaming directly through the darkness in a steady stream from the large window across the room. And for the fourth hour since she'd climbed under the giant quilt that covered her bed, Emma wasn't falling asleep for beans.

Everything felt uncomfortable, empty, achy, and sick. Tears that had stopped trickling down her cheeks two hours ago, still remained in the light salty taste in her mouth and the itchy stains on her cheeks. Dreams that had woken her night after night haunted her, while the horrible day she'd had, replayed over and over again in her head. There would be no solace or relief for her this night, just as there hadn't been any other night, aside from the rare miracle of restful sleep she'd experienced a month and a half ago at Regina's former castle.

An uncontrollable groan that weakened to a sob rose from her throat, and Emma buried her head further into the covered pillow of soft feathers. She needed to leave. She needed to run.

But there was Henry filling her mind...and her parents and Red and Neal and Ella and Jiminy--so many people appearing in her head and reminding her she would be missed just as much as she would miss them. Emma knew she couldn't go; not forever. Yet, what she was going through wasn't healthy. And now it was beginning to not only affect her, but those around her.

Admittedly, it had been just a little exciting at first: the return to the Enchanted Forest. They had used the magic beans, jumped through their individual portals, and ended up in the mostly destroyed fairy tale world. No matter how hopeless the barren world looked around them, Emma could sense the resilience and determination coming from beneath it. In a way, it felt like the land around her was aware she could restore it and bring life pulsing back through it. The spirit of the world had flowed through her, letting her know it was more than ready to be reborn. A new future was waiting to begin.

That fortitude and strength that connected with her, had Emma believing that she, too, was ready for this new life. It had her ready to endure whatever initial battles she and the others would face, but also, left her longing to find out what this world would bring her and what she would add to it. All of that made leaving Storybrooke--leaving Regina, temporarily bearable. Unfortunately, the hope and belief in a bright future for her and her family gradually weakened, no matter how determinedly she tried to hold onto it.

The first week had been a struggle. Rumpelstiltskin—trying to be a better person, mostly because of Belle and his late son's memory—had worked with Emma. They'd used their combined magic to restore what had been damaged by the curse. What they couldn't do, the fairy dust that they had mined by the end of that first week, did. Then, everything was back to what it once was, but with some modern conveniences, such as, refrigerators and indoor plumbing, which had been incorporated into the magical remodeling to make living a little easier. Emma and Henry were especially thankful for these, since they'd never lived in a world without them.

But after nearly two months since the successful war against the ogres had occurred, during which Emma's time had been filled with princess lessons, sword fighting, Mulan showing up at the castle with a believed-to-be-dead Neal, magic lessons taught by Rumpelstiltskin and supervised by the Blue Fairy, and two celebratory balls where she had danced (less than gracefully) with people her parents called  _suitors_ , Emma was overwhelmed, exhausted and close to miserable. And on top of that, she felt lost. The second ball that had been held earlier that night, had finally pushed her to the point where all she wanted was to get away.

_Emma had danced with so many different men that she regretted not having brought a bottle or ten of Purell back to the Enchanted Forest with her. By the time she was in the arms of some duke, who introduced himself as Teddy, Emma's feet were tingling uncomfortably and she thought the poor guy was going to end up having to hold her up, while they finished gliding around the room._

_They spoke briefly about Henry, who was watching them intently from across the dance floor, just as he had watched his mom dance with every other eligible bachelor. Every time she switched partners he'd given her a thumbs up or a thumbs down, letting her know whether any of the men received her son's approval and were worth a second dance. Unfortunately, downward facing thumbs seemed to be Henry's gesture of choice for most of the night, which resulted in Emma's becoming the eye-roll._

_Teddy brought Emma's attention back to himself by saying he remembered how unhappy the boy had been when he'd seen him at Granny's with Regina, a few days before Emma had arrived in Storybrooke._

_"Yeah, that was a tough time for him," Emma commented vaguely, being polite and trying to make conversation, even though, Teddy sounded like he was about to butt in to something that was none of his business._

_"It's good that he's free of her now. That witch didn't deserve to return to this land, and she certainly didn't deserve a loving family. Not that the boy could actually lo-"_

_Without any thought whatsoever about the way her hand clenched into a fist and rose up, shooting through the space between their bodies, Emma felt the buzzing sting in her skin and bones, as her knuckles connected forcefully with Teddy's nose. The angry heat that had shot throughout her body during Teddy's opinionated speech disappeared through the punch, and Emma sobered immediately at the sight of the blood rushing from his nose._ _Her other hand flew to her mouth in shock. The music the orchestra had been playing came to a screechy stop, and Emma could sense hundreds of eyes staring at them. The next thing she knew, Snow's strong arm was pulling her away from Teddy, while David and Neal made sure that the d_ _uke wasn't seriously injured and wouldn't try to go after Emma._

_"She's crazy!" Emma heard Teddy gasp out from across the room, his voice sounding odd from his inability to breathe properly through his gushing nose. "Defending the Evil Queen! We should have executed the bitch when we had the chance!"_

_Emma tensed in her mother's arms, and it took most of Snow's strength to keep her daughter from spinning around and going over to finish the job of breaking Teddy's nose. When they had made their way out of the ballroom, down one corridor of the palace, and had then turned down another, Snow stopped them._

_"What the hell was that?" The dark-haired woman forced Emma to meet her eyes._

_"I don't want to talk about it," Emma mumbled uneasily, still not completely believing she'd done what she'd done._

_"We'll be lucky if the duke lets it go and doesn't press charges. Have you forgotten actions like that come with consequences? At this rate, you'll be lucky if he drops the whole thing," Snow finished her reprimanding with a stern look, before her eyes softened and she teased a little more lightly, "And I'm guessing it'll be a while before anyone offers to dance with you again."_

_"Maybe I don't want to dance with anyone!" Emma snapped, seeing the hurt that flashed across Snow's face. Her green eyes winced closed, and her face became contorted with regret and shame at the tone she had directed at her mother. "I'm sorry. I know…I know you just want me to be happy and want me to find someone I can be happy with."_

_"As much as I want that for you, I don't want to force you to be with someone you don't actually want to be with. It's still your life, Emma."_

_"I'm a mom. It's not just my life. Nothing about this has been just about me," Emma exhaled shakily. "If it was…"_

_Snow took her hand. "Henry has you and Neal. Don't pressure yourself into a relationship just because you're worried he needs more than that. He doesn't. And I'm so sorry you're not happy."_

_"It's not that I'm not happy. I have you, David, Henry, our friends…things don't completely suck," Emma attempted the slightest bit of a crooked smile, letting her mother know her words were mostly true, even if she wasn't fully content with her life._

_"And yet, your smile rarely reaches your eyes, there's a sadness and regret every time you think no one sees you looking at Henry, and then, tonight a man says something you don't like about Regina and you're punching him in the face. Tell me why that is."_

_"He deserved that," Emma grunted unapologetically, not elaborating on her actions._

" _Uh-huh. So, it was just because he was rude? It had nothing to do with whatever reason I found you curled up in Regina's old bed the morning after we spent the night at Regina's castle?"_

_Snow stared at her knowingly and Emma felt self-conscious under the penetrating look. "Is this going to cause a problem for you and David? I mean your kingdom's not going to become socially black-listed or something because I overreacted?"_

_Snow sighed in defeat at Emma's avoidance of Regina's being mentioned, and ran a hand comfortingly over the blonde curls of Emma's hair. "No, it shouldn't. You're not the first person who hasn't appreciated the duke's blunt way of stating his opinions. But I wouldn't advise punching anyone else. A man with injured pride isn't someone I care to deal with."_

_Surprisingly, a short laugh escaped Emma. "Noted. Don't worry, next time I'll try to control my fist better."_

_"You should probably go wash your face with some cold water," Snow motioned to a door down the hall._

_"Yeah, thanks," Emma smiled and lifted a hand to feel that her cheeks were still warm and, no doubt, flushed from emotion. "I think I'm just going to go back to my room after that. I'm not in the mood for more dancing and socializing."_

_"Understandable," Snow sent her a small smile back and kissed her cheek, before stepping away. "I'll be in my room in about an hour if you need to talk."_

_Emma nodded. "Do you think David would mind tucking Henry in?"_

_"No, I'll help him."_

_"Thank you," Emma said gratefully and made her way to the bathroom._

_She entered the large room that her mother insisted she put multiple stalls in, since this would be the bathroom on the main floor of the palace and most convenient for guests to use during festivities._

_The reflection Emma's eyes met in the large mirror over the sink looked almost unrecognizable to her. In the relatively bright glow of the oil lamps hanging in different places on the pale walls and ceiling, she studied the layers of make-up covering her face. That afternoon, Emma had tried to hide everything from the sickly pale shade her skin had become, to the puffy bags and dark circles under her eyes. It amazed her that her face was so flushed now, she could see the red tinges of anger and sadness creeping out from beneath the tons of foundation and concealer. Dark mascara, she noticed, had also found a way to mix and smudge with her eyeliner, so when she took in the way it looked with the deep shade of red lipstick she wore, she thought she had caught sight of a crying clown._

_In other words, she looked as tired, emotional and pathetic as she had been feeling lately._

_Her hand twisted the cold water on and Emma allowed it to run for a few seconds, before lowering her hands to cup the rush of liquid that chilled them. The coldness stung her face as it splashed against her skin, and her hands moved roughly over her cheeks, eyes, and lips. Black, red, and pale beige tones all washed into the sink and swirled down the drain. Emma splashed more water onto her face and rubbed over and over again, until the mask that had covered her was erased. Then, she dipped her hands under the brass faucet one last time._

_"Nice right hook you've got there, Princess," The flirtatious voice behind her made Emma jump, and the water rising in her hands splattered all over the area around the off-white sink. "Sorry, I thought you heard me come in."_

_Emma's eyes lifted to the mirror in front of her and her vision locked with that of the woman standing near the door, who was wearing a long dress that was more purple than it was pink. The eyes that stared into hers looked almost violet, and Emma wondered if it was the lighting or if they really were such a rare color. The emotion behind them was gentle and playful, yet Emma perceived a fierceness to them._

_"No," Emma told her quietly. "I was kind of caught up in my own thoughts."_

_"About Duke Theodore, I'm assuming. Or maybe banished evil queens that dukes shout angrily about because they know they can't hold a candle to them," The woman stepped toward her confidently, a light smirk twisting her lips. Emma watched as she brushed the long, reddish-brown waves of her hair back over her shoulder. There was a chuckle when Emma didn't respond, her lips parted like she was a kid who had just been caught red-handed sneaking cookies from the cookie jar. "That's alright, I've always been good at denying my feelings, too. I'm Meg."_

_A part of Emma wanted to feel threatened by how easily this stranger had read her, but there was something about the fair-skinned woman with the high cheeks that she found alluring._

_"Emma," She attempted to return the smile._

After that, everything happened in a barely memorable rush. Meg had stayed beside Emma to fix her own make-up in the mirror, while she listened to Emma rant about Teddy and a few of the other men she'd danced with. While she was rambling on about everything from her dance partners to her parents to Regina, Emma hadn't even been sure why she was finding it easy to tell the other woman everything. But soon, Meg had begun venting her own problems.

She had told Emma about her "Hercules of a boyfriend", who had claimed he knew she could deal with her own problems and didn't need anyone to save her, but a few weeks ago he'd become so controlling and protective that Meg had ended things with him. According to her rant, she was done with men for good. Then, she was saying how women were more attractive anyway, and usually, made a relationship worth the effort that was put into it.

It wasn't until now, when Emma was alone in her bed and trying (but failing) to fall asleep, that it hit her that Meg had meant she'd literally dated Hercules. The blonde had been lying in the darkness an hour ago, trying to forget about what had happened between herself and the other woman, when she had randomly realized who Meg was. The Disney movie that she'd watched back in the late nineties while babysitting her foster siblings at the time, popped into her head and she remembered the sassy, witty, tough Megara, who'd fallen for Hercules. Her eyes squinted shut and she pinched her nose, feeling her head whirl at the fact that she'd almost allowed  _that_ Meg to go way past first base with her. Luckily, Emma's mind had caught on to what was happening in time for her to push the brunette away and apologize for having led her on.

Now, all Emma wanted was to make the knot in her stomach disappear when she thought about the way Meg had pushed her up against the bathroom door and kissed her. She wanted to forget the way she had deepened the kiss, while simultaneously turning the lock on the door behind her. She wanted to push away all thoughts of how fingers had tangled into hair and how hands had managed to send dresses hiking up legs. She just wanted to forget all of it: the first woman she had kissed in years…Hell, the first person she'd kissed since Graham; the irrational guilt flooding her that she didn't understand; and the insanity of whom she actually caught herself thinking of midway through the heated make-out session.

She couldn't remember the excuses she had uttered afterward, but Meg had assured her that she understood. There was even respect in her voice when she commended Emma for not just letting them both take advantage of some convenient rebound sex. Although, at that, Emma had insisted there was no one she was rebounding from. Then, the next thing Emma had known, Meg was saying how Regina was a lucky woman to have someone who felt so deeply for her, and she had closed the bathroom door behind her, leaving the blonde to slide down the tiled wall, her head falling into her hands.

What the hell had she been thinking (or not thinking)? If she was feeling guilty and regretful now from some kissing and touching, she couldn't imagine how dirty she would have felt if they had gone further than that. She was too exhausted and her emotions were currently too raw for there to be much logic in anything she did. Especially, wanting to be kissing Regina when she had been kissing Meg. That was unacceptable and wrong. It wasn't who she was or wanted to be.

Ugh! All of it had brought Emma back to the conclusion that she needed a vacation. Except, in the Enchanted Forest there weren't many—if any—places she could run off to. There were no tropical islands; no Disneyland or World; no big cities filled with skyscrapers and things to do. She got out of the bed she had collapsed in and started pacing. There had to be some way out for just a little while.

That was what she had been acting on when Meg had initiated the kiss. Emma had found her caring, attractive, and surprisingly easy to talk to, and it had her craving something that didn't feel complicated or out of reach. For a minute, there had been no loss or inexplicable loneliness. Plus, she could tell Meg was far from the few insufferable pigs she had danced with and was more than a man hoping to inherit a kingdom. That's why she couldn't believe Regina had broken into her thoughts and consumed her. Clearly, there was some unrelenting unfinished business she had with Regina, who had probably pressed on with her life like the strong, adapting woman she was. She'd plowed through darkness and had always found ways to survive.

Emma could picture her currently sitting behind her desk as Mayor of Storybrooke, shrugging off any regret or unresolved feelings she might have; moving on the same way she'd expected Henry and Emma to, so that she could continue to bring success and accomplishment to the town around her, and through it, to herself. Emma almost envied her for it. Wishing she could manage to let go of the woman she was never going to see again. It aggravated her that even from another realm Regina was invading her thoughts, messing with her brain, and infuriating Emma with the way she was disrupting her life and chances at a happy ending. As unintentional as it obviously was on Regina's part, she was driving Emma crazy to the point where she was finding it hard to decide whether she missed her, was furious with her, wanted to strangle her, or wanted to kiss her. And it made her wonder if she had crossed Regina's mind at all since she'd left her in the other land that had once been her home, too. Yet, whenever she remembered the warmth and tears that shone in brown eyes as Regina reluctantly pulled away from her the night before they'd left, something stirred in Emma, giving her her answer.

With a few petty stomps, Emma went to swiftly lift up the soft mattress stuffed with way too many feathers. Beneath it, in the corner, there was the small pouch she had hidden there weeks ago. Inside, she had secretly stored her three magic beans for safe keeping. She stared at the two from Regina and the other that her parents had ended up giving to her in case of emergency.

Their soft, magical glow mesmerized her, and she felt the strong temptation to employ them as her means of escape. The problem was that even if she used one to open a portal, she'd have to eventually use another to get back from wherever she went, and then, she'd only be left with one bean. However, her mind reminded her that one was enough in the event of a random catastrophe where she'd have to grab Henry and leave the magical realm.

She stared down at the enchanted beans, considering if she really should waste them. It would be her only chance, and what would happen if she felt this suffocating feeling again a month or two from now? But she desperately needed a change of scenery; something different. It wasn't even that she wanted to go somewhere more exciting. Emma just needed space and time to convince herself that she'd made the right choice in following her parents back to their home, instead of keeping Henry with her in Storybrooke. This wouldn't be the type of running away she was a pro at, but more of a temporary escape to get her heart and head back to where they needed to be, if that was possible. Sleepless nights due to dreams where Regina was taken away or killed weren't working for her anymore, and neither were the feelings of unhappiness and regret swirling through her.

Being the brilliant person that she was, it suddenly struck Emma that the best way to make any of this better would be to pay a visit to Storybrooke. That would prove to her it was all in her head and she had only built up an ideal memory of it in her mind. She'd show herself that there was nothing to miss there. Seeing Regina might also help to quell her growing feelings for the woman and would aid in convincing her that their escalation was the result of some kind of homesickness. That reality was painted a lot differently than what her mind convinced her to see. Or at least those were the reasons she used to effectively persuade herself, before she could tuck the pouch and the magic beans back under her bed.

Gathering her sword, a brown leather bag with some necessities, and her cloak, she moved down the hall, stopping by the door to Henry's room. It had crossed her mind to inquire if he wanted to come along, but Emma realized there were many reasons she needed to go back alone. The one that really decided it for her was reuniting a mother and son, only to have to force them to part again. She couldn't cause Regina and Henry that kind of heartbreak a second time.

She pushed the door open and quickly peered in, then, reached over to leave a folded note on the nightstand beside the bed Henry was fast asleep in. She'd written that she'd be back within the next week and that he should behave for his grandparents. An afterthought had also been scribbled on the bottom of the paper, telling Snow and David not to worry; that she was traveling to somewhere safe and would be back within a week. Making her way over to the bed, she gently stroked Henry's hair with a soft smile that had emotion gathering in her throat and behind her eyes.

Then, she sneaked out of the castle and left the grounds, finding her way into the forest. With little hesitation, once she felt she had traveled far enough through the trees, Emma dropped a bean and watched the ground come to life, swirling and waiting for her to enter the abyss it had opened. She swallowed, before leaping into it, and it closed over her as she fell and floated and crashed onto a softer surface than the dirt or concrete she'd expected.

A startled cry filled Emma's ears, before she opened her eyes and took in her surroundings, seeing a familiar face glaring down at her.

"Miss Swan, what the hell are you doing here?" Regina growled.

No matter how intimidating it was supposed to be, the familiar tone and the woman behind it had a warm feeling tingling throughout Emma. That, and immediately realizing how good it felt to be back—like she was finally where she belonged and could breathe easily again—had one thing rushing through her head:  _This was where she wanted to be and that meant she was screwed for so many reasons._

Now, what was she going to do?


	3. Something There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer in Chapter 1.

**Chapter 3: Something There**

"I made it," Emma breathed out, groaning as the soreness that came from falling to the floor hit her. Blinking a few times, she noticed something black being whipped through the air above her and realized Regina had hastily reached for the satin robe on the bed above where Emma's head was lying. The garment was thrown on with a swift gracefulness, but not before Emma noticed the silky pearl-colored nightgown Regina was wearing that fell to a few inches above her knees and was thin enough not to leave much to the imagination.

Leaving her entertained by the modest action, a smile found its way onto Emma's lips as she carefully sat up and met the eyes of the woman standing near her. It amused Emma how easily Regina recovered from her unexpected arrival and how her first thought wasn't to ask if she was okay or to stare at her dumbfounded, but to cover herself up and appear somewhat decent.

"You look good," The blonde commented sincerely, not thinking twice about making the compliment as her eyes swept over Regina, before returning to the bewildered but mostly annoyed brown ones that were watching her.

Regina's dark hair seemed slightly longer than when Emma had left and she wasn't wearing any makeup, which was not an image the blonde was familiar with. In a way, she found herself appreciating the way the other woman looked now, more so, than the image of Regina that was imprinted in her mind with deep shades of lipstick, eyeliner, mascara and everything else. Not that Regina didn't look beautiful wearing the makeup that enhanced her features, but she was somehow even more breathtaking without it. There was a softness to her, and Emma found herself admiring the natural glow of her skin, the natural warmth of her eyes (no matter how threatening they appeared), and the flush that shaded her cheeks just enough to be endearing.

"Don't think any of your compliments are going to work on me, Emma Swan," Regina scolded, forcing the other woman out of whatever thoughts had her eyeing Regina with a reverent look that was such a mix of admiration and tenderness, it both flattered the brunette and made her feel self-conscious. It also had her heartbeat quickening and a nervous flutter growing in her stomach that she tried not to think about. "There aren't that many people in this town and only five of them would ever pay me a visit. I'm not used to guests, especially uninvited ones falling into my bedroom via a portal at eleven thirty at night. You almost gave me a heart attack!"

No matter how glad she was to see Regina, Emma had the decency to look up at her sheepishly, feeling caught between embarrassment and guilt at not only landing in Regina's bedroom, but scaring her as well. "Sorry. I didn't mean to just literally drop in. I figured I'd arrive in the woods or something."

Regina sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, softening slightly at the apology, while not completely letting her guard down. "Why are you here, Emma? I thought you said there was no way you could ever come back. Besides, shouldn't you be fulfilling your duties as a princess and helping your parents take care of their kingdom?"

"Probably," Emma muttered, slipping the backpack off her arms and removing the sword from around her waist. When she was done, she pulled herself up from the floor and took a more comfortable seat on the foot of Regina's bed, which earned her a displeased look from the brunette. Yet, Regina didn't reprimand her.

"Then,  _why_ are you here?"

The way Regina stood over Emma and stared down at her should have been intimidating, but both women knew it had lost its effect on the blonde. It had, instead, become a way to let Emma know she really wasn't backing down and genuinely wanted to be let in.

"I needed a break," Emma admitted with her own amount of brusqueness, not wanting to go into detail.

"You're unhappy there already?" Regina lifted an eyebrow, yet looked more disappointed than anything else.

For the first time, she really looked at Emma and noticed the gray skin beneath her eyes, as it drooped toward the white flesh above her cheekbones, which was much lighter than the color that had been in Emma's cheeks when she had left Storybrooke. The way her shoulders hung and the lack of the fighting spirit that had always been evident in Emma, had lines of worry making their way onto Regina's face, and her lips remained in a serious line.

Instead of allowing the painful concern she felt at seeing Emma so hopeless and drained make itself completely known, Regina rolled her eyes. "This is why your parents should have planned their return to that land more carefully. It was foolish to think that you would be comfortable and content there in the long term."

Emma rolled her own eyes in reply. "Do you always have to criticize every mistake they make? Maybe I just need more time to adjust."

Regina snorted, but without any amusement. "So, your idea to help with your adjustment was to use a magic bean-that I gave you to use in an  _emergency_ —to pay a visit to the world you chose to leave?"

Hearing the same argument she had used to confront herself when considering how smart it would be to use the beans, left her feeling even more foolish now that it had been spoken by Regina. "I know it was probably dumb to use the bean bu-" Emma cut herself off, suddenly processing more of what the other woman had said. "Wait, how did you know I used the bean?"

Regina scoffed, "Really dear, how else would you have come through a portal? And now, you'll have to use another one to get back. How many will you have after that?" Regina admonished. Her irritation at Emma's careless and rash decision to use the bean was easy to hear, and even more apparent, when the blonde met her eyes.

"One."

Regina opened her mouth to scold her, but Emma continued defensively, not appreciating how the other woman was treating her like she hadn't thought the decision over at all. She should have known Regina would react this way. Not that she really blamed her. Maybe it had been too impulsive and negligent, but there was no way to change it now even if she wanted to.

"One is enough for Henry and me to get away if we ever have to."

"Perhaps," Regina let out an exasperated breath, taking comfort in the fact that there would still be a magic bean left to protect her son if needed. There was also the reassuring tone Emma used that let Regina know she had considered their son's safety. Not to mention, the hint of doubt in her voice that had been quickly replaced by something more confident when she defended herself, which told the other woman that even after thinking it over again, Emma still would have made the same choice. Regina wasn't happy, but she could tell there was no reason to continue verbally beating Emma up over it. "It was still selfish and not one of your smartest ideas."

Emma sensed Regina's resignation and could tell she was done reprimanding, after taking in what Emma had said. A smug smile easily appeared on the blonde's lips, "Didn't know you thought any of my ideas were smart."

"Forgive me, I meant to say that it was just as illogical and impulsive as everything else you do."

Emma gave a short laugh. "Too late. Now, I know you don't mean it."

"I mean everything I say," Regina returned matter-of-factly, her back still straight, as she gazed down at Emma.

"Fine, then answer this question: are  _you_  happy?"

"How can I be happy when you walked on my carpet with your dirty boots and you're sitting on my bed with a cloak that looks like it was dragged through the woods," Regina jeered without missing a beat, and her hand motioned from Emma to the sullied floor.

Emma moved to unbutton the clasp near her neck and pulled the cape she was wearing off of her. With a sweep of her hand, she then made her boots, sword, backpack, and the cloak disappear, while any traces of dirt sitting on the carpet became nonexistent.

"I sent them to the closet downstairs," She explained to Regina, who looked satisfied and taken aback by the use of magic. "Sorry for the mess. Now, please, answer my question. Honestly."

"You seem to have a better grasp of your magic," Regina acknowledged and it was easy to hear the respect and hint of praise in her voice.

Pride lit up Emma's eyes as she accepted the words for the compliment they were. "Lots of practicing, lately. Rumpelstiltskin and the Blue Fairy have been pretty good teachers."

"They're the ones giving you magic lessons?"

Emma tried to read the sharp conflict in Regina's eyes but couldn't tell if it was fear and worry she saw in the deep brown pools, or disapproval and abhorrence at who her instructors were.

"Rumpelstiltskin and I worked together to rebuild the Enchanted Forest and Blue is one of the most powerful fairies. They both know a lot and she makes sure he doesn't teach me anything dark," Emma tried to explain, but Regina didn't seem satisfied by what she'd said. That probably bothered Emma more than it should have, yet it annoyed her that Regina felt she was allowed to have an opinion in this case, even if she meant well.

"Who else was going to teach me, Regina? By now, I know those two well enough to read them, so I can tell when I can trust them. There's no one else I feel even remotely comfortable with trying to help me understand and use my powers. I mean, it's not like you're there to help!"

The argument sounded a lot harsher than Emma had intended, and she could tell immediately from the brief flash of pain she'd glimpsed in Regina's eyes that it had stung her. "Regina, I didn't mean for it to come out that way."

"You're angry with me."

It was clear to Regina that Emma had not forgiven her for not going back to the Enchanted Forest with them. She hadn't expected her to completely understand, but she also hadn't considered how much the blonde really cared for her. The realization that Emma had come to trust, depend on, and needed her there felt more troubling to Regina than flattering, and left her heart overwhelmed by the truth. They were supposed to have moved on, not longed for each other every day.

"No, I-" Emma began to object, but didn't have it in her to lie. Not when she had come all this way to find and accept the truths about her—their situation. "Fine. I can't help that I'm still kind of angry. We'd become a sort of team…partners, you know? Unexpected and not exactly normal partners, but we worked together and started compromising. We saved Storybrooke and we started rocking the co-parenting thing. Then, you were telling me to go."

"Because it was what was best for you and Henry," Regina reminded, needing to reinforce why she had put an end to what had begun to develop between them, for herself, as much as Emma. She had known letting Henry go would be unbearable, but letting Emma go had been just as difficult. At the time, Regina wasn't surprised by the loss or heartache she experienced for both of them, considering how aware she was of what she had begun to feel for Emma and could see in the other woman's eyes. Yet, now that Emma was sitting in her room again, she was determined to push all of it away. There was no way she would go through that again when Emma inevitably returned to the Enchanted Forest.

"I know," Emma nodded somewhat somberly. "I guess I was just happy we were finally working together. I wasn't thinking it wouldn't always be what was best for Henry. Which reminds me, you still haven't told me whether or not you're happy."

A sigh came from Regina and she moved to sit adjacent to Emma on the bed. "A world with modern technology and conveniences, the town I built continuing to thrive, only a handful of people who know my past, no one who wants to lock me in jail or demands my execution, limited magic that only I…and apparently, you, can tap into when we want, and no idiots ruining my life…why wouldn't I be happy?"

"Seriously? That sounds nice and everything, but that's supposed to make me believe you're happy?"

Regina let out a frustrated breath. Emma was able to read her too well. If she was that unconvinced by something that held a glimmer of truth, anything but complete honesty would make their conversations a struggle for Regina.

"I made a choice just as you did, and I still stand by my belief that it was the best one for all of us under the circumstances."

"But see, that's the thing, the more I think about it, the more I don't think it was."

"So, you've had a lot of time to think?" Emma could just about make out the smirk on Regina's lips. "That world must be more boring than I remember it."

"Hey, I spent a lot of time riding a horse from one ogre battle to another. Not to mention, the long journey home from the final one. My ass was sore for days after that!" Emma complained, her head falling back onto the middle of the bed.

Regina had the urge to ridicule Emma by mentioning how there were some things she really didn't need to know about the other woman, but when the blonde spoke again, any possibilities for mocking or taunting died on Regina's lips.

"Way too much time to think," Emma breathed sadly in answer to Regina's question.

Regina felt her throat tighten and her lips tug downward, sensing there was something more Emma wanted to say but was holding back. She waited to see if Emma would reveal anything else, but she just laid there, blonde hair pressed between her back and the mattress, as she stared intently at the ceiling.

"Everything was restored then, as your parents and Gold planned?" Regina's voice quivered during the question, but she decided not to press Emma about what exactly it was that she had thought about. Plus, she was also genuinely interested in what had occurred in the other land, since everyone's departure.

Emma cleared her throat and managed a small smile, twisting her head in Regina's direction. "Yeah, between my magic, Rumpelstiltskin's and some fairy dust, everything is back to what it was with some necessary conveniences from here added in. Snow says everything looks just like it did before the war and the curse."

"And Henry?" Regina couldn't stop herself from asking and Emma's smile grew, her green eyes staring into Regina's knowingly, as if she had been waiting for that particular question since she arrived in the room. "He likes it there?"

"Henry's great. He's adjusting and acting like the Enchanted Forest is everything he'd hoped it would be," Emma's grin came to match the one on Regina's face and she felt the warmth flood her heart that she was, once again, able to share the same motherly pride and emotions with someone she knew more than understood. "He's been attending his lessons and practices his sword-fighting every day. Oh, and he loves horseback riding. Can't imagine who he gets that from," Emma smirked, catching Regina's eyes.

"I miss him."

Regina felt the hot tears in her eyes, yet still struggled to bring them away from Emma's, to stare down at her lap.

Emma found herself rolling onto her side and reaching out to cover one of Regina's hands with hers. There was a bit of hesitation in the touch at first, but Emma became more confident when she felt Regina's hand soften beneath hers, accepting the comfort, instead of becoming tense and pulling away. "I can tell he misses you, too."

Regina turned a bit to her left to look at Emma with her teary eyes. "Does he—does he ever mention me?"

The way Regina's chin trembled with the question had Emma sitting up and scooting over to sit beside her, so their legs were only inches apart. "Of course! At least a couple times a day. It's usually him telling me about why something reminds him of you or the infamous:  _But mom used to do it this way._  He tries not to look it, but I can tell it's hard for him to think of you without wishing you were with us. Like I said, he misses you, too."

Regina suddenly stood up clearing her throat, her hand slipping away from Emma's. The blonde noticed how she lifted it to swipe at her cheek, then, exhaled heavily, before turning around to face her. "Well, I suppose you'll be staying the night. It's late for you to go walking across town to the inn. You're welcome to stay in my guest room."

"That…" Emma began her confused reply, frowning at Regina's being quick to change the subject, but ended up deciding not to force her to say anything more about Henry. "That would be nice. If you're sure."

"I see you've acquired some manners," Regina drawled, grateful that Emma went along with the change in conversation.

Emma shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe, but things are different now. I really don't want to be an inconvenience."

"Different in that your son no longer lives here?"

"Different in that I really do care about whether you want me here or not."

Regina studied Emma for a moment, catching the sincerity she had spoken with becoming evident in her eyes. She tried not to feel the way her heart skipped a beat or how the rest of her body tingled with warmth at the growing intensity in Emma's gaze and what she may have actually been asking. Yet, she fought it away almost completely; telling herself there was no way Emma would be staying for longer than a few days. They both had different lives and responsibilities now.

"Stay, Emma. It's what Henry would expect of me."

Emma shook her head. "This isn't about Henry. I want to know if  _you_ are okay with me being here."

The question was back, but Regina wasn't as intimidated by it this time. Sometimes a version of the truth needed to be used in order to keep a person from completely lying and losing what they truly wanted, while protecting their heart as well. It hurt to have Emma there reminding her of what she had given up, but it was the least alone she had felt in three months. Regina couldn't let the blonde leave her house when what she had hoped for (for) weeks was to spend time with her again.

"Of course, I'm okay with you staying here," Regina conceded with a gentle smile. "I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't. Stay as long as you need to."

"Thank you," Emma smiled and stood up from the bed, not detecting any lies or placating coming from Regina. The truth that the other woman wanted her there convinced Emma that she hadn't been the only one in the room feeling lonely and incomplete, lately. "It's probably good you don't mind, since I just remembered I don't exactly have money from this world to pay for a room with."

The shy admittance had Regina's hand covering her mouth, making it obvious she was fighting back a laugh. "How did you think you would pay for food?"

Emma's eyes fell to her hands embarrassed. "I guess I wasn't. Thinking, I mean."

"Clearly."

"Guess I got really lucky ending up in your bedroom."

Regina's eyes widened at the comment, which had Emma realizing the not-so-innocent thing she'd said. Her cheeks became hotter and she felt even more mortified than she had a moment ago. For a second, she considered apologizing or backpedaling, but the darkening of Regina's eyes intoxicated and mesmerized her.

In her trance, she took a few steps closer to Regina, not removing her gaze from the other woman, until she was just inches away from her. Then, emerald eyes flitted down from deep brown to the alluring, unembellished pink lips that looked so soft and delicate. She reached out her thumb and ran it along the bottom one, exploring the smooth, subtle curve. Regina's eyes held hers, while they both took in the intimate sensation that had frozen them; their breaths catching. When Emma's finger began to slide back the other way, however, Regina came out of the spell she had fallen under and took a couple of unsteady steps back from the blonde.

"Do you need anything?" Regina suddenly asked with a slight hitch to her voice, and Emma could see the thousands of emotions still playing in her eyes.

"Umm…"

"Pajamas, toothpaste, toothbrush, a snack?" The list came tumbling out of Regina's mouth as she tried to recover from the previous tension between them. "Also, feel free to use the shower in the main bathroom. There should be towels in there."

"Regina, I-"

"What?"

There were a million things Emma suddenly wanted to say, but she was still confused about why she was even thinking most of them. And some of the other things she thought of were either too formal or too sentimental—not normal for them at all. The last thing she was aiming to do was cause both of them to cringe inwardly and make everything even more awkward than it already was.

"Thank you for letting me stay. I appreciate it. Really," Emma finally decided on the simple response, which communicated a sincere gratitude, while also leaving something deeper unspoken between them.

Regina gave her a small, but genuine smile, continuing to fight the flush she felt in her cheeks. "To use your words, I don't hate you. Although, that may be unbelievable if one were to look at our history. And, I also know what it's like to want to escape…for a while."

"Is that why you stayed?" Emma wondered, remembering the conversation she had back at Regina's castle with her mother.

"Hmm?"

"You spent so long trying to get away from all of it. Nothing could ever make you want to go back."

"My son is there," Regina said sounding almost disgusted with herself for not being able to follow him.

"Yeah, and so are your castle and those outrageous dresses made just for you," Emma tried to lighten the conversation, but felt herself failing when all she could muster was a sad, pensive smile. "Doesn't stop everything you wanted to leave behind from hitting you again."

Regina shook her head remorsefully, not needing to say whether it was true. Eyes that had embodied a thousand different feelings in the last twenty minutes had become haunted, distressed and broken, speaking the truth for her.

"The past sucks," Emma moved forward and placed an empathetic hand on Regina's arm.

"You must be tired. You should get some sleep, Emma," Regina covered the hand on her arm with her own, connecting them for a brief moment, before gently placing it back at Emma's side.

Accepting Regina's desire to end the conversation for now, Emma followed her to the door, and allowed her to point out the room between the master bedroom and the one that had formerly been Henry's.

"Maybe I'll take a shower first. Baths are nice, but I miss a good old shower."

"Before you left, I thought you said your mother was making indoor plumbing mandatory?"

"Yeah, mostly with toilets," Emma informed, not looking very pleased. "We have showers too, but the wells are smaller there and water pressure can be a bitch when it comes to sinks and showers."

"I see," Regina hummed, leaning against the door she was holding open. "Well then, enjoy your shower and sleep well."

"You too," Emma smiled warmly.

It suddenly hit her again that Regina really was standing close to her, and for the hundredth time since she'd arrived, Emma was having trouble believing that she was actually talking with Regina in her hallway.

Regina started to slowly push the door to her room closed, but Emma interrupted the action. "Oh, about that stuff you offered me before…"

A smirk bloomed on Regina's lips. "I'm assuming you didn't bring much with you?"

"Let's just say, anything extra you have or are okay with me borrowing would be great."

"I'll get some things together and leave them outside the bathroom door."

"On the floor?" Emma wondered, not sure whether she was more shocked because Regina had suggested placing the items on the germy surface, or because she cared even when she knew the brunette had probably been the only one walking around the house.

Either way, Regina noticed how displeased she was at the offer. "Or I could leave them on your bed, but I thought you might want some of them when you get out of the shower."

Emma shrugged, "You could leave them on the counter by the sink."

Something that looked an awful lot like panic crossed Regina's face, and it took everything Emma had to hold back the chuckle that had almost forced its way out of her.

"It's okay, I trust you not to look," Emma smirked. "Just knock once, in case I forget. Neither of us needs me having a  _Psycho_ moment and freaking out."

"I assure you, I'm the only one in this house and I'm above cornering you in the shower with a knife."

"The scary part is you don't have to dress up like your mother, you could just do that shape shift thing and become her."

Regina rolled her eyes at Emma. "As much as I can appreciate your apparent love of Hitchcock movies, it is quite discomforting that you are visualizing a scenario in which I kill you."

Emma laughed. "Good point. And we are so watching at least one Hitchcock movie before I leave!"

"Fine with me," Regina watched Emma walk over to the bathroom and flick the light on. "Or are you one of those people that talk during the entire movie?"

"You'll just have to wait and find out," Emma teased and began to close the bathroom door.

"Just for that, I'm leaving the pajamas and toiletries on the floor," Regina huffed and disappeared behind the door to her room.

Emma mimicked her and shut the bathroom door the rest of the way, leaning back against the hard wood. It really felt so good to be back; right to be back. She ran a hand through the waves of her hair, before grudgingly lifting herself across the room to turn the water on in the shower. Before she could fall back into her thoughts about what coming back to Storybrooke would mean for her, Emma had shed her clothes and stepped into the steam and relaxing spray of the water. Maybe now wasn't the time to deal with any of it and she should just go with the flow. 


	4. Under the Sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer in Chapter 1.

Emma had just lathered her hair with the vanilla shampoo she'd found in the shower, when she heard the light knocking on the door.

"I thought you decided to leave them outside," Emma half-teased, after she heard the door click open and saw a blurred Regina enter the bathroom on the other side of the sliding shower door.

Regina appeared to be concentrating on keeping her eyes averted, focusing fiercely on placing the items she held down on the counter beside the sink.

"I decided to be nice. After all, you are a guest; I should be hospitable," Regina answered loud enough over the running water. She tried hard not to think about the fact that a naked Emma was standing under it on the other side of the door that separated them.

With an amused grunt in response, Emma scrubbed the remaining shampoo out of her hair, before turning to grab the matching bottle of vanilla conditioner. "That's kind of you."

"Yes, I thought so."

Emma could hear the smirk in Regina's voice, yet decided not to continue the banter. Instead, she leaned back into the water again, trying not to reflect too long on Regina's kindness or focus too much on the new image of the naturally beautiful woman that filled her mind, even as she saw the same woman moving around out of the corner of her eye only a few feet away. A part of her—the same part that had reached out earlier to caress Regina's lip—ached to touch her again, so Emma dipped her head further back, allowing the warm water to rain down on her face. It cleared her mind and washed away that strangely new, yet familiar, desire the blonde still was unsure of whether she wanted to act on or understand.

"I brought you an extra toothbrush, some toothpaste, deodorant and lotion, if you want it," The announcement came just as Emma slid her head out from under the shower's spray, taking a refreshing deep breath. "I'm also leaving a brush and a pair of my pajamas. I believe that should last you until we can pick up anything else you may need at the store tomorrow?"

"Sounds good. Thanks," Emma said, using her hands to comb through her hair and rinse away any lingering conditioner. When she didn't hear the door close and glanced over to still find the mostly black, distinct form of Regina through the foggy glass, she added, "You know, you still haven't told me much about what's been going on during the last three months."

"With Storybrooke and its newest citizens?" The question sounded bemused in response to Emma's obvious curiosity and her need to continue the conversation if Regina wasn't leaving.

"Sure, although I'm mostly interested in what Regina Mills has been up to," Emma smiled, and knew it could be heard in the lightness of her voice.

"I'm afraid there are others in this town with far more fascinating and worthy stories," Regina sighed, and Emma saw her rest her hands on the edge of the smooth sink in front of her, bracing herself against whatever dark thoughts and insecurities had entered her mind.

Emma shook her head lightly, even though she knew Regina hadn't looked toward the shower since she had entered the bathroom. "Not to me."

They were silent for a long moment, until Regina's face rose once more to stare directly into the mirror in front of her. "Well, you always have had a certain fixation with me," The words were gently mocking and had a soft chuckle added to the end of them. Emma was about to reply with a witty retort when she saw Regina's head droop again and somehow heard the sad-sounding, almost defeated exhale that left her nose, even with the shower continuing to run. "I wish I could see what you find so interesting about me."

All thoughts of Emma calling Regina out on her own apparent fixation toward the blonde in the past—whether it had been out of distrust and suspicion, or maybe, some unspoken attraction—were immediately wiped from her mind. That dejection and lack of self-worth in Regina's voice was a sound Emma identified too easily and knew too well. Only this time it wasn't her own voice repeating it over and over again in her mind, but Regina's speaking it aloud and allowing herself to become vulnerable in Emma's presence.

"Perhaps, I could understand if you had been reading Henry's book again and found the Evil Queen alluring in some way, but me?" Regina's laugh was short and cold, chilling Emma through the steam of the shower.

For weeks, no matter how successful everything else proved her to be at her job, Regina felt mediocre and ordinary. That extended to her as a woman-a person, and reminded her of when she had first become queen. She dressed the part and did what she needed to, but always waited for someone to tell her she was doing it wrong. Back then she took the criticisms and learned from them, challenging anyone to find a fault in what she did after that. It was the result of being raised by her controlling mother. In Storybrooke, however, she had become her harshest critic and longed to exceed the expectations she had for herself personally and professionally. And all she felt lately was blah and inadequate, no matter how much she tried to rise above those feelings. "All I do is keep a small town in Maine running. All I have been successful at is sending my son away, to grow up in another world, because I knew it was what he wanted and I couldn't make myself go with him. I'm not interesting, Emma, and I'm far from captivating physically or otherwise, because when I look in the mirror…"

There was a heavy intake of air, but Regina didn't continue. Emma was silent, her body now turned so she was staring directly through the glass at the other woman, who had just spun around to lean her back heavily against the sink, her hands rubbing over her face.

The water was beginning to feel cooler against Emma's warmed skin, and she shivered at the contrast, which caused her stomach to sink more but had the lump in the back of her throat lessening. Her eyes burned with the heavy emotion Regina's admittance had caused her to feel, yet no tears escaped to mingle with the trickling beads of water on her face that came from the mist of the shower.

"Em—Emma, I'm sorry," The muffled apology traveled through the thick air in the room, becoming more weighted and strangled when it reached the woman in the shower. Regina kept her eyes focused on the wall in front of her. "I didn't…If you really want to hear about Storybrooke-about me, we can talk tomorrow. It's just, I'm tired tonight."

"I do want to," Emma said lowly, but it held a certain firmness that told Regina she was sincere. "And yeah, it's getting late. So, tomorrow?"

"Alright, then maybe over breakfast or lunch."

"I'd like that," There was a hopefulness and blooming happiness to Emma's words. She saw Regina nod on the other side of the shower door, and became suddenly aware of the even colder water that was hitting the left side of her body and her feet. She reached her hand out to hastily turn off the stream of water falling from above, and hugged herself to keep warm. "Is there any chance I could convince you to bring over the towel that's near you, so I don't have to walk across the room, while trying not to freeze to death?"

"It's really not cold in here," Regina was quick to reply, keeping herself faced forward, so the shower remained only in her peripheral vision.

"You're not wet."

Emma's words were answered by the heavy sound of a towel being tugged off the rack it was on, before the blonde saw Regina standing next to the shower door, her head turned away, while her hand held the towel out to her.

"Here."

Emma slid the door open just enough, so that she could poke her head out and grasp the towel a few inches away. Unsure of what exactly made her do it, she grabbed for the towel and made sure to wrap her hand over Regina's; the fluffy, taupe material becoming trapped beneath both of their hands.

Regina's head whipped around and her eyes flew to Emma's immediately. Emma could see the initial alarm, apprehension, and reproach in the brown eyes that were soon accompanied by self-consciousness. She expected Regina to scold her or pull her hand away, so she was surprised when she saw that the other woman was waiting for her to give her the reason behind what she'd started. It appeared that Regina was also keeping her eyes focused on Emma's more intently than ever, and she wondered if it was to keep them from wandering any lower to try to discover what Emma was hiding on the other side of the glass.

"For the record, your story is worthy. You do matter. And as amazing and distracting as the Evil Queen's wardrobe can be, _this_ Regina is the one who has always impressed, intimidated, and left me in awe," It was easy to hear the honesty and conviction in Emma's words, and the smallest smile managed to form on Regina's lips in reply. As an added assurance and comfort, Emma ran her thumb against the back of Regina's hand and the bumps of her knuckles. There was still the doubt and warring emotions in the brown eyes that remained locked on her own, and all she wanted was to ease them away. The most she achieved, however, was a barely audible sigh from Regina, and her other hand coming up to rest over Emma's, squeezing it gently, before falling away.

"You have no reason to be intimidated any longer," Regina said quietly.

"I think I do," Emma breathed out. Her hand rose shakily from on top of Regina's to settle hesitantly against the other woman's cheek. Their eyes searched each other's for a few moments, attempting to uncover what the other was feeling, while finding the same fear, tenderness and longing that was rushing through them, reflected back at them.

"Not as much reason as I have to be intimidated by you," Regina's face grew warmer under Emma's slightly wet hand, before she shrunk away from the touch. She took a step back and lifted the towel out to Emma again, her brown eyes betraying her as a flimsy wall of tears turned them glassy.

This time Emma reached out for the towel and pulled it into the shower, Regina's hand falling away. "Thanks," Emma whispered, not knowing what else to say when she was overwhelmed by everything whirling through her head, and wanting to respect the space Regina had, once again, put between them.

"Well, I wouldn't want you to suffer because of me," Regina forced a teasing smile, but the double-meaning in her words was clear to both of them. However, any lightness she had initially communicated quickly dissolved, leaving the sting of the underlying truth and its anguish to reach out and prick them. "I never wanted to cause you pain with my decision."

Brown eyes lifted to the ceiling, and Emma thought it was a way for Regina to give her privacy as she wrapped the towel around her body. But once Emma had covered herself and stuck her head out from behind the shower door again, she saw the tears Regina had completely lost her battle against.

She stepped out of the shower, ending up inches away from Regina. Mindful of the space she knew Regina had purposely put between them, Emma gave her a chance to move away if she didn't want to be close to her, but Regina shifted ever so slightly toward the other woman instead, seeking her comfort.

"I know you weren't trying to hurt me. You hurt yourself too," Emma's hands reached out to wrap around Regina's upper arms, soothingly slipping over the black silk of her robe. "You let go of Henry."

Regina nodded, another tear gliding down her cheek, and then another, as she stopped being able to hold herself together. It wasn't long before her hand was reaching up to wipe away the wet, salty stains, though. She sniffled and cleared her throat to help her in regaining her composure, unhappy about the way she had begun to break, even if it was in front of Emma.

"I think I should leave you to change into your pajamas," Regina offered, her red-rimmed eyes falling back to Emma's, after noticeably surveying the goose bumps that were forming on the fair skin where droplets of water continued to linger, since Emma had speedily wrapped the towel around her.

This time, however, Regina wasn't as quick to move out of the other woman's hold. The way Emma's eyes observed her with a brief flash of worry snapping through them, caused Regina to feel the need to assure her. "We'll talk more tomorrow. We both really should sleep. Its been an exhausting day."

"You can say that again," Emma almost laughed, remembering how it had been almost six hours ago that she had collapsed on her bed in her parents' castle, hoping she'd fall asleep. Good thing she had left the ball early, or else she probably would have ended up falling into Regina's room in the wee hours of the morning. "Lucky for you, I bet there were no ball gowns or dances involved in your day."

"No, just piles of boring paperwork for the mayor to go through and a few meetings."

Emma's face scrunched up at that thought, considering which was worse. "Nah, I'd rather do paperwork than dance with conceited dukes who think they know everything."

An eyebrow rose in curiosity, but Regina didn't inquire further about Emma's dance partner or the resentment she conveyed toward him.

A shiver rippled through Emma's body, now that the heat from the shower had mostly disappeared from the room. She noticed how she could easily see their reflections in the no-longer-foggy mirror that faced them.

"See, you're freezing," Regina chastised, and freed herself from Emma's hands to grab the pajamas on the sink. After pushing them into the blonde's chest, which forced Emma to hug the satiny material to herself, Regina turned and headed toward the door. "Goodnight, Emma."

"Goodnight."

Regina smiled warmly, and then, left, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Sunlight attempted to pass through Emma's eyelids when she rolled over into the center of the full-sized bed in Regina's guestroom. She quickly buried her face into the darkness of the pillow under her head, whining about how fast the new day had started and wishing she could just go back to sleep. It wasn't that the thought of being back in Storybrooke didn't give her some motivation to get up, but she'd had so many vivid dreams taking place in both worlds, that Emma felt she'd spent more of her sleep living through the different situations that had sprung to life in her mind, than actually resting. With a groan she rolled back over onto her side and forced her eyes to meet the clock. They widened in shock when she caught the two straight lines followed by the two zeros telling her it was already eleven.

That was when it hit her that she had wasted her first morning asleep in Regina's house, instead of taking advantage of the time she could be spending with the other woman in the simple town she missed. With a frustrated movement, she pushed the covers off of her and sat up, running a hand through her messy hair. Her eyes floated across the room, noticing a folded paper sitting on the dresser with her name scrolled across it in the flowing handwriting that she knew to be Regina's. She stood up and opened it to read the message that had been left for her.

_Emma,_

_I decided to go to work for a few hours. You were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you. I left one of the pairs of jeans you told me to keep (which I still haven't worn!) since you wouldn't be wearing them in the Enchanted Forest. I thought they would be more comfortable for you than any of my clothes. I left them and one of my shirts in the bathroom for you. I'll meet you at Granny's for lunch around twelve. If you don't show up, I will assume you are still asleep and will bring lunch back here._

_See you then,_

_Regina_

Emma smiled to herself at the thought of being able to wear her old jeans, and the smile only grew with the thought of having lunch with Regina. That is, until she realized she had less than an hour to get ready and meet the other woman. She hurried down the hall to the bathroom, closed the door behind her and immediately pulled off the pajamas she was wearing, so she could wriggle into her jeans and the white button-down shirt hanging on the back of the bathroom door. She then, rushed to wash her face, brush her teeth, and finally, her hair, pleased, when she appeared slightly more like herself and way more put together, than when she had first caught her reflection in the mirror.

Emma quickly finished freshening up, deciding it was probably wiser to just forego any makeup (instead of searching for Regina's without permission) and left the bathroom. On her way past Henry's old room, Emma tried not to stop, but she couldn't fight the need to know what was now behind the door. She turned the knob, swallowing the thick tension in her throat, unsure about whether she really wanted to find out whether Regina had transformed the room into something that held no reminders of the boy or kept it the same.

With a heavy exhale, Emma pushed lightly against the door, poking her head inside. The first thing her eyes fell on was the bed covered with the same blue blanket that had been there, since the first time Emma had come to their son's room. Her heart grew heavy at the sight, confirming for her that Regina had still kept this piece of him intact.

She opened the door more to step inside, her gaze wandering from the dresser to the desk, taking in all of the things her son hadn't had enough room in his bags to take with him. There were drawings, old school projects, and toys lying around. The room wasn't too messy, but Emma could tell Regina hadn't touched anything to try to make it tidier, leaving it looking lived in and as if it was still occupied by their eleven year old.

Emma walked across the room to lift up the frame she noticed lying with its back up on Henry's desk. She was fully aware of whose faces she would find smiling at her through the glass when she turned it over. Yet, that knowledge didn't stop the heat from rising into her eyes, creating a few tears that she blinked back when she flipped the picture in her hands and saw the familiar faces staring up at her.

As she looked down at the photograph, Emma's thumb traced around a slightly younger Henry, still the cute little boy that had shown up at her door almost a year ago and not the sprouting, attractive teenager he was quickly becoming. Then, her eyes drifted to Regina standing behind him with her arms wrapped around him. Both of them looked happy. It was a perfect picture of a mother and her son. Before any tears could fall or she thought too much about the unhappy separation that had come between the two, Emma had placed the frame back on the desk, the photograph inside once again hidden away.

She turned slowly and headed back to the hallway, shutting the door almost reverently. After taking a deep breath to quell her emotions, Emma finished her walk to the staircase and made her way down to the first floor, not stopping again, until she was out of the all-too-familiar mansion. The house filled her with both good and bad memories of other times she had been there, and there was no way she wanted to think about them when she was alone.

Next thing Emma knew, she was at the end of the walkway and closing the gate behind her, before making her way down the sidewalk and taking the route she would never forget, from Mifflin to Main Street. Once she had gone a few blocks and made a turn, she discovered more life in Storybrooke. Not far from the main drag, there were faces she recognized but couldn't put a name to and many others she'd never seen before, walking by her, crossing the street, and taking care of their daily errands.

Distracted by the people crossing her path, she hadn't yet looked far enough in front of her to notice the man who was squinting at her a block away; almost like he wasn't sure he was actually seeing who he thought he was.

"Emma?" Jefferson's eyes did a double-take as he walked a little faster in his approach to the blonde.

Upon hearing her name, Emma's eyes jumped from the woman right in front of her, whom she had never seen before, to the face of the man a little further in the distance, appearing dumbfounded, as he stared at her. "It's me!" Emma called to him and a delighted grin formed on his face.

"You're back?" He asked, stopping in front of her. His eyes were questioning and still looking confused as to how they weren't seeing a hallucination. "Didn't think any of you were ever going to come back here."

"Yeah, well, there were a few extra beans and I needed a break," Emma shrugged.

"Oh, don't tell me that land isn't everything you hoped for and more," Jefferson smirked, sounding as dramatic as ever.

"I didn't have any expectations, so I can't say it's disappointed me," Emma explained trying to make sense of her feelings toward the Enchanted Forest. "It's just that it's…it's different."

"That it is," Jefferson nodded his agreement with a sigh.

"Sorry," Emma apologized when she wasn't sure what else to say. "I can't really stay and talk. I'm supposed to be meeting Regina at the diner for lunch."

"Ah, lunch with the one and only Mayor Mills," Jefferson drawled. "I'll walk with you."

For a moment, Emma considered telling him he didn't have to, but she decided against it, feeling a certain comfort toward the first person she had encountered, whom she had been acquainted with, other than Regina. "Okay."

"I have to say, Emma, I was a tad disappointed you didn't try to find me and say goodbye before you left."

"Well, you weren't exactly on the top of my list of people to say goodbye to," There was a hint of coldness in Emma's tone, reminding them both of the time he had kept she and Mary Margaret at his mansion against their will. Realizing she was dwelling on something that no longer really mattered, Emma softened slightly. "Besides, I was a little busy making sure Henry and Regina had some time together before we left."

"I suppose I can forgive you for that," Jefferson smiled in understanding. "Henry's a good kid. Grace always speaks very highly of him, even now."

Emma smiled appreciatively at the compliment, even though, she was aware that Regina was more deserving of it than she was. "You know, I never got the chance to ask you after my parents told me you decided to stay here, but just out of curiosity, why didn't you come back with us?"

Jefferson sighed, and visibly took the time to consider his words, staring ahead of them and collecting his thoughts. "I've seen a lot of places, Emma. Ones that you've only read about in books and seen in movies. There's always that same feeling, though, when you travel from one to another. At some point, you realize only one of them is really home."

"And this is yours," Emma concluded.

"I have my daughter here and I'm happier than I've ever been. No more traveling, hat-making, helping to corrupt young queens," Emma saw darkness creep into Jefferson's eyes. She wanted to ask what he meant by that, never having really been told the whole story between he and Regina, and sensing there was more to it than Regina keeping Jefferson from Grace in the past. Yet, she decided not to question him about something that had brought out something haunted and wicked in him.

"If Grace and I had returned with you, who knows where I would have ended up? Maybe we would have been separated again. Wonderland wasn't somewhere I wanted to return to, and I didn't want to risk losing my daughter again."

"I can understand that," Emma nodded.

"I've become a firm believer that if you're handed a second chance take it and don't mess it up."

Emma considered his words for a moment, before continuing with their conversation. "What do you do now? Please, don't say you opened a hat shop."

"No, no, no," Jefferson shook his head adamantly with a chuckle. "As I said, no more hat-making for me. Not even here. I opened a tea shop, actually. Grace helps me with it. We make our own brews, as well as, importing some of our more exotic ones. Of course, that only earns us some extra pocket money, so I also got involved selling real estate here."

"That was smart."

"I think so too."

"I'm glad everything's going well for you," Emma told him genuinely, finding his happiness contagious. "Is Grace glad you stayed here?"

"I think so," Jefferson met her eyes. "She says it's a lot less boring being a teenager here. And I feel she has many more opportunities."

"Probably," Emma muttered, noticing they were getting closer and closer to the diner. "Snow and I are trying to work on that. We're building more schools and encouraging women to become more independent. We hope many of them will start some kind of job or career, especially when so many of them had them in this land."

"I suppose such changes were inevitable, after the lives everyone experienced here."

"Yeah, it wouldn't have been easy to go back to how things were before the curse."

"Speaking of curses," Jefferson cleared his throat, his eyes shifting less-than-subtly across the street, which caused Emma to follow his gaze. She saw Regina walking in their direction on the other side of the street, dressed in a plain red dress with her arms covered by her black blazer.

"How has she been doing?" Emma lowered her voice, even though she realized Regina wouldn't be able to hear her with that much distance between them.

"Given the circumstances, I think she's kept the town and herself going quite well," Jefferson said honestly, understanding what Emma was really asking. "We could all tell it wasn't easy for her in the beginning. Those of us who stayed, weren't very receptive of her continuing to be mayor, at first. And, of course, she tried to hide how much she missed Henry, and maybe even, you. But we've all adjusted, and having new citizens has helped a lot. Fortunately, she and I have made amends to some degree."

"Really? That's good, I think," Emma kept her eyes on Jefferson, so she wouldn't meet Regina's and cause her to suspect that they were talking about her.

"I believe she realized what she took away from my daughter when she left me in Wonderland. About two months ago she started taking Grace under her wing."

Emma lifted her eyebrow in surprise and question, as she couldn't help but briefly look to Regina who was almost parallel to them on the other side of the street.

"Grace was having some problems—the kind teenage girls have that fathers are often useless in helping with, or so that's what they claim," Jefferson rolled his eyes and Emma chuckled. "Regina saw her outside the library one day and could tell she was upset. After a few hours with some ice cream, girl talk, and one of Grace's favorite movies, she was feeling better and Regina was staying for dinner. Now, they go shopping together and Regina never forgets to invite Grace along for a girl's day when it's time for her to get her nails done again."

"I was right, then. That's good," Emma decided with a hint of relief, as they started crossing the street. "I'm a little surprised with what your history with her is, but I'm glad you're getting along. She was a great mom to Henry. I'm sure she's one of the best people you could have looking out for Grace."

"I wanted revenge for the way she ruined my life, but when I saw her laughing with Grace, while they were eating their ice cream…I realized I ruined her life, too. It dawned on me that there must have been a time when she was like my Grace, but life, her mother, Rumpelstiltskin…all of that changed her and took away everything I'd never want my daughter to lose."

"Jefferson," Regina greeted cheerily, and Emma coughed lightly in an attempt to release the tightness in her throat, composing herself after what Jefferson had said, before she turned to the woman who was standing in front of them.

"Emma, you're early," Regina noted with a smile.

"I decided to go for a walk and head over here. I bumped into Jefferson on the way," Emma jabbed her thumb in his direction. "We were talking, so I wasn't really paying attention to the time."

"No, it's fine," Regina assured. "I just didn't expect to see you here before me."

"Well, ladies, I have some tea to sell. Enjoy your lunch," Jefferson tilted his head forward in a kind of bow and took a step forward to continue walking down the street. "It was good seeing you Emma."

"You too, Jefferson," Emma raised her voice a little, so he'd be able to hear her. "Thanks for the talk."

"Maybe I'll make your goodbye list this time," He called back.

A bright smile broke out on Emma's face. "You just might."

Emma could feel Regina watching the exchange curiously, her eyes flicking from the man they were facing to the blonde beside her. Once Jefferson had walked far enough away, Emma brought her eyes to Regina's. She waited to see if Regina was going to comment on anything, but the brunette just stared at her, allowing Emma's green eyes to see the millions of things racing through her mind that she wasn't saying.

"We were just catching up," Emma's smile remained bright during the half-shrug she gave.

"I wasn't aware you and Jefferson were friends."

"We weren't…not really," Emma admitted, noticing how tense, almost cautious, Regina appeared, until she hurried to add, "But it was nice to talk to a familiar face. It seems like staying in this world has done him a lot of good."

Regina smiled at that, and Emma saw any defenses and distrust fading from the other woman's hardened gaze. "Yes, he's been very successful in real estate and his quaint, little tea shop is quite popular."

Glad to see that a gentleness had returned to Regina's eyes, Emma decided not to bring up Regina's odd reaction that she sensed had stemmed from protectiveness and possibly, jealousy (something Emma had not expected and was surprised by, to say the least). Instead, she commented on another unexpected twist to Regina's life in Storybrooke. "It was nice of you to reach out to Grace. She's a sweet girl. It's not always easy being a teenager without a mom or another woman to talk to."

"I can't say it was a completely selfless decision…"

Regina trailed off but there was no regret or apology in her confession. Emma nodded with an understanding that Regina believed no one else would ever be able to offer or give her. It reminded her that the younger woman had always recognized the world for the shades of gray and imperfections it was made up of.

"I'm sure you have your reasons," Emma tucked her hands into the pockets of her jeans, taking a moment to revel in the old habit that had been forced to die when she left all forms of denim behind. "Either way, I'm sure she's grateful and appreciates it."

"She's a lovely girl," Regina smiled. "In ways, she reminds me of myself when I was her age."

Emma regarded Regina for a moment, watching the way the wind weaved through her hair, lifting the dark strands lightly, until they fell back into place. She saw the youthful glow in Regina's face at the more enjoyable memories of her childhood that she must have started to recall. She could also feel the natural maternal warmth radiating from her, and couldn't comprehend how Regina had so easily claimed she wasn't beautiful the previous night. "Like I said to Jefferson, I can't think of a better person looking out for her."

With the tender brush of Emma's fingers over her arm, Regina looked into her eyes. They were knowing, honest and so many other things that left the older woman grateful.

"Lunch?" Regina finally managed to croak out, and took Emma's hand in hers.

"Lunch," Emma agreed, her previous grin returning, as her fingers grasped onto the hand that rested against hers. She let the conversation drop and didn't mind that her compliment had been pretty much left to hang in the air. Regina's silent gratitude was enough. Holding her hand was enough.


	5. Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer in Chapter 1.

After picking up on the reluctant way Regina had released her hand, Emma waited as the other woman pulled the door to the diner open. Once Regina had stepped inside, the blonde took a breath in an effort to relax herself and followed her through the entrance. Expecting to enter into a completely redone and remodeled space, Emma was happily surprised to find that the new owners had kept more than the diner's original name. There were the same booths, tables, chairs, and other décor that had always been there. Everything looked and was set up the same way it had been when she had eaten there over three months ago. It even held almost the same ambiance as it had when Granny was running it.

To Emma, the only noticeable difference really was that the beloved, witty Lucas team wasn't there. She saw that in their place was a middle-aged husband and wife team standing at the counter, talking with customers and managing the wait staff and cooks. That, and the fact that she hadn't been greeted by at least one friendly acquaintance (not that she had gone in thinking she would be), were what had an empty feeling settling in Emma.

"This is…different," She settled on the word, unable to come up with anything better as she looked around, glancing over the familiar tables and booths, and only catching sight of a recognizable face or two.

"Odd to feel out of place and practically like a stranger somewhere that you've been a hundred times, isn't it?"

The hushed sound of Regina's voice was filled with empathy after seeing the mix of comfort and disappointment that were etched on Emma's face. She was sure it was identical to what her own expression had been when she had initially experienced Granny's without the older woman's voice booming through the diner, directing and sassing everyone from her granddaughter to their customers.

"You came here by yourself the first time?" Emma wondered, although she concluded as much from Regina's tone.

"Who would have come with me?"

The question was rhetorical and a bit snarky, but Emma caught the quick flash of painful loneliness in the revealing brown eyes. Her concern for Regina must have shone, because the other woman made sure to start talking again.

"I came here about a month after all of you left. I had worked late and was too tired to go home and cook. Fortunately, I was already acquainted with the new owners: Mr. and Mrs. Whitney. They were very kind and receptive," Regina nodded her head to the couple standing beside each other across the diner, laughing at something a customer had said.

Emma sighed. "It's funny how the first week after I came here, I didn't think anything about this town would ever change, and now, there's barely anything that's the same as it was then."

The observation was simply a fact being stated, but sadness filled Emma and she was sure Regina could see it, because the brunette was looking at her with the same care that Emma had eyed her with a few moments ago. It was slightly overwhelming, but for the first time in her life, Emma was learning what it was like to return to a place she thought of as home, only to discover how so much had changed.

Allowing her eyes to sweep over the fairly crowded diner again, Emma wondered if Storybrooke had undergone enough change and lost enough of the people that had truly made it a home for her, that what she had been longing for, no longer existed. The familiarity of the town was a comfort, but was Storybrooke still the home she thought it was or were her memories the only place where that home could now be found?

Being inside somewhere she knew well, yet one that wasn't Regina's mansion, was what Emma had needed to sober her and reinforce for her that her home was now divided between two worlds that would probably never feel complete without certain aspects of the other. The sinking feeling flowed through her with the same amount of force that the contrasting wave of relief and belonging had washed over her with the night before, when she'd fallen into Regina's room. Yet, even with its changes and the absence of so many people that meant a lot to her, this was the world Emma had spent decades living in and knew how to exist in.

Jeans, electricity, cars, and everything that separated them from the ways of the past-which were still very present in the Enchanted Forest-had Emma accepting that the way of life in Storybrooke was her way of life, and that completely adapting to the other world would always be a challenge. It left her wishing she could be as versatile as Henry in his ability to adjust to life in the other land, or like Regina in her adaptability to this world. She guessed that part of it was their desire to want the new worlds they inhabited to be their homes, and that they had belief that they could be, which were feelings Emma could only hope she'd be able to possess one day, too.

As she blinked away the tears that were blurring her vision, Emma began to feel self-conscious. Oddly, it wasn't because of the way Regina's eyes were staring into hers, catching every bit of raw emotion. Instead, her uneasiness had come from her sudden awareness that they hadn't moved since they'd entered the diner. The two of them had remained frozen, standing a few feet away from the door. She expected all eyes to be on them when she lifted hers to, once again, examine the place she had eaten in countless times. But to her surprise and relief, only a few pairs of eyes looked toward her, and each of them had easily fallen away, uninterested.

That was a change from the other times she had been there, and especially, at the same time as Regina. All of the eyes in the room had never failed to stare up at the dark-haired woman in anger or fear, after having taken notice of the unwanted intrusion of the mayor and former evil queen. Now, Emma realized, the (mostly) new citizens of Storybrooke were either comfortable with Regina's presence or didn't care enough to take notice of it. The latter seemed impossible to Emma, since she had never believed Regina wasn't someone whose looks alone could gain the attention of an entire room, but more than that, there was just something powerful about her presence. Yet, it appeared that the woman with her eyes trained on Emma, really was allowed to blend in with this new crowd around them.

"If being here bothers you, we could take the food back to the house," Regina offered quietly, observing how Emma's eyes scanned the room without losing the sad, conflicted emotion that she'd watched cloud them a second ago.

Emma quickly met her gaze again, realizing Regina had somewhat misinterpreted her continued silence. "N-No, no it's fine. I just need to get used to it," She assured the brunette, her hands moving to her pockets.

"They know you're the mayor, right?" Emma couldn't help but lean in and whisper to Regina, after she had finally followed the other woman's lead and walked further into the diner.

"Of course, they do," Regina answered lowly, a small, confused frown pulling at the corners of her mouth. "An apple pie was delivered personally by me to each house or apartment the day someone new moved in."

"That's a lot of pies," Emma's mumble received a nod and a quiet chuckle from Regina as the brunette motioned to an empty booth in the corner, away from the rest of the lunch crowd, and they made their way over, sliding into it. "It's like they didn't even notice you walked in."

"Why should they?"

Emma rolled her eyes, scoffing at what she thought was obvious. "People used to."

"Yes, well, now I'm no longer known as an evil, cold-hearted quee-mayor…" Regina hurried to correct before she trailed off, her eyes finding the window to her right, so she could peer out past the sunlight that was flowing through.

The glass reflected the conflicted emotion on Regina's face, which left Emma feeling guilty for the conversation she had caused. Unfortunately, the other woman's hands were hidden under the table, resting in Regina's lap, so she couldn't physically reach out to her and erase the dark thoughts she had caused.

"No, that's true. You're not," Emma said gently in an attempt to bring Regina out of the past.

That had Regina's eyes moving to Emma's again, and the blonde could see they were more apologetic and appreciative than offended and cold; different than her voice had been.

Regina took a deep breath, her tongue coming out to wet her lips that were painted in the deep shade of red they'd been absent of last night. "The truth is I don't want them to notice me," She told Emma quietly. "Not yet. Not until they trust me and I've earned that recognition and respect from them. For once, I think I learned from one of the mistakes I made."

There was a pause in the conversation where Regina half-expected Emma to make some kind of a quip about being shocked, but the other woman remained silent. The patient way the green eyes stared at her, waiting for her to elaborate, had Regina remembering what it was like for someone to actually care about what her experiences were. Not that Grace and Jefferson hadn't been treating her with that same courtesy, but there was something different about Emma. Regina believed she could confide in Emma about anything and she would sit there genuinely interested, never quick to judge or wave away Regina's feelings as insignificant.

"When I first became queen I didn't matter to anyone. People took no notice of me other than hearing that I was the king's new wife," Something dark crossed over Regina's face. Emma was sure it was a mix of anger and remorse, but there was an indefinable emotion that had the blonde caught between wanting to run and wanting to take it away in whatever way she could. However, the table acting as a barrier between them didn't allow her to offer any physical support, and her instincts told her Regina wouldn't be quick to welcome it anyway, in that moment.

"I was a replacement for someone who would never be able to be replaced—not in the king's heart or Snow's or anyone else's in the kingdom." Bitterness seeped out through her words, yet Regina couldn't hide the smallest bit of sorrow that rose with it. "Once the king was dead, I was put fully in charge of the kingdom that barely knew me and didn't want me as their queen. Of course, the only way I felt I could control them and make them obedient was through fear, and by forcing my power on them."

Emma stared at her with sad understanding, and Regina felt the need to sit up straighter, the cushioned booth helping her to ease into her perfect posture. Her brown eyes flicked down to her hands, studying them briefly, while she twisted her ring around her finger with more focus than usual. "That's not what I want to have happen here. If this is what I'm getting my second chance at by staying in Storybrooke, I want to be a good leader, who makes a difference."

A smile formed on Emma's lips at the sincerity and vulnerability Regina had just spoken with. She understood the desire—the need—to begin their new lives with as much of a clean slate as possible. She also knew how difficult that was for someone who was so used to being defined by their past and the choices they'd made, that it had come to be who they saw reflected back at them in the mirror. It was unlikely that the shadow would ever go away, but taking steps to make it fade was what she found herself hoping for (for) both of them. And she was glad to see that Regina had been able to start doing just that. It had her believing maybe she would be able to, too.

"Welcoming them with pie was a good start," Emma commended after a moment, genuinely encouraging Regina, whom she knew had chosen to open up to her with honesty when she didn't have to. She could see how desperately Regina wanted to start her relationship with the town out right, even if it may have been coming out of a fear of the hate and isolation she had experienced for so long returning one day. "You're good at leading. You'll earn their respect."

Regina gave her a grateful smile in return; not knowing what words would be adequate in thanking the other woman. Support wasn't something that she was often offered, especially since Emma and Henry had left. She'd forgotten how good that warm feeling of someone believing in you could be as it flowed through you.

"I suppose I came up with the pie idea because of you," Her smile became teasing as she tried to steer them toward the lighter side of the layered conversation.

A suddenly curious and amused Emma lifted an eyebrow in question, not getting what Regina was referring to.

"You don't remember? I brought you a basket of apples to encourage you to start your journey back to Boston, but much to my disappointment, I found out later that day that you were remaining in Storybrooke."

Emma nodded in recognition, catching on to Regina's train of thought. "Yeah, but I stayed because you seemed to want to get rid of me. It's different."

"Perhaps, but I assumed it would have the same result if I did it with good intentions. I thought maybe the only difference would be that I'd receive more friendliness in return."

"Well, from the amount of people I've seen today, it looks like a little neighborly welcome and apple pie didn't hurt," Emma sent her a crooked smile in silent praise. "But even I was decent enough to notice the woman who brought me that basket of apples," The blonde scowled, crossing her arms over her chest. "And that was even after she'd tried her best to make my life hell."

Regina felt the involuntary smile lift her lips at Emma's continued defense of her. Honestly, she'd never expected the town to warm up to her that easily, even with the kind gesture. But the other woman's suggestion that she had never failed to notice her, had Regina's pulse quickening in a way that she tried desperately to ignore. "I believe our son and your inability to stay away from him were the causes of those acknowledgements."

Emma gave a noncommittal shrug in reply, and Regina felt the fluttering in her stomach that she'd experienced the night before, which made her decide she didn't want to inquire as to what the blonde was thinking. "At this point, the new residents are just finally settling in. I think once they come to care that I'm the one running their town, I will be taken more notice of."

She was unsure of why she couldn't let it go. It just seemed so wrong that Regina outwardly appeared not to mind that no one acknowledged her when she was the one person everyone should know, especially when she probably hadn't done anything yet to warrant anything less than friendliness. Emma also couldn't shake the feeling that what was really gnawing at her was that deep down, she could tell it really was affecting Regina. There was no doubt in her mind that the other woman truly wanted to earn whatever respect the townspeople would give her, yet Regina had less people reaching out to her now than when the people of the Enchanted Forest had made up the town. "I still think it's weird, since you have that same strong presence you've always had. It's always made you stand out," Emma remarked, not giving into Regina's insistence that this was what should be expected of the town.

A small breath of frustration came from Regina.

Emma was complimenting and defending her, and it made something tingle within her, yet she didn't want to—couldn't want to feel it. "I told you I didn't always stand out, Emma. Not when I first became queen. Then, other assets got me attention, but I was mostly invisible, since ogling over the king's new bride was not something one did unless they wanted to be locked in a dungeon."

"And that's why that place has always rubbed me the wrong way. You should have been seen as more than a piece of meat and more than the king's wife," Emma interrupted, seeing Regina's repeated argument for what it was—avoidance. "We're not talking about that right now, though. Trust me, you do stand out. And yes, for a lot of reasons, but your presence is one of them. In a way, I envy it."

Regina gave a wry chuckle. "Says the woman who showed up in Storybrooke wearing a red leather jacket and driving a yellow Bug. And who also won the election for Sheriff after barely having lived here."

"Yes," Emma conceded with a look that told Regina she hadn't wanted or expected her to make such a valid point. "But I have to work at standing out. You just do."

In an effort not to get caught up in Emma's sincerity and the heat building behind her eyes, a smirk formed on Regina's lips, "Well, that explains you falling into my room through a portal last night. You always feel the need to make an entrance, don't you?"

"I wish I could say I planned that," Emma grumbled, allowing Regina to bring them out of a deeper conversation for the second time, seeing how her words had affected the brunette, even if Regina hadn't wanted her to.

"If it's any consolation to your ego, the fact that your landing in my bedroom was an accident is far more respectable than if you had planned it."

"Except, I'm sure you would have preferred that I hadn't landed in your bedroom at all," Emma surmised in an attempt to joke, until she understood it was her attempt to see if Regina would reject her in the same way she had come to expect from people throughout her life.

This time it was she who turned to look out the window, but Regina didn't have to look at Emma's reflection to see the frown on her face.

"Emma," Regina soothed, not missing the comment for what it was. "Stop thinking you're an inconvenience or shouldn't have come here. As I said last night, I'm not particularly thrilled that you used the magic beans; however, you clearly needed this. Otherwise, you wouldn't have left Henry."

"No, but how am I helping the situation? If anything I'm only making things more difficult."

"You may be in some ways, but there are prices that are worth their cost in the long term," Regina offered in understanding, showing that she was willing to pay whatever Emma needed her to, if it would help the other woman find some peace or happiness when she went back to the other land. Whether it hurt her in the end or left her lonelier than the first time, it was worth it for Emma; or so, Regina told herself. Yes, Emma was worth her heart breaking over the final loss of Henry-over the final parting with Emma-that she would have to live through again. But if it kept Emma's spirits from breaking for good, that's what mattered to her. Because Henry needed his mother to feel better and be happier. Or at least that was the reason she tried to convince herself of, when she wondered why she was okay with accepting the pain that would inevitably come in a few days and last much longer.

Regina forced a coy smile, "But as for you landing in my bedroom, I could have done without the near heart attack I had and would have appreciated you landing on the other side of the door, so you could have at least knocked."

"More fun seeing you go from panicked to angry in a split second," Emma tossed back without missing a beat, conveying her gratitude with her eyes for the chance at banter, and more than that, Regina's willingness to understand and go along with her visit.

Regina narrowed her eyes, but it was easy to see the lack of malice. "Lucky for you, I had just finished changing when you dropped in. If not, I may have blinded you with a fireball or something worse."

"E-vil," Emma mouthed teasingly. She wasn't shocked but amused (and perhaps slightly offended) by the steps Regina would take to keep her pride intact, even if it meant doing whatever it would take to keep Emma from seeing her dressed--or undressed--in any way that was less than decent. "I mean it's not like you have to be worried or ashamed when you look the way you do. Not that I'd ever think you aren't beautiful, but you _definitely_ have nothing to be embarrassed about."

The breath Regina was about to release caught in her throat, and she fought her eyes from growing wide with the unexpectedness of what Emma had said and the intoxicating way she was staring at her. Something like panic rose in her, until it quickly morphed into something that rose into her cheeks as a glowing, light shade of pink, and she tried to shake off the feelings that she hadn't experienced since she was eighteen.

Emma felt grateful when Regina's eyes flicked down to her menu and she reached for it, having decided for both of them that they needed to be pulled back across the line to safer subjects that wouldn't lead them into anything they couldn't take back or turn away from.

"How's the food?" The blonde wondered so meekly that it was almost out of character as she tried not to clear the embarrassment and uneasiness from her throat the way she wanted to. With a hand that was surprisingly calmer than the rest of her body, she opened her menu, while trying to keep her eyes from lingering back up to the woman sitting across from her.

Regina also kept her eyes trained on the menu she held open, skimming over the different selections, and appearing very serious as she considered what to order. "Well, I can't really give an opinion on the greasy, deep-fried, artery-clogging dishes you call food, but every salad I've had has been satisfactory, and the grilled chicken sandwich is good with or without mayonnaise."

Emma's head whipped up and her eyebrows shot up in mock astonishment. "I leave and you start eating mayo? What have the changes in this town done to you? Next you'll be saying you've been eating cake for dinner or have randomly started sneaking into the fridge to spray whipped cream in your mouth for a snack."

Regina sent her a warning glare across the table. "Hush," She waved Emma's teasing away. "I was only curious as to what was so great about it."

"And?" Emma eyed her quizzically.

"As I said, the sandwich tasted good with or without it."

"So, you still don't get the big deal," The blonde concluded with a chuckle, and Regina's eyes fell back to the large laminated pages in front of her.

"Good afternoon, Miss; Mayor Mills," A young woman dressed in black pants and a white t-shirt interrupted their silence after a moment, placing a glass of water in front of each woman. She had a bright smile on her face and her brown hair was pulled back into a neat, shiny ponytail. "How are we today?"

"Fine, thank you, Melanie," Regina smiled up at her, which left Emma to force herself not to react to the familiarity she hadn't expected to witness between the two women. "I was actually going to have my secretary arrange a meeting with you for tomorrow, but since you're here…"

Melanie's face fell like she had some bad news and was dreading getting reprimanded for it, but she spoke up, anyway. "I was going to get the final signatures and paperwork to you tomorrow, but I saw Sheriff Brent yesterday. He said he won't sign off on the fundraiser unless we get one more person to work security. He's assuming that most of the town will show up, and the regulations for that type of crowd, say that there should be at least four people there as security. Brent, his deputy, and Mr. Johnson aren't enough."

Emma watched as Regina's lips fell into a straight line, her face looking as unhappy as Melanie's. "I see," was all that the mayor offered in reply, but it was obvious she was trying to come up with a solution to the problem she had just been presented with.

When the pause continued to linger, Emma decided to pry and find out more about what she had been trying to stay out of, not wanting to overstep. "Fundraiser?"

Regina's eyes focused on her as she came out of the thoughts she had gotten lost in. "Yes. Emma, this is Melanie Block. She recently moved here with her family from Massachusetts." Emma and the waitress smiled at each other in acknowledgment before Regina continued, "Her younger sister attends our high school. Melanie came to me with the idea to have a town fair as a fundraiser to raise money for the arts programs and school clubs, which unfortunately have been underfunded because of a few budget cuts. I'm planning on remedying that in the coming months, but until then, they need some help financially."

"Got it," Emma nodded and looked up at Melanie. "A fair sounds fun. Wish we had one of those when I lived here."

Out of the corner of her eye, the blonde caught the eye-roll Regina gave her, and she smirked to herself. "When are you planning on having it?"

"Well, everything else had been scheduled and okay-ed for Friday," Melanie frowned. "But one of our security volunteers can no longer commit, so I'm not sure how that's going to happen. It's only a few days away and no one seems to want to help out."

Emma turned her head back toward Regina, her smile now wavering as well. It didn't seem likely that Regina and Melanie would be able to find someone in that short amount of time, especially when Emma was getting the feeling that there weren't many volunteers who wanted to act as security for a night.

"So, you used to live here? Are you just passing through or visiting for a while?" Melanie wondered, after neither of the women spoke for what felt like too long.

After taking a moment to consider what she should tell her, Emma decided to go with the truth—or as close to the truth as she could speak of without bringing up that she was the daughter of Snow White and was currently living in the Enchanted Forest. "I moved away a few months ago. My parents and son wanted a change, and I ended up moving out of Storybrooke with them. But I've been missing it here, so I decided to come visit."

"How long are you staying?"

"I'm not sure yet. I was thinking a week, but it could be less depending on when the mayor throws me out of her guest room."

That made Melanie laugh lightly, while Regina narrowed her eyes at the woman sitting across from her. "Emma was actually the sheriff here before Brent," she told the girl.

"Wow, nice! I wish you'd stayed. Sheriff Brent is great, but the people who were already living here when I moved in are always talking about how you were an awesome sheriff. You do seem like you'd be good at it."

The comment had Emma practically choking on nothing but air, yet she managed to force a smile, even as her eyes bugged out a little. She knew the townspeople had liked her, but never thought she'd be remembered so highly. "Well, that's nice to hear. Not sure what I did differently, but I'll take the compliments."

Emma's eyes locked on Regina's to see her reaction, but her face was stoic and she just lifted a shoulder in a subtle shrug, telling the former sheriff that the young woman had a point and she couldn't argue. Then, Regina looked to Melanie again, causing Emma to realize that Regina didn't want to offer her opinion with Melanie there. Probably, because she needed to appear loyal to the new sheriff; or at the very least, unbiased.

"Don't get me wrong," Melanie rushed to clarify, her eyes nervously shifting to the mayor and her continued silence, which apparently had the young woman worried that she'd said the wrong thing. "Sheriff Brent is good at his job, but you look like you'd be more confident. I don't think you'd take any crap either."

Regina picked up on the waitress's distress and tried to let her know there was no harm done. "Miss Swan was a fine sheriff," She turned her head to smile at Emma, not allowing her gaze to stay on the green eyes for too long. "And you're right; she never took crap from anyone. Not even me. I think Brent is getting better, though."

At that, Melanie's smile returned and she appeared to relax some. It had Emma noticing how Regina was still capable of being intimidating but without any malicious intent. People, or at least Melanie, were aware of the power she wielded as the town's leader. She presumed it was a good thing that they knew their place, but after Regina saying that she didn't want to earn anything from them out of fear, she also wondered if Regina would ever be able to have friends while she was the mayor. Especially, when Jefferson and Grace were probably the only people who could convince anyone that they didn't have to feel uncomfortable around her.

Melanie broke into her train of thought with a hesitant question. "I'm not sure how long you're staying, Emma, but is there any chance you might want to stick around for a fair on Friday?"

For a second, Emma just stared at her unsure about whether she appreciated or disliked that the girl was willing to resort to asking strangers who no longer lived in town, to help with a fundraiser to benefit Storybrooke. But then, she settled on it being admirable that Melanie would be bold enough to take such a step to help her accomplish what she needed to for a good cause. What Emma hated about it was that she felt pressured and uncomfortable, especially when Regina's eyes were boring into hers along with Melanie's, waiting for an answer. The problem was she didn't know what the mayor wanted her to say.

"Does this have to do with you needing more security and me having experience?" Emma finally smiled slyly up at Melanie, wanting her to know that she didn't want to make this awkward for any of them.

Melanie's eyes brightened at the light tone Emma used. "I'm thinking it'll be more play than work for you in this town, but it's a no-go unless I have one more person there for security, and you were the sheriff until a few months ago, so you're more qualified than anyone I could try to coax into the job."

Emma nodded, trying to keep a poker face. "How 'bout you take our orders, and I'll think it over and have an answer for you by the time you bring us our food?"

"Deal," Melanie grinned, and Emma could see she was attempting to keep any excitement at the possibility of the former sheriff helping out from showing. If it was Melanie's way from keeping Emma from feeling anymore harried into taking the job, the blonde was grateful. "What can I get for you?"

"I'll have my usual salad, Melanie," Regina told her, handing her the menu.

"I'll have a cheeseburger with fries."

"Thanks, ladies. Your food will be out shortly," Melanie flipped the pad she was holding shut, and turned to leave without saying anything more about the fundraiser.

"I leave Storybrooke and you start allowing people to throw fairs?" Emma pouted childishly and crossed her arms over her chest playfully, pretending to be insulted.

"It's for the students in town," Regina huffed back without echoing Emma's playfulness. "When Melanie approached me about it, I thought it would be a good way to help."

"Well, it'll definitely beat the Miners' Day celebration," Emma mumbled, which had Regina's eyes burning with a glare. "Relax, I'm mostly teasing. Like I said before, you're doing good."

"Well," Regina corrected Emma's grammar, and the blonde shook her head in a mix of exasperation and amusement.

"Fine, you're doing well by doing good things to help the town stay on its feet. Better?"

"Will you stay?" The question left Regina's mouth just as Emma stopped speaking. It was clear she didn't want to tiptoe around this with their usual back-and-forth.

"Are you asking me to or just wondering if I am?" Emma reached for her water, drinking a few mouthfuls, while carefully watching as Regina considered her question.

"I don't want you to stay any longer than you feel you need to, but I also don't think we'll be able to find anyone else in time for the fair. And definitely not someone I would trust enough."

"So, both?" Emma squinted across the table in confusion, not receiving a clear answer to what she had asked.

"I don't want to pressure you into staying. Nor do I have any idea how long it will be before it becomes unwise for you to keep staying. However-"

"You and Melanie really want this fundraiser to happen, and it would make both of your lives easier if I said yes to helping out."

Regina stared down at the napkin on the table, lifting her finger to play with one of its wrinkled corners. "As true as that is, I don't want you to forget that in the end, you'll need to go back to our son."

"Henry's probably missing me already," Emma bit her lip feeling a twinge of guilt zip through her. As much as she didn't want to think about it and was still doing her best to go with the flow of things, Emma was glad Regina wasn't allowing her to forget the reality of the situation. Not that she could when everything felt less than right, but she might easily get caught up in life in Storybrooke and spending time with Regina, which was likely to grow even more simple if she acted in a job that was similar to her old one for just the night of the fair. "I did write that I'd be gone a week in the note I left. I'm not sure when I'll be ready to go back."

"I promise you, if you're still here next week, I'll open the portal myself and push you into it," Regina vowed as a threatening streak lit her brown eyes, before Emma saw the unhappiness that faded fast.

"Thank you in advance, in case I end up telling you off for pushing me."

Regina smiled warmly at her, reaching out across the table to tentatively rest her hand over Emma's. She was about to speak when Melanie's shadow darkened their hands. They pulled apart, so the waitress could set a plate in front of each of them.

"Can I get either of you anything besides water?" She offered, tilting her head from Regina to Emma, and receiving a shake of the head and a thank you from each woman.

Regina reached for her fork, while Emma finished considering what she would say to Melanie, who she could tell was anxiously anticipating her answer by the way she fidgeted beside her.

With a sharp nod, Emma turned to their waitress. "Go see the sheriff after work and tell him to sign the papers, so you can get them to the mayor's office by tomorrow."

"Ah! Thank you," Melanie clapped her hands together, smiling at both of them, until she practically skipped away.

"And that is why you won the election when you first came here," Regina hummed with a small smile, pouring the cup of dressing onto her salad. "You do things to help others, whether or not you benefit from them."

"Must be the savior thing," Emma winced at the title she never thought she deserved.

"You envy the strong presence I have, but I envy you that, and the way you see people for who they really are."

"Guess that makes us even," Emma smiled, and glanced down at the food in front of her that she hadn't yet touched. "But I think you see people, too. It's why you're good at being controlling."

"Exactly why it's more admirable in your case. And I see some things haven't changed," Regina quipped, her eyes traveling from the plate overflowing with fries and a burger on it, to Emma.

"Stop judging, Madam Mayor. Burgers aren't easy to make over there, so yeah, I'm getting all of the cheeseburgers I can eat while I'm here." Emma reached for the ketchup, squirting some beneath the bun and on the side of the plate for her fries. "We really need to start making condiments in the Enchanted Forest."

"Maybe that will be your new legacy; saving that world from a life without condiments."

Emma took a bite of her burger to stop herself from sparring with Regina. "So, Storybrooke. Tell me about it."

"What do you want to know?" Regina watched Emma savoring the taste of the mouthful of food that she hadn't had in a long time.

"It's so good. I don't know how I'm going to go back to living a life without burgers," The blonde swallowed, picking up her napkin to dab at the corner of her mouth. Regina lowered her head to focus on stabbing at her salad, but Emma could tell she was hiding a grin at Emma's enjoyment of her food. "I don't know. Whatever you want to share with me."

"Well for one, it was so peaceful after you left," Regina smirked, as she lifted a fork full of greens to her mouth. "No one knocking on my door and parading into my house like it was theirs."

"I had a feeling you've missed me," Emma smiled smugly, biting the couple of fries she had brought up to her mouth.

Regina rolled her eyes playfully but couldn't keep the tenderness she ended up looking at Emma with from filling them. Knowing they were hovering around something that could easily move to something deeper and more serious yet again, she led them down the path their conversation should have been taking.

"Nearly one hundred families have moved in from different states all over the country. Obviously, they were looking for a nice, quiet town to raise their children in."

"So how many people does that make living here now, aside from you and the hundred or so other people that stayed here?"

"I'd say a little over seven hundred. I'm not sure how many more will settle here in the near future, but I'm hopeful the population will continue to increase over time, so we end up with at least two thousand residents within the next five years. Everything is going well, though. We've managed to hire enough teachers for our two hundred forty-two students, and the hospital also has enough doctors and other staff. And as you heard from Melanie, Brent is the interim sheriff and he has a deputy. I appointed them soon after you left," Regina told her. "Of course, whether they stay in those positions will be decided with the election in two months, but it doesn't seem like they'll have much competition. I'm fairly confident I won't have much either this time around."

Emma smiled widely. "Looks like you got your wish, then. The town is continuing to do well."

"Mm," Regina sighed half-heartedly, lifting the heavy glass of ice water in front of her and taking a sip.

"You're not happy about that?" Emma watched as Regina took a few more sips, seeing how she was trying not to be obvious in pondering the question.

"No, I'm pleased. It is what I wanted for Storybrooke, after all," Regina forced a smile, and placed the glass back over the sweaty ring it had made on the table.

Emma could tell it was the truth, but she also knew Regina well enough to know there was more to it than that. It took everything she had, but Emma decided not to push, and fought away any of the curiosity and concern she felt. After asking Regina about how happy she was last night, Emma doubted she'd receive a completely honest answer, anyway.

"Anyone interesting move in?"

"There are a few…characters, and a lot of nice people. But overall, just your ordinary citizens that make up your common, little New England town, or so I assume. After all, this is the only town I've lived in."

Emma took another bite of her burger and washed it down with a few sips of water, then continued, "And everyone that stayed is doing well like Jefferson?"

A shadow of sadness crossed Regina's face. "I believe they are. Jefferson really is the only person here I spend time with, and truthfully, that's thanks to Grace."

Emma nodded, letting Regina know she understood and it wasn't necessary to elaborate further. However, a memory from the night before came to mind and Emma's forehead wrinkled at the thought. "Last night you said there are only five people who would visit you at your house. If two are Jefferson and Grace, who are the other three?"

"Can't you guess?" Regina challenged gently, lifting more salad into her mouth.

Emma sighed, deliberating over who it could be. "Well, I doubt it's Hansel, Gretel and their father. And I don't really see Gepetto and Pinocchio visiting for dinner. Some of your former guards?"

"No, dear," Regina replied simply, her lips staying in a straight line. "They show me a certain loyalty, even now, but that only goes as far as having confidence in my leadership and not minding that I'm mayor. Otherwise, they stay far away, and frankly, I can't blame them."

"I highly doubt you'd be okay with King George dropping by," Emma eyed her knowingly, choosing not to comment on the bit of remorse that laced Regina's words.

"Spencer, Emma," Regina dropped her voice into more of a whisper, feeling more and more uneasy each time the blonde used a fairy tale name to mention someone. The area around them was still mostly vacant, but there was no way to be sure that no one might eavesdrop. "If anyone overhears you…"

"Sorry, I'm just used to referring to everyone by their other names now. The names thing will never not be weird. Thank god you and Henry will only ever be Regina and Henry."

A sad, understanding smile fell on Regina's lips at Emma's apology and hearing her talk about her and their son. "No, not Spencer," She answered quietly.

"Then, someone new from this worl—from here?"

Emma was admittedly a little stunned that it could be a new resident of the town, especially when Melanie was the only person whom she had seen interact with Regina, and it obviously hadn't been their first meeting. Yet, she was sure it had to be someone new when she was running out of fairy tale options.

"The new sheriff may have paid me a visit." Emma narrowed her eyes at Regina and the smugness in her voice, and the brunette knew she had hit just the right nerve. "Strictly business, of course."

"Of course," Emma mocked back, seeing right through Regina's act to rile her up if she could. She wondered if the other woman understood that it wasn't just the fact that someone else was doing a job she had actually grown to love that got to her, but also, the pang of jealousy that burned in her, which she quickly suppressed.

"I suppose I deserve that, when you look at my past relationships with the sheriffs of this town."

"Regina, I was mostly teasing," Emma lightened. "It's not like you asked for the mother of your son to become sheriff. And Graham was, well…Graham. I doubt you really meant to have personal ties to both of your sheriffs. Besides, it's none of my business. "

"You're right, it's not," Regina pursed her lips, setting her fork against the edge of her plate.

"But even if it was, I know there's nothing going on between you and Sheriff Brent, or whatever his name is. I can tell you're probably not even friends," Emma shrugged with indifference, and filled her mouth with some more fries.

Regina's eyebrows moved toward one another and her lips parted. "How do you know that?"

"I have my ways."

Now, it was Emma who appeared smug.

But then Regina quickly caught on, understanding that Emma had gathered as much from their discussion of Sheriff Brent with Melanie earlier. "You're just overly perceptive when you want to be."

"I just like to know what I need to know."

Regina raised an eyebrow, "And you needed to know where I stand with the new sheriff? I thought you said it was none of your business?"

Emma dunked a couple more fries into the ketchup on her plate, then raised her eyes to Regina's again. "I can't help that I like to know who my competition is."

Regina scoffed, her elbows moving forward to rest on the table. "How is he your competition?"

"He's obviously not," Emma remarked unworried, and swirled a new fry around in the ketchup, but still remained focused on Regina, "According to the mayor, I was a better sheriff than he is."

"You don't have to gloat."

"Yeah, you're right," Emma popped the last few french fries into her mouth and pushed her empty plate away. "It's not fair to him when the mayor's biased."

Regina gave a short laugh. "I'm not biased. I'll never admit this again, but as infuriating as you were most of the time, I could depend on you. Your paperwork was always turned in the day it was due or the day after, so I knew when to expect it...and your handwriting was always legible. You also answered calls promptly and showed up to where you were needed in five minutes or less. I could rely on you for the important things, while I also came to know what to expect from you. He and the new deputy are much more unpredictable."

"Oh, so I'm predictable. And here I was thinking you were complimenting me," Emma said humorously, and sunk back against the booth.

"I am. In this case, predictability was a good thing. I was aware that you were dependable and determined."

"Here's the check, ladies," Melanie interrupted them and placed a long piece of paper upside down on the table. "I hope you liked your lunch."

"Thanks, Melanie. It was really good," Emma was the first to answer the girl this time. "Best cheeseburger I've had in months."

"Good," The young woman said, picking up their dishes. "And thanks again, Emma."

"No problem," Emma smiled.

"Here, Melanie," Regina handed her some folded bills, and Emma could tell it was a generous tip. "Thank you."

"Thank you, Mayor Mills. I'll drop everything off at your office in the morning."

"Perfect."

Emma and Regina stood up as Melanie went to deliver a check to another table, before disappearing into the kitchen with their dirty dishes.

"Thanks for lunch," Emma smiled from beside Regina as she paid the young man standing behind the cash register.

"I can't have you starving on me, now can I?"

"You could just say you're welcome, you know?"

Regina hummed in response and Emma walked with her to the door, a smile creeping onto her lips with the comfort that certain things hadn't changed. They walked out into the warm sun, heading onto Main Street.

"Do you need to go back to work?" Emma stopped them when they reached the sidewalk.

"I accomplished a lot this morning. I'm sure no one would miss me if I took the afternoon off," Regina offered, squinting at the bright sun that she faced.

"Good, because I could use a tour guide."

"Everything is mostly as it was," Regina sounded confused.

"True, but it's more fun to have someone to talk to," Emma bumped her arm lightly without thinking about it, until Regina looked down at where Emma's elbow had just made contact.

"Oh, I see, so I'm only needed to make sure you don't get bored in our small town."

Emma chuckled. "I highly doubt I'll be bored, but you could help make it more fun. Point out new faces, keep me away from shops I should avoid…"

"I don't remember the last time someone suggested I'd make something more fun."

Regina fell quiet and assumed Emma didn't know what to say after the weight of her comment, but then, she heard the other woman begin to speak distantly, recalling something.

"It must have been Henry. The night we made those crazy sundaes at your house, a few days before we left."

Regina stared at her completely clueless. "He never said anything about me making it more fun."

"No, but he told me you would, and flew out of the kitchen to find you, leaving me to unpack the bag of ice cream, hot fudge, and candy that we bought all by myself," Emma grinned, remembering how great of a time they'd had. "He was right."

"How so? All I remember was having to wash out the mix of whipped cream and sticky hot fudge you accidentally flung into my hair, when you dramatically stated with a wave of your spoon that we should make sundaes every Sunday," Regina eyed her pointedly, not enjoying the memory as much as Emma was.

"Well, you didn't literally kill me, so that added to the fun," Emma chuckled, wisely taking a step back from Regina, who was looking more and more irritated. "I don't know. It was just more fun with you than it would have been without you. Both of us dishing out the ice cream; you helping Henry with the fudge; the mountain of whipped cream Henry sprayed on yours that you still ate because he made it for you. Oh, and can't forget tossing candy and marshmallows into the bowls from the other side of the breakfast bar."

Regina subtly swept away a tear that had begun to trickle down her cheek and Emma frowned at the action, not having meant to make Regina cry.

"We should head to the store to get you anything else you might need," Regina announced, and spun around, assuming Emma would follow her, which she did. "I know we just ate, but start thinking about what you might want for dinner."

"Regina," Emma reached for her hand, stopping them in front of the alley by Granny's.

"Emma, it's fine," Regina's watery eyes lifted to hers from the joined hands they were staring down at. "I just—I miss him."

"I know. I'll try not to talk about him too much. I'm sorry."

"No," Regina moved her head back and forth. "I want to remember, no matter how much it hurts."

"Me too," Emma smoothed her thumb over the back of Regina's hand, making the empathy and meaning behind her words clear. Maybe she hadn't spent over a decade being Henry's mother, but those few memories of acting like a sort of family with Henry and Regina were what helped to keep her moving forward.

"I know," Regina breathed out, acknowledging what Emma had said for what it was, while also, not allowing the underlying meaning of the words to just slip away. The emotions were evident in Emma's eyes. The ones that told Regina she'd never stop being her family, even if it was true that they'd barely been that, or if no other feelings would ever end up being acknowledged between them. "I know."

"So, is Mr. Gold's still a pawn shop or something else?" Emma broke the serious moment after a bit.

"That's for me to know and you to find out when we pass by," Regina took a deep breath and tugged her hand out of Emma's, so she could begin leading them down the street again. However, it wasn't long before Emma fell into step beside her.


	6. Two Worlds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer in Chapter 1.

A hand rose to Emma's mouth, covering up a yawn. It was only a few minutes before four in the afternoon, yet she felt the exhaustion weighing her down from all that she had been through during the last twenty-four hours, including the three hours she had just spent with Regina, traipsing around Storybrooke and exploring the new shops. It had been fun and just a little disappointing at times, to see changes to businesses, such as, the bakery with new owners and a different name. Then, there were the places that had been completely renovated. Mr. French's flower shop had been turned into a craft store with more varying colors of glitter a person could buy, than Emma had ever even thought to consider were available in the first place. The small containers sparkling in the sunlight streaming in took up half a wall, and where they ended, rows and rows of stickers took their place.

The other surprise was that Mr. Gold's shop had been transformed into a small Italian restaurant, complete with wooden tables covered in red and white checkered tablecloths and a red rose and flickering tea light sitting atop each in a small vase. Emma had only peeked through the window of Matteo's Ristorante, but she had still smelled the warm, delicious scent of pizza flowing out from inside and licked her lips when her tongue had begun watering. That was when Regina had been forced to all but drag her away by the arm, reminding Emma that they'd only just had lunch a couple of hours ago. Emma had pouted in her direction and Regina had then offered to make them a homemade pizza for dinner, since it was out of the way to stop at Matteo's on the way home.

One of the new businesses they had made sure to stop in, however, was a new coffee and gelato shop owned by a pair of sisters. Regina had informed Emma that the two women had both recently retired from their jobs in New York City and decided to move to Maine for the peaceful, contrasting feel to the big city environment, while also, making their dream come true to own a café where they could make their own gelato from a family recipe.

Emma couldn't deny that she had enjoyed her cup of Chunky Chocolate Chocolate Chip, and that her taste buds were still craving more of the Magical Minty Mudslide Regina had reluctantly offered her a taste of, after Emma had attempted to steal a spoonful, only to have her hand initially swatted away. Yet, her favorite part had been the iced vanilla latte she'd desperately needed after visiting the other stores and purchasing enough of a wardrobe to last her until Friday, while being under Regina's scrutinizing, fastidious gaze.

Now, they were in the supermarket that Emma had been in plenty of times during the time she had lived in the small town.

Emma yawned again, stopping her hand in the air, as it made its way toward a package of mozzarella cheese, and brought her open palm back to her mouth, instead. She blinked a few times, trying to force the tiredness away, silently begging the caffeine from the latte to kick in. Twenty minutes had already gone by, since she'd finished the fairly strong blend of coffee, but her sleepiness only seemed to be getting worse.

"Emma?" A voice that sounded young and tentative startled her, as she concentrated on not throwing the cheese, which was now in her hand, backwards across the aisle. She turned slowly toward the smaller body that she sensed a couple of feet behind her, her eyes falling to the red-headed boy, whose face lit up when he realized it really was the woman he thought he had recognized.

The blonde's smile grew as wide as the boy's, and she opened her arms just in time for him to wrap his arms around her in a tight hug. "Oh my-what's up, Pin-"

His freckled face stared up at her with a look in warning and a finger rose to his lips to indicate that she shouldn't say anymore. "August," He whispered up at her. "Don't want to blow our cover."

"No, you're right," Emma winked down at him. "Seriously, though, how are you?"

"I'm good," They released each other from their hug, but didn't step too far back from the other. "School has been good and I've been helping my papa. What are you doing here? I thought you guys were never coming back."

A frown crossed over Emma's face, as she stared into the hopeful eyes of the young boy she'd only really come to know in the weeks before they'd left. After the Blue Fairy had changed August back into his younger self and everything had settled down from the ordeal with Greg and Tamara, Henry and the boy had easily become close friends. Emma had suspected it had something to do with the other fairytale children not knowing August and not wanting to visit Henry when he was staying with Regina. Not that August had been allowed to go over to the former Evil Queen's house for play dates either, but they'd found time to bond at school and when Henry was with Emma or his grandparents for a few hours.

"I-"

But their conversation was interrupted by August's father approaching them with a reprimanding look on his face, as he walked over. "My boy, what did I tell you about speaking with strangers," Marco's thick accent flowed toward them. "I'm so sorry, Mi-"

Marco froze, as he reached out to grasp August's shoulder. "Emma," A smile broke out over his face, meeting his kind eyes. "It is so good to see you. But I thought—your parents said…"

Emma shifted uncomfortably in front of the father and son, knowing they'd probably be understanding toward her, but also feeling a pang of guilt and embarrassment at selfishly using the magic bean. "Yeah, I wasn't exactly supposed to come back," She looked down at the package of cheese she was holding, and then, back up at them. "I used one of the last magic beans. I just needed some time away."

Empathy flooded Marco's eyes and he lifted the hand that was on August's shoulder to hers. "It's alright, my dear. We understand. It cannot be easy."

"No," Emma agreed in a somber tone finding it difficult not to tear up at the memory of how miserable she was the night before, after she'd left the ball.

The understanding in the older man's voice and eyes, left Emma curious as to whether he'd been struggling with his decision to stay in this world. She knew Marco had decided to stay out of worry that Pinocchio might turn back to wood. The Blue Fairy hadn't been able to tell him confidently that it wouldn't happen, since no one knew what crossing into the other realm would do. And because Blue had already turned him human twice, she was worried that three times would result in some kind of magical side effect from using that particular spell if he did end up turning back to wood. It was too much of a risk for the father to take, so he'd chosen to stay behind. That, however, meant sacrificing friendships.

"How is the other land? Is everyone well? How's my good friend, Archie?" Marco wondered, draping his arm around his son's shoulders.

"Everything went according to plan and things have been rebuilt and restored," Emma told him with a smile and earned a pleased nod in return. "Everyone seems happy to be home. Archie's great. He's living at the castle as an advisor to my parents. Not sure how much he's enjoying being a cricket again," There was a lightness to Emma's tone, but it wasn't hard to tell that she was leaning towards the assumption that Archie wasn't too thrilled with inhabiting his former buggy way of life. "But having people still coming to him for advice is enough of a distraction."

There was a mix of sadness and relief etched on Marco's face that Emma understood. It came from hearing that a friend was doing as fine as they could be, while it left you missing that person that had seemed to become a fixture in your life, until they weren't anymore.

"Tell him we said hello."

"I will," Emma reached out to touch the older man's arm, squeezing it gently. She nudged her head in the direction of the boy standing beside his father. "August seems happy. How are you doing?"

"Well, thank you," Marco's eyes were sincere. Still, though, Emma noticed something vaguely melancholy in them. "My business has picked up again. My boy and I have been busy fixing things and building new ones."

"That's good," Emma gave a genuine smile and kept herself from inquiring further about how the man was feeling. It wasn't that she didn't care, but Marco had always been more reserved around her than others, and she wasn't going to press him to open up to her when they honestly hadn't been more than acquaintances.

"How's Henry? Does he like it there?" August asked when the adults' conversation tapered off. His questions were filled with a concern and interest that touched Emma. "I know how much he wanted to live there but…"

The boy's eyes darted from Emma's to something behind her, before falling to his hands.

"But…?" Emma prompted, receiving a shake of the head from the boy.

"Nothing," August said quickly, appearing unsure if he should say more.

"I think he likes it there," Emma answered with a bit of hesitation, while staring down at the boy quizzically. She really wanted to know what he had been about to say. "He's been going horseback riding, exploring the castle, learning to swordfight, trying to be like his grandpa…you know, all of those things Henry loves."

August gave her a crooked smile, yet there was almost an imperceptible shake of his head that Emma just happened to catch.

"No?" She raised an eyebrow at him and felt more confused than anything. "He doesn't love that stuff?"

A short, amused giggle escaped August, almost like he couldn't believe Emma would actually question whether Henry loved doing all of the things he'd been excitedly talking about from the second he learned they'd be returning to the Enchanted Forest. "No, he does. But the night before you guys left he was hoping…he didn't think she was going to go. He wanted her to. His mom."

Emma felt a lump rise in the back of her throat, remembering how defeated Henry had seemed, after finding out that the council would only permit Regina to return with them to the other land if she remained in jail.

"I thought maybe he came back with you. That he decided he'd rather be here," August gave a half-hearted shrug accompanied by a disappointed smile. "The week before you left, he kept saying how great it was that the three of you were acting kinda like a real family. I guess it's just that I know I miss Archie and he was my friend. Sometimes I think if there was a way to leave, I'd risk not being real anymore just to see him. It's gotta be worse being separated from your mom, right?"

Just as Emma's eyes widened slightly at his in recognition she heard heels clicking against the tiled floor and a familiar voice saying her name.

"Oh, good; I found you. I thought you said you'd be right back with the cheese for the piz-" Regina's voice trailed off when she noticed who Emma was talking to and how heavy the air seemed to be around them.

Emma's mouth opened and closed, before she faced Regina. "Sorry, I bumped into," She waved a hand toward Marco and August, who turned stiffly toward the brunette.

Both women noticed how Marco's arm tightened around his son, although, it had Emma wondering if it was just out of habit from living in fear of the former evil woman for so long, or whether, he still believed she would cause them harm.

"Good afternoon, Marco, August," Regina forced as bright of a smile as she could, unsure about how much the two of them trusted her, and so, she wanted to show that she didn't mean any harm (something she was growing weary of conveying—not that she could blame them for needing the assurance).

Marco returned the smile, but something about him seemed more reserved and colder to Emma, now that Regina had appeared. "Good afternoon, Madam Mayor," His head turned back to the blonde, his smile growing and eyes warming again. "We should be heading back to the shop. It was good to see you, Emma."

"Good to see you guys, too," She echoed the smile and shifted her eyes to August's, then took his hand and bent over a little. "I'll tell Henry you said hi. And don't worry; I'll make sure he really is happy."

August smiled at that and hugged Emma once more. There was some inexplicable connection she felt to August, even now, when he was no longer the man she remembered and had no memory of the curse actually happening. She wondered if the oddly familiar connection would have existed had the curse never happened. Of course, August was older than she was, but it still made her curious about whether he would have been like an older brother to her, had she grown up in the Enchanted Forest. As she held him, however, a sad feeling told her that her royal blood probably would have kept them from that kind of friendship. It made her grateful that at least Henry and August had (had) the chance to form such a strong friendship with each other in very little time, and one that still had August caring about how his friend was. She guessed Henry would be just as glad to hear that Emma had bumped into the other boy.

"If we don't meet again, safe journey," Marco said, reaching to take his son's hand in order to lead him away.

After they turned a corner and were out of sight, Regina cleared her throat and Emma met her eyes. "I'm sorry I interrupted your catching up with them."

"No, it's fine. I think we were pretty much done talking," Emma tossed the cheese into the basket Regina was holding and lifted it from her hands, so she could carry it instead.

She could feel Regina's eyes narrow in her direction, but began walking before Regina could make any comments about being fully capable of holding the basket packed full of different items.

"Most of it is mine," Emma nodded at the basket she was firmly gripping the handles of, as they turned down one of the aisles and made their way to the check-out, joining the shortest line, which was already too long, now that the store had become more populated with mothers and their school-age children. "You were already carrying it for longer than you should have been. And you're paying for it…which I appreciate. And my clothes, too. I appreciate those. Thanks."

Her cheeks were tinted with a light pink as Emma caught herself at the end of her ramble.

"I don't need my reputation scandalized because my house-guest was caught shoplifting," Regina's eyes were cast down at her purse, while she searched for her wallet. That hadn't stopped Emma from catching the brief smile her lips had crept up into, before falling away with her somewhat terse reply.

"Of course, _Madam Mayor_ ," The blonde mocked with a shake of her head, stepping forward with the rest of the moving line. "And again, normally people say: _you're welcome_. Three syllables. Not that hard."

On impulse, one of Emma's hands shot out to grab a distracted Regina's elbow, keeping her from bumping into the woman in front of them when the line stilled. Irritated brown eyes snapped up at hers, just as Regina's hand pulled out the wallet she had been fishing around in her purse for. Emma tilted her head toward the body less than half a foot away from Regina's, silently revealing the embarrassing disaster she had just saved the mayor from.

A rare, sheepish look crossed the other woman's face and she was quick to lift her purse back onto her shoulder, right before she adjusted her blazer; the movement telling Emma to remove her hand from her arm.

"You're welcome," Emma smiled over at her with a smug glint twinkling in her eyes. "See, not that hard to say. Thank you isn't too difficult either," The blonde coughed lightly.

Regina took a noticeably deep breath, rolling her shoulders back, completely regaining her composure. "Thank you," The brunette said sincerely, her voice low, but then, she quirked an eyebrow. "Satisfied?"

"Better," Emma hummed, as they moved up a few more inches. "Although, few things say thank-you-for-saving-me-from-an-awkward-situation like homemade pizza does."

"Well, I suppose you're in luck, then," Regina waved her hand at the basket Emma was continuing to hold, containing most of the items needed to make a perfect pizza. She waited a bit before adding, "I'm lucky you're such an easy person to repay. Not that I really owe you anything else, after already sharing my home with you."

"I guess I'm the one who has some paying back to do."

"I don't know, Miss Swan, I'd say we're even, for now."

Emma's mouth fell open in mock astonishment. "Okay, really, where's Regina Mills? First, the mayo comment at the diner, then, Magical Minty Mudslide gelato without our son there to use as your excuse to indulge, and now, we're even? This is the part where you come up with _some_ way to have the upper hand."

Regina snorted, "Really, dear? You're complaining? Weren't you the one who rolled their eyes at me a few months ago and said that I-and I quote: _needed to live a little and_ _eat more food outside of my healthy comfort zone_? And I'm sorry; I didn't realize how much you enjoyed my need to _dominate_."

That had the blonde's mouth snapping shut, since Emma had a feeling if she didn't close it, her jaw literally would have fallen the rest of the way to the floor. "N-Not complaining. If you're not in the mood for being the dominant one," She stammered, feeling the heat that was, once again, turning her cheeks a shade of pink (hopefully, a pale, light pink that a pair of certain meticulously searching brown eyes wouldn't pick up on). "Wait. No, I meant, not…we can be even. I'm good with that."

"Now, that we've cleared that up," A self-satisfied smirk curled Regina's lips, and she had to stop herself from chuckling at Emma's rambling and the cringing that had the corners of the blonde's eyes wrinkling. After all, she didn't want to be too cruel. "Good. Although, I'm not making any promises that it will last."

"And there's the Regina I know," Emma grinned, as she lifted the plastic, blue basket she was holding and started emptying it, placing the items onto the conveyor belt. "Wouldn't want you to have changed too much."

The brunette kept her eyes trained on the hand that kept working to unload their groceries, remembering what it felt like to have someone standing next to her who really did know her. Maybe Emma didn't know every story, but she knew more than most. And more importantly, she had paid attention and learned a lot of the little details; the things Regina was probably hardly aware of herself. All of those, otherwise, insignificant parts of her that Emma had picked up on because she cared to.

It didn't matter why the other woman had started to make the observations when they'd first met, but knowing Emma continued to remember them meant something. That _something_ Regina tried not to focus on, because it was the same _something_ that kept her remembering all of the little details she couldn't forget about Emma. And it was the same something that was getting tired of being pushed down whenever it wanted to be expressed.

* * *

By the time they arrived back at Regina's mansion, it was a quarter to five. Emma and Regina carried the bags of groceries into the kitchen and unpacked what was mostly Emma's food supply for the duration of her visit—a majority of it being snacks that her host would never purchase for herself. She tried to make mental notes of where she was putting everything, since Regina was directing her back and forth from the pantry, to a specific shelf in the refrigerator, to one of the cabinets, and practically causing her to work up a sweat.

Order after order.

Direction after direction.

"If you care that much about where I'm putting my crap, why don't you put it away," Emma snapped, after Regina had told her to put a jar of salsa in the pantry, only to change her mind and have the blonde walk to the other side of the room to put it in the fridge.

The defensive look that quickly morphed into something close to hurt on Regina's face had Emma sighing. "I'm sorry. The caffeine from the latte is refusing to kick in, so that was the crankiness from that, not me being ungrateful. Where should I put the hot chocolate?"

"Here," Regina said gently, stepping away from the wall and taking the box from Emma, but not before purposely allowing her fingers to linger against the other woman's in a silent acceptance of her apology. She then moved to place the box in one of the cabinets near the stove.

"I'm sorry for ordering you around like that," Regina quietly offered her own apology when she returned to stand in front of the blonde, and took the next item from Emma's hands. "Cranky or not, your snapping was justified. I'm used to unpacking quickly, easily putting everything where I know it goes." She nodded at the can in Emma's hand. "You can put that in the pantry; I'm going to place this here."

"I forgive you," Emma's lips lifted in a smile that she directed at Regina, before she stepped away from her. "This time, anyway. I'll just blame it on your impatience and not having anyone else to order around, lately. Old habits die hard, right?"

The brunette ignored the half-teasing comment, only answering Emma by handing her a few cans and gently telling her where they should go, before she carried a carton of milk to the refrigerator.

When the bags were finally empty, Emma left Regina, who was starting to prepare the pizza for their dinner, and went back out to the car to get the bags of clothes she'd bought after visiting a couple of boutiques and Storybrooke's only department store. She brought them upstairs and took her time placing more than a few pairs of underwear, a bra, three different tank tops, and two pairs of jeans in the mahogany dresser. Then, she hung up a navy hoodie, a red pullover, a gray zip-up sweater, and a forest green button-down in the closet.

Regina hadn't cared too much about the jeans Emma had bought, probably because she hadn't worn the pair she'd originally left behind, however, the other woman had had a say in the shirts Emma purchased. Those, Emma guessed, she was planning on making use of once the blonde was gone; not wanting to waste perfectly good clothes that she'd spent money on. That said, Emma had already decided to bring the tank tops, underwear, and bra back with her to the Enchanted Forest, since they'd easily fit in the backpack she'd brought along.

Honestly, she was probably more excited about the undergarments she'd be returning with than she should be. In her defense, though, corsets were not her thing, and while normal bras were finally starting to be produced in the other land, it would be at least another month before the two currently being made for her were ready. Plus, she didn't have high hopes that the three bras she'd initially brought over with her, would be capable of doing their jobs much longer, especially after they'd become even more worn out during her travels and the battles with the ogres. So, there was no way this new black one with touches of white lace was going to be left behind in this world.

The same went for the new underwear. There just wasn't enough variety in the other land. And while the silk and cotton handmade briefs were comfortable, there were times where she wanted thongs, bikinis, or anything that made her feel like she wasn't turning into the old prude she often believed she was becoming. Hell, even the boyshorts she'd just bought were made of way less material and were more stylish than the briefs they made for royals. Emma grunted, maybe it was some kind of chastity thing and they purposely made ugly underwear there, until a woman was _deemed ready_ for lingerie on her wedding night. Her lips curled in distaste at the ways of the other land.

Once everything was put away, Emma tugged her brown boots off and laid back on the bed, feeling the soft cream-colored comforter beneath her. She took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes, feeling her body relax. She wasn't as tired anymore, now that the latte was finally starting to do its job, but she needed a rest after all of the walking around and unpacking.

She let her mind wander from thoughts of the pizza Regina was making downstairs, to the changes throughout Storybrooke, to the fair she'd be helping with on Friday. She thought of Marco and August, her thoughts drifting back to the conversation they'd had, and felt her stomach twist at how much Henry's friend seemed to believe he was probably missing Regina more than he let anyone suspect. Hearing from August how Henry had liked having the three of them together as some kind of family more than he'd let on, also had her questioning what their son was really feeling about the whole move to the Enchanted Forest. It made her wonder why he hadn't fought Regina more when Emma had brought him over to say goodbye a few hours before they'd left through the portals. From what she remembered, he'd agreed with Regina's reasoning and appreciated that she was letting him go. Of course, he'd been sad and a little reluctant to leave her alone, but he had also gone willingly with the rest of his family.

_"Emma," Henry grasped onto the black sleeve of his mother's coat, successfully stopping her from walking the rest of the way up the path to the front door of the mansion. Henry's eyes locked onto hers and he searched them for an answer to the question he'd asked twice on the drive over, only to receive silence in reply the first time and a 'let your mom tell you' the next time. "Is my mom coming back to the Enchanted Forest?"_

_"Henry-" Emma exhaled with an unwanted quiver shaking her voice. She believed it was Regina's place to tell her son that she was staying behind._

_The blonde still wasn't sure if she wanted to be understanding, disappointed, sad, angry, or a mix of all of them, after Regina had told her she'd be remaining in Storybrooke the previous evening. And if she was even more honest with herself, Emma wasn't completely certain her conflicting emotions towards the woman were only because Regina wouldn't go with Henry. After all, the woman had made the decision that they'd never see her again for both Henry and Emma._

_Twelve hours filled with packing and restless sleep after she'd been to see Regina, had only caused Emma to feel more doubt that leaving the other woman was for the best. But her judgment was also unclouded enough for her to admit that Regina had a point with her reasoning. Whether Henry and Emma stayed in Storybrooke or went to the Enchanted Forest, there would be some unhappiness. It was just a matter of which world seemed to offer more of a chance at being content in the long run, and mostly, in regards to their son. Emma wished she could be as selfless a mother as Regina was trying to be, and not think of the nagging in her gut and weight in her heart that told her she'd be happier here._

_Just as Henry's face blurred in front of her from the tears that were stinging her eyes, the door to the mansion was pulled back, and Emma saw Regina emerge from behind it. She looked past Henry to catch the other woman's eyes, while Henry turned his smaller body in the direction of the mother that had raised him. The blonde stood up straighter, even though, Henry still kept his hand tightly around her forearm, absentmindedly pulling her toward him. With the barely perceptible nod that came from Regina, Emma nudged Henry forward, so that they were soon standing beside the dark-haired woman on the threshold of the house._

_Regina reached out to place her hand on Henry's shoulder, squeezing it lightly, while she forced a smile as the boy stared up at her. He must have read the truth in her eyes that held more sadness and remorse than anything else._

_Her heart physically ached knowing that she was about to tell her son that she wasn't going with them. And that also meant she was going to break the promise she'd repeated over and over to him, from the first moment she'd held him: she would always be there to love him and care for him. Realizing that made it impossible for her to hide the pain and heartbreak she was already feeling._

_Henry's shoulders fell, and his head hung down, as he moved out of her reach and further into the house._

_Emma wanted to offer some comfort to the woman who was causing her own stomach to churn with its unsettling somersaults, after seeing the hurt etched on Regina's face and in her red-rimmed eyes. Yet, Emma's hand was barely able to leave her side, and not even the tiniest, reassuring smile would form on her mouth to help Regina keep her strength for what she was about to do. Maybe it was passive aggressive and childish, but Emma couldn't push past the pain and aggravation that had grown within her the more she thought about Regina's decision._

_"You're not going," Henry's quiet voice just about made it to their ears from where he was standing inside, facing away from them._

_Regina took an unsteady breath, and Emma watched her blink quickly and furiously, composing herself as much as she could. Then, she followed Henry in; Emma slowly joining them, and closing the door behind her._

_"No, I'm staying here," Regina's voice was raspy and raw, not allowing her to conceal that she'd probably been crying most of the night and this morning._

_Henry took a deep breath, audibly filling his lungs with air, then, turned to his mother. Surprisingly, the look on his face was one of acceptance, although, there were tears shining in his eyes with the soft light flooding through the windows above them._

_"Ok," Their son nodded and his gaze left his mothers to scan the large foyer, his head tilting back when he followed the curved staircase, until it turned into the ceiling above their heads. "Okay."_

_Both of his mothers stared at him questioningly, trying to decide how to take the repeated word that could be interpreted as both acceptance and indifference. Emma, however, seemed more concerned about what he meant by his response than Regina did. It was almost as if the brunette had wanted Henry to shrug off the fact she was staying and not look back as he left with Emma, because it would make it clear to her that she'd done the right thing and her son was on his way to being happier. Whereas, his other mom was trying hard not to glare at him and was a second away from grounding their son for the first time, if his reply was intended to be selfish and uncaring to the woman who, obviously, loved him more than anything._

_To Emma's relief, Henry's next words kept her from having to exercise her maternal role and discipline their son, but they also had her eyes growing wide and her stomach falling in shock._

_"So, umm," Henry cleared his throat and struggled to swallow, causing heat to rise behind both of his mothers' eyes, knowing their son was trying his best not to cry. "Are you staying, too, Emma? You are, right? Can I—can I go say goodbye to Mary Margaret and David? Do they…even know?"_

_Emma's lips parted, and Regina's forehead wrinkled as her eyebrows moved toward one another. The frown on her lips deepened and she spun around slowly, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes at Emma in accusation. The younger woman lifted her hands, palms facing out defensively; the shock on her face revealing she was just as confused by their son as Regina was._

_"You didn't-?" Was all Regina uttered, before Emma shook her head adamantly in negation of the question she knew the other woman was about to ask her._

_"I didn't tell him anything about what we talked about. Not that you were staying or my suggestion that we stay with you," Emma practically whispered, finding it almost impossible to get her voice to work._

_"Henry," Regina turned back toward the boy, who was studying them both with a look of uncertainty that rose behind the tears in his eyes. She took a step closer to him, and then, another, coming to stand right in front of him. Her hands reached out, one immediately resting on one of his arms, while the other brushed some of his hair away from the center of his forehead, before it mimicked the position of her other hand and sat on his other arm. "I'm staying. You don't have to. You're going to go with Emma and your grandparents."_

_Henry's eyebrows knit together in a combination of sadness and confusion. "But you're my mom. Don't I have to stay with you?"_

_Being called 'mom' tugged at her heart, but Regina managed to move her head back and forth. "That wouldn't be fair to you or Emma. You shouldn't be separated from so much of your family. But I—I can't go back to that land."_

" _Because they want to put you in jail," Henry concluded, his face scrunching up at the thought, like just saying it left a horrible taste in his mouth._

" _That helped me make my decision, but there are other reasons I never wanted or planned to return. That doesn't mean you should be forced to stay here; not when you believe you belong there and are so excited to live there."_

_Her hands rubbed up and down his arms encouragingly, but the conflicted expression on his face told her that he was still unsure._

" _Do you want to stay?" Regina asked, her tone was gentle but a firmness pierced through it, letting Henry know that she wanted the truth. She didn't want him giving her any white lies to spare her feelings. This was about what would truly make him happy._

_The boy took the time to think the question over. His eyes traveled from the mother in front of him to the mother a few feet away. For a moment, Emma believed he might have said that he wanted to stay, or would have at least gone along with remaining in Storybrooke without much of a fight, especially if his other mother stayed, too. But he still had trouble with making a decision and remained silent._

_"Would you be happy here?" One of Regina's hands reached up to stroke his cheek, while she bent over to be at eye level with her son. "Truly."_

_Henry shrugged in response, meeting his mother's eyes and their familiar warmth. "I—maybe?"_

_"You don't think you'd miss the rest of your family and friends in a few weeks?" Regina attempted to bring out the truth that she could tell he was now struggling with. It wasn't difficult to see that he didn't want to hurt or leave her, and had been ready to resign himself to staying in this world; even to the point where he was about to convince himself that he might be just as happy here._

_Yet, as his mother, Regina could see what he really wanted. Since the curse broke, Henry had been hoping for a way back to the other land, and lately, he'd only become more excited and emphatic about living in the Enchanted Forest. It was where he wanted to be. She had gradually learned to accept that and wasn't going to hold him back from it, just to have him inevitably resenting her later._

_"August's staying," Henry rushed to say with a brief jolt of optimism, sounding like living in Storybrooke was okay, too, especially if one of his best friends was here. However, a moment later, he sighed. "But yeah, I would. And I'd never get to be a real prince or swordfight like Gramps. I could be a hero there...live in the place my family lived. I want that."_

_Regina swallowed thickly, feeling the tears forming in her eyes. "And that's why I want you to go with Emma. I'm not going to take that chance away from you."_

_"Really?"_

_"Really."_

_Regina smiled as much as she could over the lump in her throat, and through the sadness and loss overwhelming her._

_"You're not going to make me stay with you? And this has nothing to do with Mary Margaret and David forcing you to let me go with them?"_

_Whether it was shock brought on by his mother's selfless actions, or just surprise that he was actually getting to go to the land he had wanted to be a part of for so long, their son was, apparently, still skeptical as to why she was allowing this._

_"No, this has nothing to do with your grandparents. I haven't spoken with them. I'm meeting them after this to tell them of my decision and discuss the future of Storybrooke," Regina assured and affectionately cupped his cheek. "Henry, you shouldn't have to stay here because of me when you don't want to. I want you to be happy and…it sounds like you would be happier there."_

_Emma's heart rose to her throat, sensing how his questions were unintentionally making this more painful for Regina. She noticed how the other woman's hand held Henry's arm a little tighter with each question, almost like letting him go had only existed in her mind as an abstract possibility that was becoming more and more real; forcing her to hold on, while she still could._

_"You'll be alone," Henry commented lowly, his eyes flitting to the hand he must have felt gripping him more firmly._

_"Don't worry about me. Others are staying and many new people will be moving in soon. I'll have a lot to do as mayor. Someone needs to make sure the town doesn't fall to pieces with everyone leaving," Regina forced a short laugh and Henry's lips tugged upward, but not without some hesitation. "I'll be fine."_

_"Come with us," Henry pleaded for the first time; his hand grasping the one Regina held his right arm with. "Emma and I will find a way to convince them to let you out of jail. We just didn't have enough time to here. We already agreed to take turns staying with you, so you won't be lonely."_

_"Henry, that jail is a horrible place. I wouldn't want you staying down there," Regina told him seriously. "And even if my freedom was eventually agreed upon, there would be people unhappy with it. I don't want you put in danger because the Evil Queen is your mother."_

_"But-"_

_"I couldn't be happy there, sweetheart. That land…jail or not, I couldn't be happy there," Regina maintained almost desperately, which had Emma's heart breaking in a way that echoed the shattered expression on Henry's face._

_"Will you be happy here?" Henry mumbled, his voice breaking._

_"Happier than going back to the Enchanted Forest, yes," Regina gave him the smallest watery smile of reassurance. "And knowing you'll be happier there will make me happy."_

" _I love you," Henry stepped into her, wrapping his arm's tightly around Regina's body in a way that was almost frantic._

_"I love you, too," Regina's arms hugged him back with just as much force. "So much. Don't ever forget that."_

_Henry's head brushed against her chest in a nod, and Emma watched tears finally slip down his cheeks. They held each other for nearly ten minutes, convincing Emma that the two were trying to memorize how it felt to hug the other, while maybe even wishing that if they didn't let go, time would stop and give them just a little longer. It only made the question that had been eating at Emma all last night and this morning-the one that had caused her to toss and turn instead of sleep-tear at her even more._

_The last thing she wanted was to break apart the mother and son; to break up the family Emma found herself becoming with the two of them. It made her want to fight against Regina's decision and put her foot down, ready to present only two possible options that Emma would settle for. However, Regina had already nixed one of those, since it was apparent Henry's mother wouldn't change her mind about going with them. So, that meant there was really one option left and that was for Emma and their son to stay with Regina. As far as Emma was concerned, leaving Regina alone and breaking up their unexpected, newly formed family was not on the table. But as the brown eyes, glassy with tears, caught hers, it was as if Regina heard her thoughts, and she shook her head, before her eyes closed again and she squeezed Henry tighter._

_After brushing a few more kisses over Henry's head, Regina pulled slightly away from him._

" _You should go to your room and pack anything you want to bring with you," Regina's voice scraped against her throat, while her arms reluctantly released her son._

_"I'll be back," Henry wiped his eyes with a plaid sleeve, leaving his mothers; his feet thumping heavily up the carpeted stairs._

_Once Henry's door clicked shut behind him, Regina threw her gaze back to Emma's. "You heard what I said to him?"_

_The question was more confrontational and testing than it was curious._

_"Yeah," The blonde wiped her own tears that had betrayed her and tumbled onto her cheeks._

_"And you remember what I said yesterday?"_

_"Regina," Emma moved toward her, after having remained frozen in front of the door since she'd entered the house._

_The brunette held up a hand, stopping Emma from completely invading her personal space and finishing what she had been about to say._

_"Then you've heard why I want Henry to go with you. It's in his best interest. So, Emma, please, go and don't complicate this," Regina swiped her fingers under her eyes and sat down on the wooden steps behind her, finding that her shaky legs were feeling more and more like they were about to betray her. "I don't want to give him a reason to hate me again."_

_"If we stay, how could he hate you? He'd have both of his moms," Emma contested, shoving her hands into the pockets of her coat._

_"But not the home and future he wants in that other land," Regina's eyes struck hers violently, but heavy pain rushed to settle and wipe out the fiery stare. "If he'd stay, he'd be apart from too many people he cares about. So would you."_

_"How do you know this wouldn't be enough?" Emma's voice rose, but she caught her temper and kept herself from shouting. She ran a hand roughly over her face and leaned exhaustively against the wall nearest to where Regina was sitting. "You're telling him to leave you. He'll never see you again. I'll never-"_

" _What? See me again to argue and complain about how I was right, and that you should have gone with your parents?" Regina countered with a tired sneer. "Because, as I said last night, that would be inevitable. I thought you'd agreed."_

_"I wouldn't say I agreed. I just couldn't argue that it wouldn't happen," Emma sighed, sounding defeated._

_"Precisely," Regina exhaled. "So, there's a very good chance this wouldn't be enough."_

_Wanting to ask what "this" actually was, but knowing it would raise even more questions than the time they had to answer them in, Emma stayed silent. Thoughts tumbled through her head, but problems continued to outweigh solutions, causing the hope that had attempted to remain flickering within her, to suddenly extinguish into nothing but wisps of smoke and cooling heat._

_They were both quiet for a few minutes, not knowing what to say, while attempting to absorb what was happening._

_"I'm gonna go wait in the car," Emma finally uttered and stepped away from the wall. "Send Henry out when he's ready."_

_"Emma," Her name was quiet and barely a whisper as Regina said it, but the hand Emma had on the doorknob stopped and she turned to face the other woman. Their eyes locked intensely with everything that was spoken and unspoken between them. "I'm sorry. I know you're angry."_

_"More frustrated," Emma finally relented with an unamused grunt. "Look, I understand…or I'm trying to. I know where you're coming from and why you think this is best. I just—I hate this."_

_"I know."_

_"But I'm going to trust your judgment. We've been through a lot together. Too much for me not to." Tears welled up in Emma's eyes with the acknowledgment. She studied Regina for a moment, both women taking in their last moments with each other; committing the image of the other to their memory. After a few more moments, she turned back to the door, opening it this time. Unable to look back at Regina, she stared out into the early morning sun that was casting an illusion of warmth over the brisk morning. "Take care of yourself."_

_Emma's head was barely turned to the side, the words just about creeping over her shoulder and toward Regina, but the other woman still heard the sincerity and tenderness in them. "You too," Regina managed louder and with more strength than she thought she had; the feelings behind the reply echoing Emma's._

A toasty, savory smell laced with cheese, garlic and tomato came wafting through the air that traveled through the open door of the guest room, and brought Emma out of the memory. She rubbed her watery eyes and cleared her throat of the emotion that had risen and settled there. Maybe she had been too distracted by how she was feeling, once things had calmed down in the Enchanted Forest, to really see past the display Henry might purposely (or unintentionally) be putting on for her and everyone else's benefit.

Just as Emma had conveyed to Regina the night before, it was obvious he missed his other mom at times, but nothing had ever made the thought that he was regretting his decision to go back to the other land, cross Emma's mind until now. Could Pinocchio/August be right? And even if he was and Henry had changed his mind about where he belonged, would it make a difference at this point? Emma couldn't be sure it would really change anything. Maybe it was only her own selfish hopes still looking for the happier alternative to her own crappy situation. Either way, there was no way to find out anything from Henry while she was in still in Storybrooke.

Emma groaned as she eased herself onto her elbows and lifted her back off the bed. Her stomach rumbled and whined for the food her body had sensed. It brought Emma back to all of the delicious meals she'd stayed for and shared with Henry and Regina in the month before they'd left. She'd be lying if she didn't admit that she'd missed Regina's cooking almost as much as sitting at the table with the other woman and their son. It left her questioning what she was still doing sitting upstairs, reliving the thoughts of leaving and missing Regina, when she could be in the kitchen helping the other woman get dinner ready.

Without another thought, Emma was on her way to the end of the hall and down the curved staircase.


	7. So This Is Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer in Chapter 1.

**Chapter 7: So This Is Love**

Just as Emma was almost to the kitchen she froze, hearing what she guessed was the heavy buzzing of Regina's phone against a countertop. She didn't have to wait long, wondering whether Regina would take the call or not, since it barely had time to rumble against the surface it sat on again, before Emma heard Regina answer with a casual, "Hello?"

Not wanting to eavesdrop, but also finding herself torn at the thought of turning around and walking away, Emma remained in place. The uncharacteristic way the other woman began speaking into the phone, only succeeded in causing Emma's curiosity to peak, and she raised an eyebrow even if no one could see her.

Regina's voice had actually perked up after hearing who was on the other end, and it became almost jittery, which was something Emma couldn't remember having heard from the woman before. There was a higher pitch to it that made it sound girlish and had Emma picturing a teenage Regina with bright, hopeful eyes twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

The mental image was interrupted as the sound of laughter bubbled through the air, practically floating around the blonde and making her smile, while also filling her with more curiosity as to who Regina could be talking to. It had to be someone special to elicit such a free response from her. Emma thought it had even begun to border on being flirtatious, which caused uncontrollable jealousy to snake through her gut. Yet as Regina's laughter faded, guilt settled over Emma. If Regina had moved on or was trying to, what right did that give Emma to envy the other person? Besides, it wasn't as if she and Regina had ever really brought up or named whatever seemed to have developed between them. And shouldn't she have been hoping Regina would find her chance at happiness, anyway, even if the reality truly was that it would never include her or Henry again?

She inched closer until she was just outside the kitchen, being more than careful to remain out of Regina's eyesight, even though, she could see that the brunette was facing away toward the window above the sink. She noticed how Regina had removed the black blazer that had been covering the sleeveless red dress she wore, and how one bare arm was being used to lightly hug herself, since the heat from the oven was probably only just beginning to heat the cooler room around it.

In that moment, Emma realized how the mansion really did feel like one of the castles back in the Enchanted Forest. Sure, it was warmer with heat and electricity pumping through it, but there was always that innate cold feeling, which was much more welcome in the summer than the chilly nights of autumn in Maine. However, the difference of the coldness in this house (just as it had been in Regina's castle) was that unlike the castle Emma's family lived in, the cold here held the inherent feelings of loneliness, isolation and sadness that seemed to exist within its walls; those feelings that had seemingly tried to fade whenever Emma and Henry had been around to make Regina forget them.

"I can imagine. That sounds lovely."

The smile Emma heard in Regina's voice broke through her thoughts, before the woman sighed and turned enough, so her secret observer was able to make out the unhappy straight line her lips set in at whatever was now being said to her.

"No, I'm sorry. I have to cancel on you for tomorrow," Regina apologized to whoever was on the other end of the line. "I'm so sorry. An old— _friend_  unexpectedly arrived in town last night and she's staying with me. I-"

Regina was obviously interrupted by the other person, and Emma heard her release a heavy breath.

"I really wanted to, too. Perhaps, sometime next week," Regina suggested and Emma saw the way her fingers were fidgeting with the neckline of her red dress, while she had her elbows leaning on the top of the breakfast bar for support. "Wednesday sounds perfect."

The tone that Regina used to respond was brighter, yet her voice had lowered slightly. This time Emma was able to see the smile that had a rush of warmth tingling through her body again, stopping when it coiled around her heart. That brief appearance of happiness glowing on Regina's face was genuine and what Emma always wished she could see in Regina, even if it wasn't she who helped make it appear. No matter how the confusing, involuntary jealousy tried to rile her up, knowing how rarely that kind of happiness was felt by Regina and how desperately she needed it, had Emma swallowing the sour taste in her mouth. It also caused Emma to miss the end of Regina's conversation, and she struggled to bring her own face into a more neutral expression, as she forced her legs to move and enter the room.

Regina's eyes jumped to hers, communicating her shock at Emma's presence and the way she had become unsettled at the possibility that Emma had been witness to her phone call. However, the blonde kept her face stoic, not letting on to whether or not she had caught the one-sided conversation and all of the vulnerability that they both were aware Emma would have been an expert at picking up on.

"How's the pizza?" Emma wondered. A smile crossed her lips, while her eyes traveled to the oven where the warm, delicious aroma of their dinner was sneaking into the air from the other side of the rectangular door.

Regina eyed her curiously, searching her with a fairly suspicious tint to her eyes, but came up with no reason to call Emma out or interrogate her, so she settled on clearing her throat and offering a smile. "Baking. It'll probably be done in fifteen minutes. Wine?"

A hand moved through the air in a wave, settling in the direction of the bottle of red sitting on the counter behind Regina. There was already a glass beside it filled halfway with the deep shade of liquid.

"Sure. Thanks," Emma smiled, perching herself on one of the black stools as Regina came over with an empty glass and the bottle that was soon tilted over it, so that the ruby wine splashed into it, painting its clear walls along the way. Once it was two-thirds full, the brunette gracefully swept the mouth of the bottle up and placed it on the breakfast bar in front of them, going back to the counter for her own glass.

Lifting it to her nose, Emma inhaled the warmth of the alcohol and the fruity, yet slightly dry smell of the grapes. She allowed it to soothe her for a few seconds, before she reluctantly opened her eyes and found Regina's steady gaze meeting her own. It made her skin flush beneath the white shirt she wore, traveling up her neck and into her cheeks.

The way Regina looked at her wasn't really with desire but it was just as intense. Yet, there was also something contemplative about her stare--something leaning toward doubt or remorse. And just as present was a silent plea that wanted something of Emma that couldn't be put into words, or at least, wasn't yet ready to be.

As Regina tilted her head to watch the unmoving sea of wine contained in the glass she held, Emma's skin cooled and the nearly imperceptible wrinkles of concern on her forehead gradually smoothed.

"Here's to me and my spontaneous escape to Storybrooke for a few days." The blonde was successful in getting Regina's attention, raising her glass in a toast that the other woman lifted her own glass to. "And to you, for continuing to do a damn good job of running this town."

They extended their glasses slightly toward each other, small smiles gracing both of their faces, before they brought the glasses to their mouths and each took a generous sip. Then, just as the round base of Emma's glass had almost been set down on the countertop in front of her, the brunette interrupted what she was doing.

"And if I may make a toast, _Your Highness_ ," Regina's lips twitched into a smirk at Emma's grimace, and also at the way the blonde had assumed she was the only one who had had something to say.  _So much like, Snow,_ Regina thought. There just always seemed to be some kind of hereditary trait or behavior that would randomly shine through Emma, and force Regina to remember who the other woman's parents were. But for once, Regina's lips didn't curl into a sneer at the thought of the person who Emma reminded her of—the one she had blamed for her unhappiness and sought revenge on for so long. Instead, she felt mostly indifference toward the thought of Snow White, now that she was a world away. Though, she was grateful to Snow for trying to convince the people of her kingdom that Regina should return with them to the Enchanted Forest because she knew Henry and Emma wanted it.

"Ms. Swan…Sheriff…anything is better than  _that_ ," Emma grumbled over the rim of her glass.

"Princess?" Regina's haughty expression grew as she challenged Emma's statement. "Because apparently, you are more like your mother than I thought."

Emma scowled at her somewhat petulantly, "Just make your toast."

A buzzing sound that came from behind Regina startled them both, and had the brunette rolling her eyes as she turned to look down at her phone.

"And here I was doubting your popularity, earlier," Emma quipped, recalling their talk at the diner, while trying to keep her tone as light and teasing as possible. "Two phone calls in less than twelve minutes. Impressive."

The blonde kept her gaze fixed on Regina as the woman silenced her phone.

"It was Jefferson. I highly doubt it's important," Regina faced Emma again, taking a long sip from her glass. "And if it is, I'm sure he won't be easily deterred in trying to get my attention."

"Yeah, no," Emma finished with a short laugh, easily gathering how persistent Jefferson must still be from Regina's tone. Silence hung between them for a long moment. "So…"

"Right. My toast," Regina, once again, extended her arm and her wine glass. "To-"

"Obviously, the first call wasn't Jefferson…"

The mumble that slipped from Emma's mouth caught Regina off-guard, and although she knew that she would normally be annoyed or frustrated by such an interruption, this one had Regina's outstretched arm falling dejectedly to rest against her stomach.

Emma's far from subtle hint was then met with a lengthy exhale from Regina. "No, it wasn't."

"Was it another one of the five people who'd visit you? Remember, you've only given me three of those."

Emma tried to sound as casual as possible-not that the prying wasn't already enough of a tell that she was more than a little bit interested in the answer-but she didn't want to seem like she cared too much and was making it personal.  _She wasn't._  Or so, she told herself. This was none of her business, just like finding out where Regina stood with the new sheriff was none of her business. Except unlike with Sheriff Brent, this time Emma was fairly sure the person with whom Regina had been on the phone with,  _was_  her competition. Not that she could start something with Regina. It was unlikely that anything good would come from finally telling Regina how she felt. So, that was probably the last thing that would happen this week with them both being experts at avoiding and not discussing whatever they might feel for each other, aside from whatever innuendo or semi-flirting came up in their bantering. And that meant the anonymous caller had already won. Either way, Emma needed to accept that there was no fight to be fought on her part, but reality and common sense didn't stop her gut from telling her the opposite.

"If only you were as interested in keeping track of important things, as you are finding out and keeping track of who has come and gone from my house during these past four months."

There was annoyance and warning in Regina's tone that could easily be associated with Mayor Mills, yet the hint of playfulness in her eyes kept Emma from worrying that she had overstepped and would be chastised further. But then, it was replaced by a more distant look that had settled in like a heavy fog over the dark irises.

"No one has ever really been concerned about whether I have people around to keep me company. Of whether or not I have friends," Regina acknowledged lowly, her head bending briefly, until she realized the vulnerability of the action and lifted it out of habit. "It's…touching."

"Or a little stalker-ish," Emma tried to joke, earning a tiny quirk of a smile from the other woman.

Regina shook her head, "If anything, I'd say nosey."

Emma chuckled as she sipped her wine.

A beat of silence passed as their serious expressions fell back into place.

"Like I said before we left, no one should be alone," There was an ache in Emma's chest, as she glanced from the kitchen window with more darkness than sunlight streaming in than when she'd first looked out it, and then, back to Regina.

She studied the pensive look on Regina's face and how her forehead crinkled with the ache of loneliness Emma had apparently awakened in her. It left the blonde wishing that a real smile—even if it was one that broke through because of the mystery caller—would lift Regina's lips again. This still-broken, somewhat melancholy woman who tried so hard to fight it, but usually, ended up resorting to slipping her mask on, was not the woman Emma wanted to leave behind when she left again. She wanted her to be healing and a lot happier. And that realization had Emma pushing aside her own selfish feelings and desires as much as she could. "You know you didn't have to reschedule whatever it was because of me."

"So, you were listening," Regina surmised with a frown, choosing to chastise the other woman, so she wouldn't overthink what Emma might have heard. "Miss Swan, eavesdropping is far from admirable."

"Sorry, I didn't really mean to. I just-"

Regina rolled her eyes in exasperation and came to stand beside Emma. She seemed unexpectedly calmer as she leaned into the bar. "I thought you wanted me around to keep you from boredom."

"Sure, it's more fun hanging out with you," Emma conceded, unable to ignore the incontrollable tug in her chest that reminded her of how differently her heart wanted this to go. "But if it's important, I don't think I'd have a problem watching TV or finding something else to do for a few hours tomorrow."

"It's nothing that can't wait another week," Regina said flippantly, the wine swirling around the glass she held in response to the small, circular motion of her hand.

"I don't know, I thought you sounded like you felt pretty bad about canceling, and it didn't seem like the other person was too happy."

Regina's look hardened at the way Emma wasn't dropping the subject and felt the need to push her. Truthfully, the courtesy Regina was receiving from Emma was somewhat unexpected and appreciated—maybe even a little heart-warming, if the tingling she felt inside of her from the care in Emma's eyes was any indication. Still, Regina had already made her decision. She wasn't in the mood to be convinced otherwise. And especially, not when postponing her plans was really because she didn't know what to do or what she actually wanted. It was safest for her this way. Maybe Emma returning was a sign or reminder from the universe that true happiness and love were unattainable for her; a risk that wasn't worth taking, since she'd be left with nothing every time. "It's really none of your concern."

"Seriously, Regina?" Emma leaned against the back of the stool she was sitting in and crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay, maybe it shouldn't be my  _concern_ —the concern you just said you were touched by, by the way-but I'm still the one getting in the way."

"You're not getting in the way of anything," Regina objected tersely.

"No? Because it sure sounded like I am," Emma replied snippily, narrowing her eyes at Regina who fought hard not to break the heated contact. "Look, you shouldn't have to wait another week for your date. Not because of me."

Regina's eyes widened, and Emma wasn't sure if it was out of surprise at finding out that she had caught on more than the brunette had previously thought or that Emma had misinterpreted the whole thing.

"You were flirting, right? I didn't totally misjudge that?" Emma took a hasty gulp of her wine, after suddenly feeling her heart clench and something swirling around in her gut that was more like loss and disappointment than the other dark, possessive feeling she'd initially felt before. It was a lot more weighted, too, and a sinking sensation filled her, instead of the percolating jealousy that had fought hard against her in its attempt to rise to the surface fifteen minutes ago. "I don't know why I wasn't expecting it, obviously you're…I mean…I guess I just thought—I probably should have asked if you were seeing someone."

Regina's eyes flitted from Emma's to nowhere in particular, as long as they landed on somewhere that wasn't the green eyes staring at her expectantly for the truth, while telling her they didn't want to know. If only being completely honest with Emma wouldn't result in them both ending up hurt.

The fingers that were playing with the stem of Emma's wine glass moved to join her other hand in her lap, her eyes following the motion. "I'm glad something…someone…is making you kind of happy here."

"Emma-" She tried to interject, needing to explain the situation to the other woman, even if she wasn't totally sure as to why. Of course, Regina had been far from oblivious to whatever had formed between them, but it wasn't as if either of them had made a move to further it or label what it was. At least, not before Regina had made the decision to stay in Storybrooke. That led her to believe she didn't owe Emma anything, and yet, something inside of her ached at the conflict in the green eyes and made her feel that she wasn't being fair to Emma.

"No, really, I am," The sincerity and conviction in the words made them believable, but the pain that clouded Emma's eyes had them both understanding that no matter how much she wanted to mean them, a small part of her kept them from being completely truthful. That selfish part of her frustrated Emma because she wanted Regina's happiness and to be happy for her.

"I'm sure Henry would be happy for you, too," She added with the smallest, encouraging smile.

Warmth rose behind Regina's eyes and tears pricked them like tiny thorns, causing her to blink the emotion away. No one had ever put Regina first, only wanting her to be happy. Yet, here Emma was, caring about her enough to push aside her own feelings and suffer any heartbreak that would come from giving Regina her chance at possible happiness. Only this time, the woman who had lost and never fully recaptured the happiness that had been stolen from her long ago, wasn't sure she wanted it at such a high price. And if she was even more honest, the real happiness she wanted was the temporary happiness that had made her feel almost complete since Emma had arrived last night. The only thing keeping that happiness from being completely fulfilling was that her son was in the other realm.

It made her wonder if she'd ever think she'd be able to find happiness with anyone else. How could she when she'd been so afraid of what she'd started feeling for Emma after the initial spark, that she'd thought it wiser not to find out and pushed her away to the Enchanted Forest? Not that that had been the sole reason, or even one of the primary reasons she had made Emma go, but giving Henry his chance at happiness in the other world was a good way to ensure she wouldn't risk giving her heart to someone again.

Except, the months apart had taught Regina that Emma had already managed to hold more than a piece of her. And the past two weeks (along with Jefferson and Grace's nudging) had convinced her that no matter how true that was, there was no harm in going on a date with a new friend to get to know one another better, especially when Emma wasn't returning to Storybrooke.

Regina cleared her throat. "I was going to make us a salad before all of the phone calls and you coming into the kitchen," She left her glass next to Emma's and went to the refrigerator, pulling out the lettuce, grape tomatoes, a carrot and a cucumber that she carried over to the counter by the sink.

Emma would have been watching her in awe, aware that if she had been carrying everything the way Regina was, the cucumber would have fallen and rolled across the floor, while the package of tomatoes would have crashed and spilled all over the place—tomatoes rolling everywhere. However, Emma was too distracted by seeing the other woman's need to avoid to notice Regina's graceful balancing act, and instead, slid off the stool and made her way to stand beside Regina, who was currently rinsing off the tomatoes. "Want some help?"

Regina turned the faucet off and walked around Emma, so she could grab a bowl from one of the cabinets. The way she raised herself on her tiptoes to better reach the shelf it was on, had Emma realizing for the first time that the woman had taken off the black heels she had been wearing all day. Her green eyes floated down to see all but the woman's toes lifted off the floor, with only black pantyhose covering her feet.

"If I remember correctly from Henry, other than your ability to make tacos, your culinary skills are severely lacking," Regina commented, as she lowered herself to her proper height and walked back over to where the vegetables were lying on the counter. If it wasn't for the lack of eye contact Regina made with her, Emma would have believed the other woman had completely recovered her emotions.

"Regina, I think I can peel a carrot," Emma glowered, and took a few purposeful steps over to Regina, reaching around the other woman's body and brushing against her back as her left hand landed on the carrot in front of Regina.

Not having expected the other woman's actions or the small amount of contact between them, Regina spun around in surprise, stiffening mid-whirl when her right shoulder almost met Emma's left, and her fingers felt the contradicting sensations of rough and smooth material as they brushed against the denim covering the blonde's thigh.

Regina twisted her head so Emma was able to see the accusing glare, which disappeared into the mix of conflicting emotions that swirled around in the frozen gaze the brown eyes were fixed in. Then, the dark eyes lowered to somewhere further down Emma's face, before green eyes followed their lead in their own descent, settling on Regina's lips. Their bodies tingled at their close proximity, knowing how easy it would be to move in and touch the other; press their lips against the other woman's. But neither moved until a warm exhale escaped Emma's lips and caught in Regina's hair, tickling the top of her ear.

Regina trembled, a sharp intake of breath sticking to the back of her throat. She swallowed thickly, her eyes capturing the now darker and heavier emerald ones. "Well, if you're sure you know what you're doing."

The words were hushed and raspy. And it wasn't difficult to pick up on the sound of the double-meaning that clung to them, not that either woman could identify what was meant by it exactly, other than some need for Regina to hear that she could place her trust in Emma to lead them in the right direction, now that she wasn't sure of which way was best to go.

"I am," Emma just about whispered, and her right hand came up to settle comfortingly on Regina's side. It took more self-control than she thought she had, not to dip her head and kiss the lips that were now only tinted by the remains of deep red lipstick, and give Regina the reassurance she could tell she needed, even if Emma wasn't entirely certain what it was for. But then, she remembered the phone call and what it meant: Regina was moving on with someone else; she was off limits. And even if that hadn't been true, kissing her was out of the question, if either of them was going to make sure she ended up falling through that portal on Saturday, right?

"The peeler's in the top drawer over there," Regina struggled against the longing and tender way Emma's eyes held hers, but managed to flick her eyes to her left indicating where she was talking about, while trying not to brush or rub anything further against Emma.

The hand on Regina's waist moved to rest on her lower back, and as much as Regina wanted to go with her instinct and lean into it, she remained tense.

"Sorry," Emma breathed sincerely, keeping her hand against the other woman for a long moment, before pulling away with the carrot in her other hand and moving to retrieve the peeler.

Regina took a deep breath to steady herself before turning and slicing the cucumber she picked up. She sighed and used her elbow to brush back a few strands of hair that had fallen toward her face. If only she could get the words out that hadn't made it past the back of her throat to tell Emma that she was the one who was sorry.


	8. Let It Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am so, so happy to say I've updated this! I really appreciate everyone who has sent me messages and reviews continuing to show interest in this story. I know it has been close to a year since I updated, and while I've been working on it little by little because of writer's block and other circumstances, I'm happy to announce I'm back to writing this. I'm truly sorry it took so long. I hope this update was worth at least some of the long wait and I'm looking forward to hearing what you think of it. I will say that the warning I have for this chapter is that things have to get worse before they can get better. Thank you to all who are going to continue to read and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer in Chapter 1.

**Chapter 8: Let It Go**

Emma tossed…and she turned.

And she tossed…and she turned.

Henry.

Regina.

Past and present.

Ignorant dukes and entitled princes.

Unnamed callers and (re)scheduled dates.

One thing after another skipped through her mind and kept the blonde from relaxing into the soft, cotton sheets and perfectly plump pillow beneath her. Apparently, the night before was too good to be true, and the insomnia that Emma had battled in the Enchanted Forest was back with a vengeance. Not even the comfort and familiarity of Regina's house, or the instinctual sense of home she felt there, were enough to soothe her to sleep.

The worst part was, now that it had been a few hours since the reeling in Emma's mind had begun, Henry and Regina were what her thoughts continued to stubbornly focus on the most. She forced her stomach not to roll, while she wondered who Regina would be going on a date with. Was it someone from the Enchanted Forest or this world? Were they witty, charming, and attractive? She shook her head, erasing all of the scenarios starting to take on a life of their own. But just as they faded, thoughts of Henry popped into her mind, and no matter how hard she tried to keep them away, there was still the constant return of the chance that maybe Henry would rather be in Storybrooke with his moms, which kept flooding in and poking at her with bits of hope.

The fact that she really wasn't sure how Henry felt, though, made her feel like a terrible mother for being so caught up in the rollercoaster ride of what she'd been feeling, that she hadn't taken the time to truly talk to Henry about how he was adjusting to the Enchanted Forest and to find out if it was where he still wanted to be. She was sure Regina would have talked to him if their positions had been reversed. Hell, even Snow had been more of an attentive mother than Emma; paying more attention to her adult daughter and letting Emma know she could confide in her about what she was feeling toward all of the changes when she was ready. No, Emma definitely wasn't on her way to winning Mother of the Year, and that sense of failing their son gnawed unpleasantly at her.

In a swift movement, she flopped roughly onto her stomach and groaned loudly into the pillow; the hot, frustrated breath she exhaled, heating the fabric it caught in and warming her face. Once her green eyes were closed tightly again, Emma tried to force away any thoughts and keep her mind clear of anything but the idea of falling asleep. That only lasted about a minute, though, and soon, she was feeling the thick air, barely circulating between her nose and the pillow, beginning to suffocate her.

Rolling onto her side, she met the blackness of the room, which was only penetrated by the red digits lighting up the clock on the bedside table. According to the lines that joined to form the shapes of the numbers, it was two-thirty in the morning. She'd been trying to fall asleep for over four hours with no luck. She sat up in the full-sized bed, the puffy duvet falling from her chest as she shifted beneath it. A shiver rose within her when the cooler air in the room met the skin that wasn't covered by the black tank top she had worn to bed. Both of her hands rose to her bare arms and began rubbing over the goose bumps she could feel beneath them _._

It was so late. She was cold. And damn, it was quiet.

Emma couldn't remember having heard Regina walk past her room, but the other woman must have gone to sleep hours ago. There was a good chance that she'd been careful to sneak by or had timed it, so that she was walking through the hallway when Emma had been distracted with brushing her teeth. She hadn't seen Regina since she'd left her in the kitchen after dinner, and it wasn't surprising that they hadn't sought each other out to say goodnight, since it was obvious some space was needed for each of them to process what they were feeling about Regina's still-postponed date (as far as Emma knew) that was originally supposed to happen the next day. And perhaps, more than that, it was needed for them to be able to push away the warmth and pull toward one another that they'd been trying to ignore all along, only to have almost completely given into it during the incident with the carrot.

Recalling that moment and how much she had wanted to kiss Regina—to just pick up where they had left off before being divided by two worlds—and have them admit their feelings to one another and just say screw it to everything keeping them tiptoeing around each other; to give Regina a good reason not to go on the date with the other person, had Emma wishing she wasn't so honorable, and also, afraid of her feelings. But nothing could ever be that simple, especially between them.

Throwing back the comforter, she stood up, deciding that sleep was a lost cause and staying put in the guest room was only doing her more harm by unsettling her stomach with the thoughts she was having. Maybe a cup of hot cocoa would help to put her mind at ease, like it used to.

She noticed the silvery pool on the floor beside the foot of the bed and reached down to pick up Regina's silky button-down pajama top that she'd worn the night before. Emma had put on the light-gray pajama bottoms earlier, deciding they were clean and would be more comfortable to sleep in than any pants she currently had, but she'd opted to just wear her tank top. Now that she was freezing, however, she slipped the cool material on and felt it immediately absorb the heat from her body, leaving her warmer than she had been a second ago.

She then made her way through the dark room, and was careful not to make too much noise when opening and closing the door behind her. And she tried to be just as quiet, while making her way down the hall to the stairs. It was only when Emma passed Henry's old room that she noticed the first floor wasn't as dark as the second.

Standing on the landing that separated one part of the curved staircase from the other, she peered over the railing and noticed the yellow glow flowing from the study. She assumed Regina was still awake, and debated whether or not a mug of cocoa was really worth facing the woman, when Emma was caught between wanting space from her and wanting to be with her in ways that had her heart hammering throughout her chest and stomach, and her cheeks growing warm. She also didn't want to make things any more awkward or complicated between them. Yet, Emma doubted she'd be able to fall back to sleep without help, and hot chocolate sounded like the perfect sleep aid, so she decided to continue her journey down the stairs.

On her way to the kitchen, she poked her head into the study, not wanting to alarm Regina by appearing as a shadowy figure creeping across the house. When she stepped in further, however, she was surprised to find that the room was empty and the other woman was nowhere to be found. A frown crossed her lips in confusion. It seemed odd that Regina would have forgotten to turn off all of the lights, but Emma only shrugged to herself and turned, leaving the room and moving into the kitchen.

It wasn't until she walked completely into the large room that she saw the dim light gleaming down from the kitchen ceiling; a change from the usual brightness that would shine from the fancy-but-tasteful chandelier hanging over the island. After giving her eyes a moment to adjust to the new level of brightness that was a change from the well-lit study and the darker hallway, Emma turned her head to the right, catching sight of Regina, who was standing near the stove with her shoulders slouched as she leaned tiredly against the counter. Emma guessed her vision was focused on the steam that was beginning to crawl out of the kettle in front of her, telling the normally impatient woman that the water inside would soon come to a boil.

After watching Regina a moment longer, Emma realized that the other woman hadn't heard her or noticed Emma's presence at all. She could easily turn around and go back to the guest room. However, something kept Emma from moving. Maybe it was the tense yet defeated way Regina leaned into the counter for support. Or maybe it was that familiar feeling of comfort and connection that she'd come to feel around Regina; the one that reminded her she wasn't alone because there was someone who  _got_ all of it… _got_ her, or at least the parts of her no one else seemed to truly understand. Whatever it was, Emma stayed.

"Hey," She said hesitantly, not having come up with a way to not startle the brunette, and so, she chose the gentlest greeting she could think of to break the ice. As expected, Regina's body shook a little at the unexpected voice behind her, and she sucked in a breath before turning to look at Emma over her shoulder. "Sorry, I tried not to scare you. Didn't think you'd still be awake. Can't sleep?"

The initial reaction Regina had was to answer Emma's question with a small, dark, and humorless laugh, but she refrained, seeing the genuine concern already spilling into the other woman's eyes. The truth was, Regina wasn't sure how long she had stared into the glowing fireplace, watching the blue and orange flames that had become significantly shorter and had gradually slowed down their vigorous dancing, unable to lift themselves as high as they had been, while thought after thought had rushed through her mind, before she'd decided it was time to make some tea in an attempt to soothe her. All she knew was that it felt like an eternity since she had assured Emma that she had everything under control and didn't need help with the dishes, before the blonde had somewhat reluctantly left her side and gone upstairs. It also felt like it had been just as long since the dishes were cleaned, dried, and put away, and Regina had chosen to take refuge in her study—cider in hand, to process all that had happened, instead of following the path Emma had taken up the stairs.

While she'd been sitting in the study, she had recalled how dinner had been mostly silent and awkward, yet far less awkward than she'd expected, considering the way they had been extra careful when moving around each other in the kitchen, after speaking of Regina's date and the near-kiss they'd almost leaned in for. Unlike those moments of overthinking and self-consciousness, however, during dinner it had been more that they had both been lost in their own thoughts as they ate their pizza, not knowing what more to say or how to breech subjects that seemed too weighted to be discussed at the table.

Other than a few comments from Emma about how good the pizza was and how much she had missed pizza and Regina's cooking in general, the furthest they'd trekked into deeper conversation was about Henry. But most of the time had been spent with Regina trying not to notice the way the blonde had appeared to shift between being caught up in her own thoughts and wanting to say something. She had tried to break through the silence a few times as well, wanting to give them both something else to focus on, but nothing had seemed worth the excuse for idle conversation.

It was apparent that they both needed some time by themselves to really digest what was happening. Yet, even once Emma had gone upstairs, Regina had still felt the heaviness that had blanketed the air around them throughout dinner. She had still felt the knots growing tauter in her stomach, even though dinner and their conversation in the kitchen prior to it had occurred hours before. And the same thoughts that had kept her silent during their meal never stopped spinning in her mind.

She'd sat on the sofa, staring down at the mostly empty glass of cider that she hadn't removed from the place she held it on her thigh, wondering for the millionth time how everything had gone so wrong. Her eyes had closed tightly and she'd leaned her head against the back of the sofa, feeling the tingling in her feet, which had been curled under her.

Almost everything had felt like a bad dream ever since Snow had announced they'd grown enough beans to allow everyone to go back to the Enchanted Forest. Time had gone by so quickly after that. Rash decisions had been made, even if they had seemed like the best thing to do at the time. Feelings had been temporarily shoved down. And just like many times before, Regina had ended up being the one who was left alone. It wasn't self-pity that she indulged in with that thought, however,—she could have risked going back with them—but there was the feeling of hopelessness that love and family would never be hers to hold on to. That nowhere would ever really be home for her, even if the modern conveniences and bed in the mayoral mansion were more desirable than a jail cell in the Enchanted Forest.

A warm tear had slipped down her cheek and she'd reached up to fiercely wipe it away, thinking that, perhaps, never being able to have any of that was her punishment for all of her evil deeds. It was likely that she would never reach proper atonement for what she'd done. And maybe, the small taste she'd had of such things in the weeks before Emma and Henry left was more than she deserved. Surely, she must have known somewhere within her that happiness would be as rare and fleeting for her as it always had been. At least she'd gotten the chance at a new beginning, even if it felt empty most of the time and she wasn't completely happy.

So, Regina wanted to laugh coldly at Emma's question, because she hadn't even thought of sleeping. Because as much as she would have given anything to try to escape all of the nauseating thoughts and feelings through sleep, she knew herself well enough to know that it wouldn't come easily. And if she did manage to fall asleep, it wouldn't be dreamless or a state of oblivion. Everything would just keep her restless.

The silence between them lasted longer than it usually did, but Regina finally turned to fully face Emma. She cleared her throat, unhappy that her emotions had done their best to betray her and force her to make Emma more aware of the effect her thoughts were having on her. "I'm not sure. I haven't gone up to my room yet to try."

A greater look of concern flashed through Emma's eyes, and only more worry fell over her expression as she also noticed Regina was still wearing the sleeveless, red dress from earlier. Although, she observed, it was wrinkled in spots that had been perfectly pressed before.

"Don't you have to go to work tomorrow?" She asked, taking the fact that Regina replied as permission to enter further into the bubble of vulnerability and private solitude that Emma had intruded upon, and made her way to stand beside the island.

Regina's eyes tracked Emma's movements, before she nodded and made sure to glance over her shoulder to check on the water that was just beginning to bubble inside the glass tea pot behind her. "Unfortunately, the fact that I need to be at work by eight doesn't matter when my mind seems to prefer thinking over sleep."

"You're preaching to the insomnia choir."

"Oh?" Regina tried to sound as if she hadn't noticed the deep circles beneath Emma's eyes the night before, even as they still hung as weighted, fading shadows imprinted in Emma's skin.

"C'mon, there's no way you haven't noticed the giant bags under my eyes," Emma made her voice as light as she could, while her lack of sleep and a new sadness fought to keep it low and weary. "All of the layers of foundation and concealer I used at the ball last night could barely hide them. I'm surprised any of those  _well-bred_ men even wanted to dance with me."

"Why? They must have sensed that you possess other admirable qualities and interests to intrigue them with other than your looks," Regina attempted to tease with a tired smile.

Emma scoffed, "Yeah, like my royal title and everything that comes with it."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know," Emma smiled softly in reassurance. "But I'm sure most of  _them_  don't care about anything beyond me being able to pass as sufficient arm candy when we're married and they're taking all of the credit for running the kingdom."

"Then, you shouldn't be so set in entering a courtship with any of them."

It was quiet as Emma suddenly felt self-conscious in reaction to the matter-of-fact way Regina had spoken. Even though Snow had brought up how they didn't want Emma to feel she had to find a husband immediately, the way Regina's statement had been born out of the simple common sense it reflected, made Emma feel like she was pressuring herself into something she shouldn't be. That she was making a mistake, which Regina seemed to believe she was above making. Perhaps, Regina even thought it was one that the Emma she'd known was incapable of making. After all, Emma had always been independent, never settled, and knew better than to enter a convenient and, most likely, loveless marriage.

"Henry," Emma offered up as explanation in a small, barely audible voice.

"Has  _you_ ," Regina said firmly, leveling her eyes at the other woman and looked into Emma's with a deep sincerity. "You're enough. I know it can be hard to believe. But trust me, as the woman who raised him as a single mother for over a decade, you really are all he needs, Emma."

"Maybe," There was a soft exhale that Emma used to try to fight the tears in her eyes. "Just wish I hadn't been so caught up in my own crap, lately."

"Our son is smart. I'm sure he understands that you're adjusting to that land, too. And he has plenty of family and friends that he knows care about him."

"My mother and Neal said something similar."

"Neal?" Regina's eyes widened just before her brows knit in confusion, puzzled by the revelation that Henry's biological father was still alive, after his seemingly fatal gunshot wound and falling through a portal.

"Apparently, the portal he fell through brought him to the Enchanted Forest, and he survived the gunshot. He found us shortly after Rumpelstiltskin and I had rebuilt everything."

"So then, Henry has Neal as well," Regina's statement held a hint of sadness but it wasn't laced with the bitterness that she or Emma expected at finding out Neal had returned to Emma and Henry. In the past, it would have irked Regina that his fate would be so lucky and would play out in such a way, bringing him right to the place where he could start bonding with Henry and mending things with Emma. But now that Regina had made her own choice to be separated from Henry and Emma, she felt comforted by the fact that it sounded like Neal was looking out for the two people she cared about the most.

"Yeah, he's been good with Henry. They've been spending a lot of time together."

Regina reached out and tentatively laid her hand over Emma's arm. "See? So Henry doesn't need someone in his life that married his mother for her title or riches. You don't need them either. If they can't see you as-" Regina shook her head in exasperation, her hand falling away from Emma. "Those men don't deserve you."

Emma stepped toward Regina, who had turned to stare down at the stove. This time she was the one who rested her hand on Regina's arm, getting brown eyes to slowly meet hers. "Thank you," Emma's voice was as sincere and grateful as the look in her eyes. "So, speaking of suitors, did you call the mystery caller back?"

"Not yet."

Emma's lips parted, but she didn't say anything, unsure of whether she felt relief or disappointment at Regina's not having moved her date back to that night, and also, not wanting to push Regina after the clipped response. Instead, she walked across the kitchen to grab a mug out of the cabinet that she recalled them being in.

Seeing how Emma had purposely moved away, Regina turned her attention back to the transparent kettle. "I suppose you did appear rather exhausted yesterday," She relented softly, preferring to bring the conversation back to its initial topic.

"More like totally exhausted," A small grunt came from the blonde as she returned to Regina's side, and set the mug she was holding on the counter beside the one Regina had taken out for herself. Emma wasn't surprised that the other mug was already complete with a string from a teabag slipping over its ceramic edge. "You're being too nice, especially for well—you."

Regina lifted her eyes that had focused on the mug Emma had placed next to hers, finding green eyes staring back at her from only a foot away. There was a hint of offense written on Regina's face, but it was mostly shadowed by something more conflicted that came across during Emma's truthful observation. "I beg your pardon?"

"You would never have let the fact that I have two huge circles under my eyes go without some kind of teasing or comment before, but you did yesterday and now."

She knew Emma meant it harmlessly and just to kid her—jabbing at her pride—but Regina was aware of how the truth wasn't as inconsequential as Emma probably thought it to be. Regina recalled the worry and remorse she'd felt at seeing the exhaustion written all over Emma's pale features when she'd taken in her appearance the night before. She had been upset by how much weaker—physically and emotionally-Emma seemed, prior to getting some proper rest. Even now, the melancholy that continued to remain in Emma's eyes, and the heaviness that Regina could feel weighing the other woman's spirit down, had something twisting unpleasantly inside the brunette. She couldn't help but feel she was mostly responsible for the changes in the blonde, even though, it had never been her intention to make Emma unhappy. That was the last thing she'd wanted.

"They're better today," Regina commented nonchalantly, her fingers moving to play with the mug in front of her, taking the thin string of the teabag in between her fingers, before gently twirling and tugging it against the rim of the cup in order to distract herself from whatever truth Emma was trying to force her to confront.

"Yeah, but yesterday I'm pretty sure I looked like I was recovering from a bar fight or could have easily been related to a raccoon. Are we sure I'm not somehow related to Meeko from  _Pocahontas_?" Emma chuckled lightly, attempting to ease away the heavy frown Regina's lips had settled into.

She smiled when she observed the corner of Regina's mouth curving upward in response to the mental image she'd inspired and felt herself enjoying how they were beginning to fall back into what was pretty much a normal conversation for them, instead of the tension that was present earlier in the kitchen or during their quietness at the dinner table.

"You never know. At this point, I'd expect the possibility of being related to any of this world's fictional characters," Regina did her best to echo the chuckle that had come from Emma. "And yes, I suppose you did look  _that_  exhausted, but I don't think you resemble Meeko, he's far cuter. Unless, you were referring to his appetite…"

"Ok, I take it back, you're mean. And for the record, I don't believe that you think Meeko's cuter," Emma concluded with a lopsided smile and humor dancing in her eyes, before they both fell quiet again.

They stayed silent for a long time, and eventually, Emma felt she'd been wrong and any hope she'd had for normal conversation, faded. Once she was unable to take the low rumble of the boiling water as the only sound between them anymore, she began walking over to where Regina had placed the hot chocolate when they'd gotten back from the store.

"The insomnia sucks in the other land. Nothing there helps and there's no cocoa," Emma vented through the quiet to the woman across the room. The top of the rectangular box tore open easily, and soon, the blonde had freed one of the packets of hot chocolate from its mate. "I've tried everything. Talking to Jimi-Archie, teas, potions…even some sleeping spell Blue used didn't work."

Emma felt Regina eyeing her intently as she returned with the packet of cocoa and the can of whipped cream she'd grabbed out of the refrigerator. There was something apologetic etched across Regina's face, but beyond that, Emma couldn't read her. She tried hard not to feel the brown eyes on her as she tore open the pouch and dumped the cocoa powder into the empty mug, but they were boring into her, heating and tickling her skin.

"I don't understand," Regina's voice was so hushed when she spoke, that Emma's eyes rose slowly to meet hers, uncertain at first, as to whether the other woman had said anything at all. When she recognized the curiosity in the brown eyes, it confirmed that Regina had definitely said something, and it only left Emma more puzzled by the confused statement.

"Don't understand what?" She wondered uncomprehendingly. Regina had been so vague that she had no idea what the brunette was even referring to.

A few beats of silence passed, but Regina soon found the words to clarify what she'd meant. "When Henry had trouble sleeping, he'd beg me to make him cocoa. The first time I argued that the sugar would only wake him up more, but I was wrong. It relaxed him. He fell asleep as soon as I tucked him back into bed. Obviously, it must help you sleep too—and better than a sleeping spell—or you wouldn't have come down here."

Emma shrugged, now understanding that Regina was looking for some possible insight into how her potential sleep aid worked. Some small amount of relief washed over her, since she hadn't been expecting Regina's comment to have been about something that simple and insignificant. It left her wondering if that had really been what Regina's quiet remark was about, but she responded to the other woman's clarification anyway. "There's something comforting about it. I guess the chocolate and the warmth…it makes me feel content. I have no clue why the sugar never kicks in, though."

"I see," Regina breathed, barely nodding in response.

"You should try it. It really does help with falling asleep."

"I believe I'll stick with my cup of tea this time."

"Oh well," Emma smiled knowingly at her and felt strangely comforted by Regina's predictable choice of drink. "Maybe next time I'll do a better job of convincing,  _Your Stubborness_ , about the sleep-inducing superpowers of hot cocoa."

A genuine laugh came from Regina, catching Emma by surprise. It filled her, curling within the blonde and leaving her frozen with what she knew to be a goofy, adoring smile on her lips that could definitely be seen reflected in the warm green of her eyes. Too many months had gone by since she'd heard that wholehearted sound that Regina rarely allowed herself to reveal, especially when Henry wasn't around to be the source of it.

"I'm not sure it'll be worth your effort, but you could try," Regina's voice was somewhat melodic and airy as she recovered her composure. "Although, I can't say I trust your judgment on superpowers and their effectiveness, after the way you've always boasted about your own, clearly inadequate, lie detection abilities."

"Hey, maybe my superpower isn't perfect, but it always works when it comes to you and you know it," Emma shot back gently, through the grin that had barely faded from her face, even after Regina had stopped laughing.

Regina quirked a challenging eyebrow but it quickly fell back into place when she finally locked eyes with Emma, recognizing the way the other woman was staring at her. That way that couldn't be put into words but the meaning behind it could always be seen and felt. The depth of it made Regina tremble inside, while her heart forgot to beat, and her lips parted just enough to release the breath she held.

For the thousandth time that night, Regina was left wondering how she had let Emma go. She wondered how she had been so doubtful and insecure; believing that at some point, Emma and Henry would have come to resent the family that the three of them had started to become. That they'd come to resent her. Because when Emma looked at Regina like that—amazed, happy, comfortable, understanding—any chance of being truly rejected by the blonde seemed impossible. Of course, they would have had a lot of work to do to in order to keep building their relationship, but why had she been so sure it would have fallen apart when all she found in Emma was acceptance and support? Why had life been so effective in teaching her that even family could easily betray and turn their backs on you, to the point that she rarely found a good reason to risk her heart?

All that her experiences had ever done was make her afraid and confused about who could be trusted and was worth trusting her heart to. And yet, they had also made her more aware of how significant it was that Emma hadn't just moved on, the way Regina had expected her to. On the contrary, she had come back. And Regina knew better than to simply accept that it had only been because Emma needed a break from adjusting to life in the other land. Not when Emma was looking at her like that, or tracing a thumb over Regina's lip last night, or almost kissing her in the kitchen earlier.

Tearing her eyes away from Emma's and the way they overwhelmed her, she turned and moved to reach up to another cabinet. When Regina returned to the blonde's side a cylindrical container was placed on the counter beside the mugs.

"And I can read you just as well," Regina's gaze locked on hers. "Maybe even better, if we're counting that time you accused me of murdering Dr. Hopper."

There was no malice or blame attached to Regina's words, yet Emma's face fell guiltily. "I should have trusted you and my instincts. I'll always be sorry I didn't."

"I wasn't looking for an apology…"

"That doesn't mean you don't deserve one," Emma ran her thumb over the back of the hand Regina had rested on the counter. "I messed up, and I'm sorry for not believing in you and hurting you."

Regina barely hesitated, moving forward to lean into Emma and softly press her lips to Emma's cheek. Whether it was smart or not, Regina didn't care. All that mattered in that moment was how Emma had made her feel valued and cared about, which left Regina grateful. A piece of her that she had suppressed for so long had been healed by Emma's words and the heartfelt sincerity she looked to Regina with. "Thank you," She whispered, slowly moving her head away, and noticing the way she and Emma inhaled at the same time, settling on breathing each other in, instead of taking the opportunity to do anything more.

Green eyes filled with so many indefinable feelings lingered on hers, until Emma ducked her head to study the label on the container that Regina had placed in front of her. A moment later, they were lifting back to Regina from the reddish label that they'd remained focused on, after reading the word printed in white across it: Cinnamon. "Thanks."

The smile that lit up Emma's face was enough to cause Regina's heart to flutter and made her own smile appear. "I've never seen you drink cocoa without it."

The cinnamon may have been a small gesture on Regina's part, but it was one that was greatly appreciated by Emma and she felt her heart warmed by Regina's thoughtfulness. It probably wasn't that big of a deal and Regina was just being considerate, but it only helped to further remind Emma of how well the other woman had come to know her. And Emma was also getting the feeling that the plastic container in front of her was Regina's way of saying she didn't want any awkwardness between them either.

Still, she wasn't surprised when Regina was quick to cover up any deeper meaning to her kindness.

"Besides, I always had to get the cinnamon out for Henry when he wanted hot cocoa," Regina easily reminded, trying to dismiss the gesture and ignore the fact that Emma's head had tilted in her direction, causing their bodies to shift closer to each other. "It's practically a habit."

"Right," Emma tried to hide her growing smile that eventually twisted into more of a smirk by the time she was reluctantly forcing herself to break the intense way they were staring at one another, in order to face the whistling kettle and turn it off.

"What? You know it's true," Regina defended against the wry expression she saw.

"Yeah, I know. I can tell when you're lying, remember," Emma said smugly, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning her hip against the edge of the stove. "I can also tell when you use Henry as an excuse to downplay why you actually did something."

Regina scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Because you never have."

Emma laughed lightly at the slight panic at the truth that must have caused Regina to fight fire with fire. "I'll own up to it. No denial from me."

"Well, aren't you the noble one."

"Regina," Emma's serious tone broke through their back and forth, in an attempt to get them back to what had been the cause of it. "Out of habit or not, I really do appreciate it. And I don't want things to be weird between us either. No matter what, I care—I don't want what friendship we have, ruined, just because you tried to keep going on with your life, as you should have."

"I know."

That same thick tension from earlier in the kitchen began to settle between them again, as Emma commanded herself not to look anywhere but the stove in front of her. The buzzing and prickly tingles that felt like static electricity against her skin kept her strongly aware of Regina's close proximity to her.

Her eyes were cast down when she couldn't help but glance hesitantly over at the brunette, immediately catching how the hand Regina had resting on the counter, tightened into a balled fist. An unsteady breath left Regina's mouth, and Emma slowly lifted her head in time to see Regina's eyelids close in a drawn out blink, before they opened again and were unable to hide the shock of meeting the green eyes that were now staring into them.

It was almost imperceptible how Regina's shoulders rose into a more guarded and rigid posture, while her other hand fell away from her mug in sync with the way her lips sunk into a frown, but it didn't go unnoticed by Emma. She watched as Regina bowed her head, so she could gaze down at the mugs, and then, her hands.

"Emma, we—" Regina began lowly after a moment, watching as the blonde tried to bury whatever thoughts had made her suddenly look away and focus on lifting the full pot of water, pouring some of it into the mug with the chocolate powder, before she raised it over the mug with the teabag.

"Say when," Emma stopped Regina from continuing what she was about to say, as the water and steam escaped from the open spout into the air above the mug, and were captured by the ceramic walls.

"That's fine. Thank you."

Regina pulled the mug toward her by the handle, dipping the teabag into the steaming water to help it steep. She listened to the kettle clanking against the metal burner when Emma set it back down, knowing that the obvious interruption and sobering sound were meant to keep them from focusing on anything that was more than attempts at friendly small talk. If only it could be that easy to avoid and ignore all that was between them. Regina doubted that anything would cause her to forget the whirling thoughts that had kept her from going upstairs to sleep. Nothing would make those thoughts and the raging feelings, still tumbling sickeningly in her gut and swirling into a painful headache, go away. And definitely not when the air surrounding the two women had remained warm and heavy; humming and prickling with the energy that was deliciously intense, but also, intimidating and frightening for both of them. Too many scary possibilities emerged from it and begged to be confronted.

"Emma."

"I'm sorry," Emma uttered almost voicelessly at the same time Regina had spoken, mixing her cocoa with more concentration than was necessary. "You should be going on a date tomorrow and-crap!"

Somehow Emma had added too much force to her stirring and some of her cocoa splashed out of her mug and onto the counter. Regina had been quick to grab a towel and was already cleaning up the spill, but not meeting Emma's eyes, even when her arm brushed against the silkiness of Emma's borrowed pajama top. Another apology came from Emma as she lifted her mug and stepped back a bit, so that Regina could clean the counter better.

"Stop apologizing," Regina told her with a low voice, turning her attention to the red mug Emma was holding. She used the towel to wipe the remnants of cocoa from the side and bottom of the mug as Emma held it out to her.

"I'm the one who keeps making messes," Emma countered, her voice wavering with the defeat hovering inside of her.

"No." Regina caught the sharp tone she hadn't fully intended to use, and softened her voice. "No, you're not."

"Yes, I am. And spilling cocoa's probably the smallest, but not the dumbest one," Emma argued blinking away tears that barely had barely been given time to form in her eyes. "I went along with you staying here. I left with Henry. I came back."

"Mostly, because of  _my_ decisions," Regina reminded in a voice that was rough with the raging emotions churning within her.

"Regina," Emma placed her mug back on the counter and curled her hand gently around Regina's arm. "I'm still the one who left. And now, you're trying—starting to move on, and I'm the idiot who came back and..."

"Just because I'm beginning to try and move forward with my life, doesn't mean it's working; that I'm happy," Regina's eyes met the ceiling, pausing for a moment, until they were finding Emma's again. "It doesn't mean that I don't think of you and Henry every day, wondering if there isn't another way…an alternative. Did you really think I'd just let go?"

Their eyes held each other, while Emma searched for the truth she already knew. The truth that spoke of everything they still hadn't said out loud.

Emma sighed in resignation. "No."

"This isn't easy for me," Regina sounded exasperated with the internal conflict she was dealing with.

"I know it's not," Emma whispered after a moment.

Understanding was reflected in both of their eyes.

"The truth is I don't even know if I want this. To go on a date," Regina sighed in frustration. "Jefferson and Grace encouraged me to go when they found out someone invited me out to dinner. She's the principal at the elementary school. We met a month ago and started working together to come up with ways to help the students in this town get a better education. She cares a lot about the kids, as do I. And we've become friends."

"You don't have to—" Emma tried to let Regina know that she wasn't owed an explanation, but Regina continued, the pointed way her eyes latched onto Emma's, saying she needed to finish.

"Jefferson and Grace thought it was a good idea and said there was no harm in having dinner with a friend, who it's apparently obvious I have a connection with. And perhaps I am comfortable with her, but that doesn't mean…"

Regina stopped and Emma forced herself to swallow, feeling as conflicted as the stormy brown eyes staring at her. She wasn't sure what to say when her stomach was unsettled with the mix of painful emotion within her.

But when Regina didn't continue, Emma spoke. "They're right. Even if you both just end up staying friends…It's good to have a friend."

"I know they mean well, but—"

"But it's hard to be going on a date or dancing at a ball with someone, when you really want to be doing those things with someone who's a world away. And it's even worse when a huge part is nagging at you and reminding you that you were too afraid to risk your heart with the person you miss, so you have to wonder how someone, who's practically a stranger, is going to get you to take that step," Emma's last words held a sourness, but her eyes were tender and knowing. "Yeah, I get it."

Regina's lips slowly parted and she was about to say something, when Emma's face contorted with a mix of darker emotions. She shook her head emphatically, keeping Regina from what she was about to say, and grabbed the mug of hot cocoa from the counter.

"I can't do this," She turned away and left the room, not allowing Regina to see what little composure she had held on to, completely breaking.

Regina's vision blurred with the tears that had returned to her own eyes, and she felt the pain, frustration, and anger boiling up within her. Without thinking, she unleashed them, taking them out on the closest thing she could grab. The ceramic mug shattered against the floor, the pieces flying and scattering everywhere, while the tea splashed across the tiles and onto the white cabinets. She ran her hand across her face, trying to calm her flaring nostrils and heaving chest as she sucked in a few deep breaths.

Then, she was left to decide whether she should go after Emma or let her be.


End file.
